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History of England
Message de gnorgh posté le 09-08-2011 à 16:05:23 (S | E | F)
Hello!
Pour mes devoirs de prépa HEC, j'ai eu à rédiger des fiches de civilisation. Il y a donc une partie concernant l'Histoire de l'Angleterre et j'aimerais que vous corrigiez cet extrait car j'ai l'impression d'avoir fait des fautes, du fait de la construction avancée des phrases...
The History of the United Kingdom is marked by the meeting of four different lands with different cultures : England, Wales, Scotland and Ireland. United Kingdom is in fact a sovereign country including these four regions, as we can see on the picture describing its forming.
Firstly a celt nation (dwelled by the Brittons) with the Wales, the country is conquered by the Roman Empire in 43. They finally leaved the island in 410, crumbling under the weight of Saxon invasions. The Brittons tried to resist, principally in Wales and Cornwall (it’s why the celt culture is more important in these regions). About the year 1000, the Norman invasions began and William the Conqueror got the England throne and replaced the Anglo-Saxon power. During this period, the laws are changed (the Common law) with elements of Norman law and a lot of french words are introduced, the Norman aristocracry speaking his language. In 1152, Henry II, already Count of Anjou and Count of Maine, married Eleanor of Aquitaine and became by the same Duke of Aquitaine, saddling at the head of a vast empire, more poweful than the French Kingdom : the Empire Plantagenet. His son, Richard I, took part in the Crusades, during which he was being dispossessed of the Aquitaine by the King of France. The barons revolt caused troubles throughout the kingdom and we must wait the year 1272 to see again a king, Edward I, in the country. His great-son Edward III, claiming the french throne after the heir’s death, launched into the Hundred Years’ War, who ended in 1453, after the English was pushed out. In 1536, the Acts of Union, decided by the king Henry VIII, unified Wales to England. In 1640, the power absolutism brang about the English Civil War and Richard Cromwell declare the republic. After his death, Charles II took the crown back and tried to restore the absolutism. In 1688, the Glorious Revolution established the constitutional monarchy. In 1707, another Acts of Union unified Scotland of England and Wales which formed the United Kingdom.
Merci
Dank U well
Gracias
Thanks
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Modifié par lucile83 le 09-08-2011 16:41
Message de gnorgh posté le 09-08-2011 à 16:05:23 (S | E | F)
Hello!
Pour mes devoirs de prépa HEC, j'ai eu à rédiger des fiches de civilisation. Il y a donc une partie concernant l'Histoire de l'Angleterre et j'aimerais que vous corrigiez cet extrait car j'ai l'impression d'avoir fait des fautes, du fait de la construction avancée des phrases...
The History of the United Kingdom is marked by the meeting of four different lands with different cultures : England, Wales, Scotland and Ireland. United Kingdom is in fact a sovereign country including these four regions, as we can see on the picture describing its forming.
Firstly a celt nation (dwelled by the Brittons) with the Wales, the country is conquered by the Roman Empire in 43. They finally leaved the island in 410, crumbling under the weight of Saxon invasions. The Brittons tried to resist, principally in Wales and Cornwall (it’s why the celt culture is more important in these regions). About the year 1000, the Norman invasions began and William the Conqueror got the England throne and replaced the Anglo-Saxon power. During this period, the laws are changed (the Common law) with elements of Norman law and a lot of french words are introduced, the Norman aristocracry speaking his language. In 1152, Henry II, already Count of Anjou and Count of Maine, married Eleanor of Aquitaine and became by the same Duke of Aquitaine, saddling at the head of a vast empire, more poweful than the French Kingdom : the Empire Plantagenet. His son, Richard I, took part in the Crusades, during which he was being dispossessed of the Aquitaine by the King of France. The barons revolt caused troubles throughout the kingdom and we must wait the year 1272 to see again a king, Edward I, in the country. His great-son Edward III, claiming the french throne after the heir’s death, launched into the Hundred Years’ War, who ended in 1453, after the English was pushed out. In 1536, the Acts of Union, decided by the king Henry VIII, unified Wales to England. In 1640, the power absolutism brang about the English Civil War and Richard Cromwell declare the republic. After his death, Charles II took the crown back and tried to restore the absolutism. In 1688, the Glorious Revolution established the constitutional monarchy. In 1707, another Acts of Union unified Scotland of England and Wales which formed the United Kingdom.
Merci
Dank U well
Gracias
Thanks
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 09-08-2011 16:41
Réponse: History of England de silky, postée le 10-08-2011 à 10:06:22 (S | E)
Bonjour GNORG
Je vais souligner en rouge certaines fautes. Quand vous les aurez corrigées, on y verra déjà plus clair et on continuera!On y va...
Firstly a celt nation (dwelled by the Brittons) with the Wales, the country is conquered by the Romans
Réponse: History of England de notrepere, postée le 10-08-2011 à 10:33:35 (S | E)
HelloThe History of the United Kingdom is marked by the meeting (1) of four different lands with different cultures : England, Wales, Scotland and Ireland. (2) United Kingdom is in fact a sovereign country including (3) these four regions, as we can see on the picture describing its forming (4).
(1) pas le meilleur mot
(2) Article manquant
(3) pronom + includes
(4) formation
Firstly a celt (5) nation (dwelled by (6) the Brittons (7)) with the (8) Wales, the country is conquered by the Roman Empire in 43 AD. They finally leaved (9) the island in 410 AD, crumbling under the weight of Saxon invasions. The Brittons tried to resist, principally in Wales and Cornwall (
(5) en forme d'un adjectif; il manque une majuscule
(6) construction bizarre; on ne dit pas 'dwelled by'
(7) orthographe
(8) sans article avant les noms des pays (il y a des exceptions: the United States; the United Kingdom; etc.)
(9) verbe irregulier
(10) pas courant; on dirais "Around AD 1000 ou Around 1000 AD; ou In about 1000 AD
(12) English throne ou throne of England
(13) mauvais pronom
Ca suffit pour le moment. Il reste d'autres problèmes dans votre texte mais il faut corriger ceux que j'ai signalés au-dessus.
Cordialement
Réponse: History of England de gnorgh, postée le 10-08-2011 à 12:52:05 (S | E)
The History of the United Kingdom is marked by the encounter
of four different lands with different cultures : England, Wales, Scotland and Ireland. The United Kingdom is in fact a sovereign country and includes these four regions, as we can see on the picture describing its formation.Firstly a Celtic nation (inhabited by the Britons) with Wales, the country was conquered by the Romans in 43 AD. They finally left the island in 410, crumbling under the weight of Saxon invasions. The Britons tried to resist, principally in Wales and Cornwall (this is why the Celtic culture is more important in these regions). Around 1000 AD, the Norman invasions began and William the Conqueror seized the throne of England and replaced the Anglo-Saxon power. During this period, the laws were changed (the Common law) with elements of Norman law and a lot of French words were introduced, the Norman aristocracry speaking his language. In 1152, Henry II, already Count of Anjou and Count of Maine, married Eleanor of Aquitaine and became thus Duke of Aquitaine, he was seen (? "Se voyant à la tête") at the head of a vast empire, that was more poweful than the French Kingdom : the Empire Plantagenet. His son, Richard I, took part in the Crusades, during which he was dispossessed of the Aquitaine by the King of France. The barons revolt caused troubles throughout the kingdom and we must wait until the year 1272 to see again a king, Edward I, in the country. His great-son Edward III, claiming the French throne after the heir’s death, launched into the Hundred Years’ War, which ended in 1453, after the English had been pushed out. In 1536, the Acts of Union, decided by the king Henry VIII, unified Wales to England. In 1640, the power absolutism brought about the English Civil War and Richard Cromwell declared the republic. After his death, Charles II took the crown back and tried to restore the absolutism. In 1688, the Glorious Revolution established the constitutional monarchy. In 1707, another Acts of Union unified Scotland to England and Wales which formed the United Kingdom.
Merci beaucoup, j'ai corrigé les fautes d'inattention évidentes. Mais il reste les deux tournures de phrases en vert auxquelles je n'arrive pas à trouver une traduction adéquate...
Réponse: History of England de notrepere, postée le 10-08-2011 à 22:09:55 (S | E)
Hello
Quel est le mot 'Celt' sous la forme d'un adjectif ?
Attention au temps des verbes. Il faut choisir entre le présent ou le passé mais pas les deux.
Réponse: History of England de silky, postée le 10-08-2011 à 22:55:19 (S | E)
Attention aussi à l'accord du sujet et du verbe par exemple dans cette phrase:
During this period, the laws was changed (the Common law) with elements of Norman law and a lot of french words was introduced,
Réponse: History of England de gnorgh, postée le 10-08-2011 à 23:21:15 (S | E)
@ notrepere : je ne comprends pas ta question, les deux "Celt" sont des adjectifs dans le texte.
Merci, j'ai corrigé quelques fautes. Il en reste sûrement encore...
Réponse: History of England de notrepere, postée le 11-08-2011 à 02:34:29 (S | E)
BonjourCelt est un nom, il faut trouver l'adjectif dérivé.
Réponse: History of England de gnorgh, postée le 11-08-2011 à 12:58:25 (S | E)
Bonjour,
Autant pour moi, c'est corrigé
Réponse: History of England de notrepere, postée le 11-08-2011 à 16:08:47 (S | E)
Bonjour“Si un travail vaut la peine d’être fait, autant le faire bien”
The History of the United Kingdom is marked by the encounter with four different lands with different cultures : England, Wales, Scotland and Ireland.
Firstly (1) a Celtic nation (inhabited by the Britons) with Wales, the country was conquered by the Romans in 43 AD. They finally left the island in 410 (2) AD, crumbling under the weight of Saxon invasions. The Britons tried to resist, principally in Wales and Cornwall (this is why the Celtic culture is more important in these regions). Around 1000 AD, the Norman invasions began and William the Conqueror seized the throne of England and replaced the Anglo-Saxon power. During this period, the laws were changed (the Common law) with elements of Norman law and a lot of French words were introduced, the Norman aristocracry (3) speaking his language. In 1152, Henry II, already Count of Anjou and Count of Maine, married Eleanor of Aquitaine and became thus Duke of Aquitaine, he was seen at the head of a vast empire, that was more poweful (3) than the French Kingdom : the Empire Plantagenet. His son, Richard I, took part in the Crusades, during which he was dispossessed of the [pas d'article] Aquitaine (4) by the King of France. The barons' revolt caused troubles throughout the kingdom and we must wait until the year 1272 to see again (5) a king, Edward I, in the country. His great-son (6) Edward III, claiming the French throne after the heir’s death, launched into the Hundred Years’ War, which ended in 1453, after the English had been pushed out. In 1536, the Acts of Union, decided (7) by the king Henry VIII, unified Wales to (8) England. In 1640, the power absolutism brought about the English Civil War and Richard Cromwell declared the republic. After his death, Charles II took the crown back and tried to restore the absolutism. In 1688, the Glorious Revolution established the constitutional monarchy. In 1707, another Acts of Union unified Scotland to (8) England and Wales which formed the United Kingdom.
(1) Il ne va pas. "Originally" est le bon mot. Firstly, Secondly, Thirdly, etc
(2) Especially for dates before 1000, always use "AD"
(3) orthographe
(4) A mon avis, la voix passive ne convient pas.
(5) mal placé
(6) vocabulaire à revoir
(7) pas le bon verbe
(8) pas la bonne préposition: with
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Modifié par notrepere le 11-08-2011 16:09
Réponse: History of England de gnorgh, postée le 11-08-2011 à 17:02:48 (S | E)
Merci beaucoup notrepere.
The History of the United Kingdom is marked by the encounter with four different lands with different cultures : England, Wales, Scotland and Ireland. The United Kingdom is in fact a sovereign country and includes these four regions, as we can see on the picture describing its formation.
Originally a Celtic nation (inhabited by the Britons) with Wales, the country was conquered by the Romans in 43 AD. They finally left the island in 410 AD, crumbling under the weight of Saxon invasions. The Britons tried to resist, principally in Wales and Cornwall (this is why the Celtic culture is more important in these regions). Around 1000 AD, the Norman invasions began and William the Conqueror seized the throne of England and replaced the Anglo-Saxon power. During this period, the laws were changed (the Common law) with elements of Norman law and a lot of French words were introduced, the Norman aristocracy speaking his language. In 1152, Henry II, already Count of Anjou and Count of Maine, married Eleanor of Aquitaine and became thus Duke of Aquitaine, he was seen at the head of a vast empire, that was more powerful than the French Kingdom : the Empire Plantagenet. His son, Richard I, took part in the Crusades, during which he was dispossessed of Aquitaine by the King of France. During this period, the barons revolt caused troubles throughout the kingdom and we must wait until the year 1272 to see a king again, Edward I, in the country. His grandson Edward III, claiming the French throne after the heir’s death, launched into the Hundred Years’ War, which ended in 1453, after the English had been pushed out. In 1536, the Acts of Union, decided by the king Henry VIII, unified Wales with England. In 1640, the power absolutism brought about the English Civil War and Richard Cromwell declared the republic. After his death, Charles II took the crown back and tried to restore the absolutism but, in 1688, the Glorious Revolution established the constitutional monarchy. In 1707, another Acts of Union unified Scotland with England and Wales which formed the United Kingdom.
Je mettrai mon devoir entier en pdf sur ce topic dès que j'aurai terminé si ça vous intéresse.
J'ai déjà terminé ma fiche de civilisation sur l'Irlande. Elle est disponible à cette adresse : Lien Internet
Je ne vous demande pas de tout corrigé, bien évidemment, juste de lire si vous en avez l'envie, et de me préciser les points important de grammaire où j'ai pu faire des erreurs.
Merci beaucoup tout le monde ! Have a good holiday.
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