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Correction/présentation 2
Message de carton99 posté le 17-10-2011 à 13:34:24 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
après avoir réécrit, relu et avoir utilisé le dictionnaire pour ma présentation, je vous présente ma nouvelle version.
Je vous remercie pour l'aide apportée pour améliorer ce texte.
So first I am going to give you information about the market for video games.
At the present time video games market is divided into 5 varius formats.
There is the historical format, composed by the computer, video game console and portable video game console. And for some years the mobile phone.
About offer to buy, we can be identified 5 types offers.
-The demo, which is small part of video games to give desire purchase the full version.
-A fixed price, we find this offer in the computer games which are usually sold at $ 50, but we can see a change in price with mobile phone where the price is around $ 1.
-Free games, we can see a lot on internet they are often programmed in flash, the developer makes money with advertising embedded in games.
- Free to play, the game is free but there is an in-game shop to buy items to improve the aesthetical game. For example in this shop you can buy new clothes for his avatar.
-Monthly pass, access to the game is only possible if you pay a subscription about $15.
I finished this part with any numbers, the market for video games amouts 75 billion dollars in 2010. The number was in constantly growing, but it stagnate since 2008, this is the first time that the market stagnates we can think that the last 3 years the market is arrived to maximum.
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Modifié par carton99 le 17-10-2011 13:35
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Modifié par lucile83 le 17-10-2011 13:47
Message de carton99 posté le 17-10-2011 à 13:34:24 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
après avoir réécrit, relu et avoir utilisé le dictionnaire pour ma présentation, je vous présente ma nouvelle version.
Je vous remercie pour l'aide apportée pour améliorer ce texte.
So first I am going to give you information about the market for video games.
At the present time video games market is divided into 5 varius formats.
There is the historical format, composed by the computer, video game console and portable video game console. And for some years the mobile phone.
About offer to buy, we can be identified 5 types offers.
-The demo, which is small part of video games to give desire purchase the full version.
-A fixed price, we find this offer in the computer games which are usually sold at $ 50, but we can see a change in price with mobile phone where the price is around $ 1.
-Free games, we can see a lot on internet they are often programmed in flash, the developer makes money with advertising embedded in games.
- Free to play, the game is free but there is an in-game shop to buy items to improve the aesthetical game. For example in this shop you can buy new clothes for his avatar.
-Monthly pass, access to the game is only possible if you pay a subscription about $15.
I finished this part with any numbers, the market for video games amouts 75 billion dollars in 2010. The number was in constantly growing, but it stagnate since 2008, this is the first time that the market stagnates we can think that the last 3 years the market is arrived to maximum.
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Modifié par carton99 le 17-10-2011 13:35
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Modifié par lucile83 le 17-10-2011 13:47
Réponse: Correction/présentation 2 de gerondif, postée le 17-10-2011 à 14:02:11 (S | E)
Bonjour,
au lieu de traduire en force un texte français, essayez de vous exprimer avec des phrases structurées, avec un sujet, un verbe, un complément. Si vous avez vraiment 24 ans et que vous produisiez ce type d'anglais, eh bien il y a du travail d'amélioration à faire.
Regardez ce que donnent vos phrases:
About offer to buy, we can be identified 5 types offers.
au sujet de offres d'acheter, nous pouvons êtres identifiés cinq types d'offres.
I finished this part with any numbers: j'ai terminé cette partie avec n'importe quels nombres.
votre texte est difficile à améliorer car les phrases de départ étaient incomplètes et la traduction passe mal:
vert: correction fournie, rouge: à corriger.
So first I am going to give you (some)information about the market for video games.
At the present time , the video game* market is divided into 5 various formats(choix de mot bizarre).
There is the historical format, composed by (ne va pas)(en ne mettant rien, juste une virgule,ça passerait, une simple apposition va suffire)the computer, the video game console and the portable video game console. And for some years, the mobile phone.
About offer to buy, we can be identified 5 types of offers.
(séparez bien votre appellation et son explication)
-The demo, which is a small part of the video game to give the desire to purchase the full version.
-A fixed price, we find this offer in the computer games which are usually sold at $ 50, but we can see a change in price with mobile phones where the price is around $ 1.
-Free games, we can see a lot (of them) on the internet. They are often programmed in flash, the developer makes money with advertising embedded in games.
- Free to play, the game is free but there is an in-game shop to buy items to improve the aesthetical(le dictionnaire en ligne ne trouve pas cet adjectif) game. For example in this shop you can buy new clothes for his avatar(sens?).
-Monthly pass, access to the game is only possible if you pay a subscription, about $15.
I finished(présent ou futur, ou alors "let me finish, laissez moi terminer....)) this part with any numbers(some figures, des chiffres), the market for video games amounts (ou prétérit comme c'est 2010) to(quand vous prenez un verbe, mettez la préposition qui lui convient) 75 billion dollars in 2010. The number was in(si c'est un verbe, pas de in, si c'est un nom, pas de ing) constantly growing, but it stagnate (avec since, il faut un present perfect)since 2008, this is the first time that the market stagnates(idem avec it is the first time + present perfect) we can think that (depuis? pendant?)the last 3 years the market is(mauvais choix d'auxiliaire) arrived to... maximum.
Réponse: Correction/présentation 2 de carton99, postée le 17-10-2011 à 22:01:18 (S | E)
Bonsoir,
Merci pour l'aide apportée.
Voici le texte modifié.
So first I am going to give you information about the market for video games.
At the present time the video games market is divided into 5 various medias.
There are the historicals formats, the computer, video game console and portable video game console. And for some years the mobile phone.
About bid, we can identify 5 types of offers.
-The demo, which is a small part of the video games to give the desire purchase the full version.
-A fixed price, we find this offer in the computer games, which are usually sold at $ 50, but we can see a change in price with mobile phone where the price is around $ 1.
-Free games, we can see a lot of them on the Internet. They are often programmed in flash, the developer makes money with advertising embedded in games.
- Free to play, the game is free but there is an in-game shop to buy items to improve the aesthetical game. For example in this shop you can buy new clothes for his character.
-Monthly pass, access to the game is only possible if you pay a subscription about $15.
Let me finish this part with some figures, the market for video games amounts to 75 billion dollars in 2010. The number was constantly growing, but it stagnate since 2008 , this is the first time that the market stagnated we can think that the last 3 years the market is saturated.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 18-10-2011 07:12
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