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Correction/ texte technique
Message de taranghiano posté le 01-10-2011 à 22:30:03 (S | E | F)
Bonsoir,
J'aurais besoin d'une vérification de ce texte ci-dessous.
J'ai un doute sur l'utilisation du verbe MISS; INSTEAD OF ainsi que le choix des temps passés.
Merci d'avance.
As we agreed on the occasion of the last monthly meeting we checked with your team the reason why we missed 500 kg of nitric acid.
J'UTILISE LE VERBE 'TO MISS' : dans le sens 'où ont été consommés les 500 kg de produit'
At the end it seems that the nitric acid has been used for the descaling of the rinse bath of the bottle washers instead of keg filling department
INSTEAD OF NE ME SEMBLE PAS CORRECT... je voudrais dire 'au lieu que dans le soutirage fut'
Currently a preventive scale treatment is applied for the rinse baths but unfortunately the injection valve has not been fixed yet despite this action was agreed before.
Time to time the preventive descaler is not dosed inside the bath rinse therefore the build-up of scale start on the wall of bath.
Theoretically the descaling of bottle washer should be done once per year when preventive descaler is dosed correctly. We were forced to carried out a descale in week 52 due to the same problem in line 1 and we consume at that time 150 kg of nitric acid.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 02-10-2011 07:54
Message de taranghiano posté le 01-10-2011 à 22:30:03 (S | E | F)
Bonsoir,
J'aurais besoin d'une vérification de ce texte ci-dessous.
J'ai un doute sur l'utilisation du verbe MISS; INSTEAD OF ainsi que le choix des temps passés.
Merci d'avance.
As we agreed on the occasion of the last monthly meeting we checked with your team the reason why we missed 500 kg of nitric acid.
J'UTILISE LE VERBE 'TO MISS' : dans le sens 'où ont été consommés les 500 kg de produit'
At the end it seems that the nitric acid has been used for the descaling of the rinse bath of the bottle washers instead of keg filling department
INSTEAD OF NE ME SEMBLE PAS CORRECT... je voudrais dire 'au lieu que dans le soutirage fut'
Currently a preventive scale treatment is applied for the rinse baths but unfortunately the injection valve has not been fixed yet despite this action was agreed before.
Time to time the preventive descaler is not dosed inside the bath rinse therefore the build-up of scale start on the wall of bath.
Theoretically the descaling of bottle washer should be done once per year when preventive descaler is dosed correctly. We were forced to carried out a descale in week 52 due to the same problem in line 1 and we consume at that time 150 kg of nitric acid.
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 02-10-2011 07:54
Réponse: Correction/ texte technique de sherry48, postée le 01-10-2011 à 23:31:46 (S | E)
Hello taranghiano.
missed -past continuous seems better here than simple past
instead of is ok, or you could write 'rather than'
I also suggest 'although' instead of despite.
From time to time (or Sometimes)
dosed seems unnatural to me-how about treated? therefore the build-up of scale start (3rd peron singular) on the wall of the bath.
Theoretically the descaling of the bottle washer should be done once per (or 'a')year when the
We were forced to carried (infinitive, or you could simplify by saying 'we had to descale')) out a descale in week 52 due to the same problem in line 1 (previously mentioned problem?) and we consume(past tense or simplify with the verb 'use') at that time 150 kg of nitric acid.
Maybe someone will have other suggestions.
Sherry
Réponse: Correction/ texte technique de gerondif, postée le 02-10-2011 à 17:51:49 (S | E)
Hello,
As we had agreed at our last monthly meeting we tried to track with your team where the missing 500 kg of nitric acid had been used.
J'UTILISE LE VERBE 'TO MISS' : dans le sens 'où ont été consommés les 500 kg de produit'
(rather than in the keg filling department irait en effet fort bien)
INSTEAD OF NE ME SEMBLE PAS CORRECT... je voudrais dire 'au lieu que dans le soutirage fut'(pour moi soutirer veut dire vider et filling remplir mais c'est peut-être le même atelier)
Currently a preventive scale treatment is applied for the rinse baths but unfortunately the injection valve has not been fixed yet despite(est une préposition,malgré + nom)although this action had been planned before.
From time to time the preventive descaler is not dosed inside the bath rinse, therefore the build-up of scale starts (je ne suis pas sûr de ce "start", to appear irait mieux) on the wall of the bath.
variante:
From time to time the preventive descaler is not dosed inside the bath rinse, which provokes (ce qui provoque, which entails, ce qui entraîne) the build-up of scale on the wall of the bath.
Theoretically, the descaling of bottle washer(pluriel?) should be done once per year (once a year est plus courant) when the preventive descaler is dosed correctly. We were forced to carried(infinitif) out a descale( ce mot existe ? je l'aurais mis en ing comme rinsing, filling,)in week 52 due to the same problem in line 1 and we consumed(prétérit) at that time 150 kg of nitric acid.
(Cela ne donne pas envie d'aller boire un coup dans vos cuves !! Enfin, elles sont nickel après non? )
Réponse: Correction/ texte technique de taranghiano, postée le 02-10-2011 à 20:18:24 (S | E)
Merci pour vos corrections !
Ne vous inquiétez pas cher Gérondif les cuves/installations sont effectivement nickels...
Bonne soirée
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