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Message de fanny30v posté le 18-09-2011 à 10:23:49 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
voici un texte rédigé; est-ce que vous pourriez s'il vous plaît apporter vos corrections si nécessaire ?
Merci pour votre aide.
Calvin is a little boy who is under pressure all day
I can give him some advices to surmount this pressure.
First, the morning he should buy an alarm clock to wake up alone, like that her mother will not shout
at him.
The schoolmarm of Calvin doesn’t explain the answer he should tell her that he did not understand and ask for an explanation
Then, he is bullied by a classmate f I advise him to speak to school director of this classmate in order to resolve this situation. He can also learn a martial art to defend himself.
Afterwards, I advise Calvin to not play with the food because many children can’t eat and he should be polite at the table to not support the criticism of his father.
Then Calvin must do this homework seriously before go to play because it’s the most important. He can play a little moment to relax but he must listen to his parents and go to bed early.
to summarize, Calvin must listen to this parent, but to be less under pressure he should to speak to his parents, school director of this situation. Perhaps they can help him to be less stressed.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 18-09-2011 10:36
Réponse: Correction/about Calvin de silky, postée le 18-09-2011 à 16:22:32 (S | E)
Hello Fanny 30v,
Here are a few tips that may help you correct SOME of your mistakes.
Calvin is a little boy who is under pressure all day
I can give him some advices (uncountable noun) to surmount this pressure.
First of all,( preposition missing) the morning he should buy an alarm clock to wake up alone 1, like that her mother will not shout
at him.
The schoolmarm ? of Calvin doesn’t explain the answer he should tell her that he did not understand and ask for an explanation 2
Then, 2 he is bullied by a classmate f ? I advise him to speak to (il manque un article) school director of this classmate in order to resolve this situation. He can also learn a martial art to defend himself.
Afterwards, I advise Calvin to not (inverser) play with the food 3 because many children can’t eat (have no food to survive?) and he should be polite at the table to not support (to support = aider) the criticism of his father.
Then Calvin must do this homework seriously before go (le verbe qui suit une préposition prend la forme en ing) to play because it’s the most important 4. He can play a little (moment) to relax but he must listen to his parents and go to bed early.
to summarize, Calvin must listen to this parent , but to be less under pressure he should to speak to his parents, school director of this situation. Perhaps they can help him to be less stressed.
1.Cette phrase me semble boiteuse. C’est un peu comme si vous disiez qu’il devrait acheter un réveil le matin.
2.Ne devriez-vous pas commencer cette phrase (et la suivante) par if ?
3. Pas d'article défini devant un nom de matière pris dans un sens général
4.L’essentiel = the most important THING
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