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Correction/présentation

Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Correction/présentation
Message de misterg posté le 19-09-2011 à 14:20:50 (S | E | F)
Hello everybody,

J'ai préparé une petite présentation, mais je ne suis pas sûr de moi. Pouvez-vous me signaler mes erreurs s'il vous plaît?

Today I’d like to give you a short presentation of myself.
This presentation is divided into three parts.
First, I’ll take you about my hometown.
Secondly, I’ll tell you about my studies and career goals.
Finally, I’ll describe my hobbies.

So first, I come from Nancy a medium-size city which is located in East French with a population of about 727 766. It is a beautiful city with a magnificent place “Stanislas Place”, one of the greatest places in Europe. Nancy it’s not an industrial area but its tourism and a research town.

This leads my next parts.
My school careers, after my Baccalauréat which is the French national High School.
I enter in a DUT to prepare a 2 years technical degree in a quality and logistics department.
After My graduate DUT, I set decided on the goal of entering an engineering school. UT accepted me into branch studies, my specialization is manufacturing management and engineering. It’s my third semester at UT. I would like to have a job in quality or production service. Before to finish my engineering degree, I must to pass my English exam. My long term goal is to working in an international company to travel around the world. I hope to create my own quality consultant company, it’s my ultimate goal.

Now, I’ll describe my passion.
During my free time, I practice Basket-ball with my school team. I’m keen on Basket because it is a collective sport which allows you to meet a lot of people and friends. Although the basket-ball is a collective sport where the individual skills talent are very important, for me Basket is the more individual collective sport. I’m training twice per week.
I practice dance but I’m a beginner, I’m training since one month.

Merci pour vos réponses.

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 19-09-2011 14:25


Réponse: Correction/présentation de gerondif, postée le 19-09-2011 à 18:07:29 (S | E)
Bonsoir,

Today I’d like to give you a short presentation of myself. (on dit souvent I'd like to introduce myself)
This presentation is divided into three parts.
First, I’ll take you about my hometown.(to take / to talk)
Secondly, I’ll tell you about my studies and career goals.
Finally, I’ll describe my hobbies.

So first, I come from Nancy a medium-size city which is located in East French with a population of about 727 766 (bizarre de dire about, environ, pour donner un chiffre à l'unité près). It is a beautiful city with a magnificent place “Stanislas Place”, one of the greatest places in Europe. Nancy it’s not an industrial area but its tourism and a research town(ce groupe de mots n'a pas de verbe).

This leads to my next part.
My school careers, after my Baccalauréat which is the French national High School (degree/diploma).
I enter in a DUT to prepare a 2 years technical degree in a quality and logistics department.
After My graduate DUT, I set decided on the goal of entering an engineering school. UT accepted me into branch studies, my specialization is manufacturing management and engineering. It’s my third semester at UT. I would like to have a job in quality or production service. Before (+ ing)to finish my engineering degree, I must to pass(to take an exam, passer, to pass an exam, le réussir) my English exam. My long term goal is to working in an international company to travel around the world. I hope to create my own quality consultant company, it’s my ultimate goal.

Now, I’ll describe my passion.
During my free time, I practice Basket-ball with my school team. I’m keen on Basket(corbeille à papier, ne pas abréger les sports) because it is a collective sport which allows you to meet a lot of people and friends. Although the basket-ball is a collective sport where the individual skills talent (un mot de trop)are very important, for me basket-ball is the more(comparatif ou superlatif) individual collective sport. I’m training twice per week.(plutôt au présent d'habitude)
I practice (en anglais britannique, to practise est le verbe et practice est le nom)dance(plutôt dancing) but I’m a beginner, I’m training since one month.(avec for since, il faut un present perfect en ing ici, de plus since est faux car:
I have been working for ten minutes(durée), since 6 o'clock, point de départ)





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