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Correction/14 juillet
Message de rulna posté le 17-07-2011 à 23:09:13 (S | E | F)
Bonjour, voilà mon nouveau texte.
Pourriez-vous relever mes fautes s'il vous plaît? =)
"The Bastille Day"
Today, it's the fourteenth of July that is to say it's the French National Day. We all know that there will be a parade opens with the military parade at 12 noon and the fireworks and the Eiffel Tower illumination at Midnight. But, do we all know what and why we celebrate this day? To answer these questions, we have to travel through time and come back about two centuries before our days.
5th May, 1789
The Estates-General gathered at Versailles. They were created to resolve the Estate problems and were divided into three parts: The Clergy, the Nobility and the Third Estate. The first two were at an advantaged by far compared with the Third Estate, which consisted of 80% of French people. That's why the Third Estate deputies wanted to abolish the absolute monarchy and establish a Constitution. But the King was supported by the Clergy and the Nobility and didn't want to lose his power, so these two propositions were rejected.
20th June, 1789
The Third Estate swore to not break up before the creation of a new French Government.
The King gave up eventually. He allowed the deputies to write a Constitution and since then, the Estates-General formed the National Constituent Assembly. But soon, the King regretted his acts and decided to overthrow the Assembly by force.
14th July, 1789
Thousands of Parisian in need of weapons invaded the Bastille with the thought this old forteress hid them.
The French Revolution began.
After the Storming of the Bastille, bourgeoises, artisans and peasants rebelled against their lord in all France regions.
5th August, 1789
The Assembly began to write the new Constitution. It abolished the Nobility and the Clergy's privileges, henceforth, French were proclaimed equal.
15th August, 1789
The Declaration of the Rights of Man and of the Citizen passed. It stipulates that French were born equal and free.
The fourteenth of July 1790, the Fête de la Fédération celebrated the Storming of the Bastille first birthday. And each year, on the same day, we celebrate this day to remind us how hard it was to get freedom and equality.
Merci d'avance!
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Modifié par rulna le 17-07-2011 23:09
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Modifié par lucile83 le 18-07-2011 07:36
titre
Message de rulna posté le 17-07-2011 à 23:09:13 (S | E | F)
Bonjour, voilà mon nouveau texte.
Pourriez-vous relever mes fautes s'il vous plaît? =)
"The Bastille Day"
Today, it's the fourteenth of July that is to say it's the French National Day. We all know that there will be a parade opens with the military parade at 12 noon and the fireworks and the Eiffel Tower illumination at Midnight. But, do we all know what and why we celebrate this day? To answer these questions, we have to travel through time and come back about two centuries before our days.
5th May, 1789
The Estates-General gathered at Versailles. They were created to resolve the Estate problems and were divided into three parts: The Clergy, the Nobility and the Third Estate. The first two were at an advantaged by far compared with the Third Estate, which consisted of 80% of French people. That's why the Third Estate deputies wanted to abolish the absolute monarchy and establish a Constitution. But the King was supported by the Clergy and the Nobility and didn't want to lose his power, so these two propositions were rejected.
20th June, 1789
The Third Estate swore to not break up before the creation of a new French Government.
The King gave up eventually. He allowed the deputies to write a Constitution and since then, the Estates-General formed the National Constituent Assembly. But soon, the King regretted his acts and decided to overthrow the Assembly by force.
14th July, 1789
Thousands of Parisian in need of weapons invaded the Bastille with the thought this old forteress hid them.
The French Revolution began.
After the Storming of the Bastille, bourgeoises, artisans and peasants rebelled against their lord in all France regions.
5th August, 1789
The Assembly began to write the new Constitution. It abolished the Nobility and the Clergy's privileges, henceforth, French were proclaimed equal.
15th August, 1789
The Declaration of the Rights of Man and of the Citizen passed. It stipulates that French were born equal and free.
The fourteenth of July 1790, the Fête de la Fédération celebrated the Storming of the Bastille first birthday. And each year, on the same day, we celebrate this day to remind us how hard it was to get freedom and equality.
Merci d'avance!
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Modifié par rulna le 17-07-2011 23:09
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Modifié par lucile83 le 18-07-2011 07:36
titre
Réponse: Correction/14 juillet de notrepere, postée le 18-07-2011 à 07:14:00 (S | E)
Hello"The (1) Bastille Day"
Today, it's the fourteenth of July (that is to say it's) (2) the French National Day. We all know that there will be a parade opens with (3) the military parade at 12 noon and the fireworks and the Eiffel Tower illumination at Midnight. But, do we all know what and (4) why we celebrate this day? To answer these questions, we have to travel through time and come (5) back about two centuries before our days (6).
(1) pas de 'the' Lien Internet
(2) mots superflus: Today is the fourteenth of July which is the French National Day or "Bastille Day".
(3) Voulez-vous dire "beginning with" or "commencing with"?
(4) Il faut expliquer le mot 'what' ou le supprimer. But, do we all know why we celebrate this day? But do we all know what this day signifies and why we celebrate this day?
(5) Il faut le verbe 'go'.
(6) C'est mot à mot du français (de nos jours). On peut dire: before the present time.
5th May 1789
The Estates-General gathered at Versailles. They were created to resolve the Estate problems and were divided into three parts: The Clergy, the Nobility and the Third Estate. The first two were at an advantaged (7) by far compared with the Third Estate, which consisted of 80% of French people (8). That's why the Third Estate deputies wanted to abolish the absolute monarchy and establish a Constitution. But the King was supported by the Clergy and the Nobility and didn't want to lose his power, so these two propositions were rejected.
(7) L'expression en anglais est "to be at an advantage/disadvantage" (pas de 'd'). "to be disadvantaged" veut dire quelque chose de complètement différent.
(8) Il faut dire 'the French population'. French people refers to nationality. The population refers to people in general.
4th July 1789
Thousands of Parisian (9) in need of weapons invaded the Bastille with the thought this old (10) forteress hid them. The French Revolution began.
After the Storming of the Bastille, bourgeoises (11), artisans and peasants rebelled against their lord (9) in all France regions (12).
(9) au pluriel
(10) A thought or a belief? invaded the Bastille because they believed that this old ...
(11) orthographe
(12) ordre des mots: regions of France
5th August 1789
The Assembly began to write the new Constitution. It abolished the Nobility and the Clergy's privileges, henceforth, (13) French were proclaimed equal.
(13) article manquant
15th August, 1789
The Declaration of the Rights of Man and of the Citizen passed. It stipulates that French (14) were (15) born equal and free.
(14) French people ou the French
(15) accorde du temps: (stipulates) present + (were) past
It stipulates that French people are born equal ou It stipulated that French people were born equal.
The fourteenth of July 1790, the Fête de la Fédération celebrated the Storming of the Bastille first birthday (16). And each year, on the same day, we celebrate this day to remind us how hard it was to get freedom and equality.
(16) On dirait 'first anniversary of' et mettez avant 'Storming'
Réponse: Correction/14 juillet de rulna, postée le 20-07-2011 à 22:51:15 (S | E)
Bonjour!
Merci d'avoir relevé mes fautes
J'ai quelques questions :D
(1) pas de 'the'
On enlève le 'The' de Bastille Day car c'est un événement? Si c'est le cas, pourquoi met-on un "The" pour the Second War
(3) Voulez-vous dire "beginning with" or "commencing with"?
Je voulais dire : there will be a parade (that) opens. Il y aura la parade qui s'ouvre avec le défilé militaire puis les feux d'artifice.
(6) C'est mot à mot du français (de nos jours). On peut dire: before the present time.
Mais peut-on dire Before our days?
(10) A thought or a belief? invaded the Bastille because they believed that this old ...
Hmm, c'étaient des rumeurs qui disaient que la Bastille contenaient des armes donc thought serait plus approprié
On dirait alors invaded the Bastille with the thought ou with a thought?
Merci d'avance :D
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Modifié par lucile83 le 20-07-2011 23:08
Réponse: Correction/14 juillet de notrepere, postée le 21-07-2011 à 01:31:16 (S | E)
Hello(1)
Yes, before numbers, you use "the".
The second World War.
World War I, World War II.
The fourth of July (U.S. Independence day)
July 4th
Independence Day
(3) "a parade opens" me semble bizarre. The parade begins with the ... The parade commences with ....
(6) On peut dire ce que l'on veut mais cette expression n'est pas entendue en anglais.
On entend "in our time" "in our generation" mais dans le contexte on dirait "before now", "before the present time", ou simplement "go back about two centuries" [point] 
La dernière proposition est celle que je préfère. (10) 'because they thought' est la meilleure construction et plus claire à mon avis. L'expression "with the thought of" ne va pas dans le contexte. "with the thought of" implies an intention of doing something. They did this with the thought of (with the intention of) stealing some weapons.
J'espère vous avoir aidé un peu.
Réponse: Correction/14 juillet de rulna, postée le 24-07-2011 à 11:25:53 (S | E)
"Bastille Day"
Today, it's the fourteenth of July which is the French National Day. We all know that there will be a parade beginning with the military parade at 12 noon and the fireworks and the Eiffel Tower illumination at midnight. But, do we all know what is this day and why do we celebrate this day? To answer these questions, we have to travel through time and go back about two centuries (before the present time.)
5th May 1789
The Estates-General gathered at Versailles. They were created to resolve the Estate problems and were divided into three parts: The Clergy, the Nobility and the Third Estate. The first two were at an advantage by far compared with the Third Estate, which consisted of 80% of the French population. That's why the Third Estate deputies wanted to abolish the absolute monarchy and establish a Constitution. But the King was supported by the Clergy and the Nobility and didn't want to lose his power, so these two propositions were rejected.
20th June 1789
The Third Estate swore to not break up before the creation of a new French Government.
The King gave up eventually. He allowed the deputies to write a Constitution and since then, the Estates-General formed the National Constituent Assembly. But soon, the King regretted his acts and decided to overthrow the Assembly by force.
14th July 1789
Thousands of Parisians in need of weapons invaded the Bastille because they thought this old forteress hid them.
The French Revolution began.
After the Storming of the Bastille, bourgeois, artisans and peasants rebelled against their lords in all regions of France.
5th August 1789
The Assembly began to write the new Constitution. It abolished the Nobility and the Clergy's privileges, henceforth, French were proclaimed equal.
15th August, 1789
The Declaration of the Rights of Man and of the Citizen passed. It stipulates that the French are born equal and free.
The fourteenth of July 1790, the Fête de la Fédération celebrated the first anniversary of the Storming of the Bastille. And each year, on the same day, we celebrate this day to remind us how hard it was to get freedom and equality.
Thanks for you help! :D
Since I'm going on holiday tomorrow, I won't be able to post until the end of August.
So have a nice holiday!
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