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Wedding ceremony
Message de kool posté le 20-10-2011 à 23:35:37 (S | E | F)
Bonsoir,
notre professeur d'anglais nous a demandé d'écrire une expression écrite.voici le sujet:
write an e-mail to your e-pal in which you describe a wedding ceremony you attended lately.
Voilà ce que j'ai écrit:
Hi! How are you? I hope you’re fine.
Guess what: I went to a wedding ceremony last month, it was so amazing. Everything was wonderful, from the invitation to the end of the ceremony.
When we arrived, my mum and I, to the wedding hall; we were stupefied because of the immensity of the place. There were 20 tables of 10 people. In the centre of the room was put the sofa of the two newlyweds and the instrument of the band.
When all the guests arrived, the waiters began to serve juice with small cakes, while the band was playing music. Some women were dancing. The cameraman was filming everything that was happening.
Then, the two married made a majestic entrance. Everyone was looking at them. The bride was wearing traditional caftan, and the groom a suit. But they didn’t stay with the same clothes during all the ceremony, they’ve changed them 4 times.
Next, all the women got up to dance. I danced too and I enjoyed that. A few minutes later, we joined our places to eat. The meal consisted of pastillas seafood, followed by lamb steamed. For the dessert, we were treated to some fruits along with ice cream. The feast was delicious.
During the rest of the ceremony, everyone was dancing, singing, taking some photos with the married, congratulating them for this new happily life they will live.
The festivities continued until 7 o’clock, the time when the married went to the hotel, and the guests went home.
In brief, the wedding was really beautiful, and I’m happy because I didn’t miss it.
I hope that my description interest you. And I won’t refuse if you describe me a wedding of your country.
Write to me soon.
Love.
Pouvez-vous s'il vous plait me corriger les fautes et me dire si ma rédaction est bien faite?
Merci d'avance
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 20-10-2011 23:39
Message de kool posté le 20-10-2011 à 23:35:37 (S | E | F)
Bonsoir,
notre professeur d'anglais nous a demandé d'écrire une expression écrite.voici le sujet:
write an e-mail to your e-pal in which you describe a wedding ceremony you attended lately.
Voilà ce que j'ai écrit:
Hi! How are you? I hope you’re fine.
Guess what: I went to a wedding ceremony last month, it was so amazing. Everything was wonderful, from the invitation to the end of the ceremony.
When we arrived, my mum and I, to the wedding hall; we were stupefied because of the immensity of the place. There were 20 tables of 10 people. In the centre of the room was put the sofa of the two newlyweds and the instrument of the band.
When all the guests arrived, the waiters began to serve juice with small cakes, while the band was playing music. Some women were dancing. The cameraman was filming everything that was happening.
Then, the two married made a majestic entrance. Everyone was looking at them. The bride was wearing traditional caftan, and the groom a suit. But they didn’t stay with the same clothes during all the ceremony, they’ve changed them 4 times.
Next, all the women got up to dance. I danced too and I enjoyed that. A few minutes later, we joined our places to eat. The meal consisted of pastillas seafood, followed by lamb steamed. For the dessert, we were treated to some fruits along with ice cream. The feast was delicious.
During the rest of the ceremony, everyone was dancing, singing, taking some photos with the married, congratulating them for this new happily life they will live.
The festivities continued until 7 o’clock, the time when the married went to the hotel, and the guests went home.
In brief, the wedding was really beautiful, and I’m happy because I didn’t miss it.
I hope that my description interest you. And I won’t refuse if you describe me a wedding of your country.
Write to me soon.
Love.
Pouvez-vous s'il vous plait me corriger les fautes et me dire si ma rédaction est bien faite?
Merci d'avance
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 20-10-2011 23:39
Réponse: Wedding ceremony de gerondif, postée le 21-10-2011 à 00:02:52 (S | E)
Bonsoir,
bon travail !
Hi! How are you? I hope you’re fine.
Guess what: I went to a wedding ceremony last month, it was so amazing. Everything was wonderful, from the invitation to the end of the ceremony.
When we arrived to the wedding hall, my mum and I were stupefied (assez rare! essayez flabbergasted) because of the immensity of the place. There were 20 tables of 10 people. In the centre of the room was put (was tout seul irait, ou alors, you could see)the sofa of the two newlyweds and the instruments of the band.
When all the guests arrived, the waiters began to serve juice with small cakes, while the band was playing music. Some women were dancing. The cameraman was filming everything that was happening.
Then, the two married(ne va pas tout seul, the bridegroom and his bride) made a majestic entrance. Everyone was looking at them. The bride was wearing traditional caftan, and the groom a suit. But they didn’t stay with (maladroit, essayez to wear)the same clothes during all the ceremony, they’ve changed them 4 times(mettez le prétérit, temps du récit).
Next, all the women got up (je pense que ça passerait mais c'est se lever du lit au départ,essayez to stand up)to dance. I danced too and I enjoyed that. A few minutes later, we joined our places to eat(fait un peu français traduit, conjuguez : to sit down at the dinner table). The meal consisted of pastillas,(virgule) seafood, followed by steamed lamb . For
During the rest of the ceremony, everyone (j'aurais mis des prétérits simples en ed)was dancing, singing, taking some photos with the newlyweds, congratulating them for this new happy(adjectif) life they will live.(have)(pour éviter la répétition)
The festivities continued until 7 o’clock, the time when the married couple went to the hotel, and the guests went home.
In brief, the wedding was really beautiful, and I’m happy because I didn’t miss it.
I hope that my description interest(prétérit) you. And I won’t refuse if you describe to me a wedding of your country.
Write to me soon.
Love.
Réponse: Wedding ceremony de kool, postée le 21-10-2011 à 00:23:39 (S | E)
bonsoir gerondif et merci pour votre correction. ça m'a beaucoup aidé.
juste pour info: pastilla c'est un plat marocain composé soit de poulet ou de poisson entouré d'une pâte très fine et cuite au four, et j'ai trouvé que ce mot se dit aussi en anglais alors je l'ai utilisé.
en tout cas merci
Réponse: Wedding ceremony de gerondif, postée le 21-10-2011 à 00:43:47 (S | E)
Re bonsoir,
merci pour l'explication, il faut alors une virgule derrière pastillas, parce que si c'est un nom composé, le premier élément est invariable, ou alors c'est dans l'autre sens, fish-pastillas, meat-pastillas...
J'ai re corrigé un ou deux oublis....
Réponse: Wedding ceremony de notrepere, postée le 21-10-2011 à 01:18:52 (S | E)
HelloJust a few suggestions:
You should say: When we arrived at the wedding hall...
I don't think the adjective "flabbergasted" is the most appropriate here:
to shock someone, usually by telling them something they were not expecting (Cambridge)
I think "speechless" (or 'awestruck') is more apropos.
Cordialement
-------------------
Modifié par notrepere le 21-10-2011 15:59
Hello g, 'flabbergasted' has a more negative connotation in AE. We're shocked, but not necessarily in a good way.
Réponse: Wedding ceremony de gerondif, postée le 21-10-2011 à 10:30:49 (S | E)
Hello again,
np is right: you go to a wedding but you arrive at a wedding, I didn't see that one.
as for flabbergasted, I was more sensitive to the "surprised" side of the word than to the "shocked" side of it, the dictionnary in line gives:
flabbergasted' found in these entries:
French:
être baba - tomber des nues - en rester pantois - tomber raide - en être soufflé
(j'ai complété les expressions)
flabbergasted: WordReference English-French Dictionary © 2011
flabbergasted sidéré ahuri adj
flabbergasted (greatly surprised) sidéré adj
flabbergasted colloquial familier éberlué adj
flabbergasted colloquial (staggered) très surpris familier soufflé adj
speechless will be more neutral, like very surprised, astonished, or even dumbfounded, although it is a less common adjective.
Let's check:
dumbfounded /dʌmˈfaʊndɪd/ adjective
abasourdi.
'dumbfounded' found in these entries:
English:
French:
bête - ébahir - flan - haut - interdit - méduser - stupéfait
dumbfounded: WordReference English-French Dictionary © 2011
dumbfounded (perplexe, stupéfait, étonné) étonné, perplexe, stupéfait abasourdi adj
dumbfounded (wordless) froid nm
dumbfounded (wordless) surpris, étonné froid adj
dumbfounded éberlué
Réponse: Wedding ceremony de kool, postée le 21-10-2011 à 23:01:27 (S | E)
bonsoir, merci gerondif et np pour vos réponses. j'ai utilisé "flabbergasted" car j'ai trouvé que le mot est approprié. et encore une fois merci
Réponse: Wedding ceremony de algerienne92, postée le 22-10-2011 à 11:28:09 (S | E)
Merci
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