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IELTS/ practising
Message de elasista posté le 21-05-2011 à 15:24:12 (S | E | F)
Hello,
In two weeks, Iwill pass am taking my IELTS exam.
However I still need to practise my writing.
Could you please help me and proofread my text?
Thank you for your answers.
here is the Topic: In some countries, young people often decide to work or travel for a time before they start their university studies.Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of doing this. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.
Nowadays, young people are freer than it used to be a couple of years ago. Usually, they finish the high school at the age of 18. Once they have their high school diploma, they have two opportunities: either to carry on their studies or to take a break in order to travel or to work.
More and more young people decide to work or to travel in some countries. This chooses have as much advantages as disadvantages. They are several advantages to take a break for a moment. First, some young people don’t know yet which subjects to choose at the university, instead of making the wrong choose and to study something they may not like, It is better for them to work or travel before making this important choose. Secondly, as you know, travelling is a good way to grow. During this break, they can go abroad in order to learn a new language and to work. Year-round, they could work and meet people. This will help them to become more mature.
Even through, the advantages are many; we also have to take in consideration the fact that: Some young people could decide to not go back to school after doing this year off for different reasons, for instance: They do not want to be any more financially dependent of their parents, they do not see the purpose of going back to study and they lost the motivation of going to university.
To conclude, young people, once they are over 18, have to opportunity to choose between having a break or to carry on their study. I think that having a break and going abroad in order to learn new things and to work is a really good way to become independent and more mature.
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Edited by lucile83 on 21-05-2011 16:18
+ forum
Message de elasista posté le 21-05-2011 à 15:24:12 (S | E | F)
Hello,
In two weeks, I
However I still need to practise my writing.
Could you please help me and proofread my text?
Thank you for your answers.
here is the Topic: In some countries, young people often decide to work or travel for a time before they start their university studies.Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of doing this. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.
Nowadays, young people are freer than it used to be a couple of years ago. Usually, they finish the high school at the age of 18. Once they have their high school diploma, they have two opportunities: either to carry on their studies or to take a break in order to travel or to work.
More and more young people decide to work or to travel in some countries. This chooses have as much advantages as disadvantages. They are several advantages to take a break for a moment. First, some young people don’t know yet which subjects to choose at the university, instead of making the wrong choose and to study something they may not like, It is better for them to work or travel before making this important choose. Secondly, as you know, travelling is a good way to grow. During this break, they can go abroad in order to learn a new language and to work. Year-round, they could work and meet people. This will help them to become more mature.
Even through, the advantages are many; we also have to take in consideration the fact that: Some young people could decide to not go back to school after doing this year off for different reasons, for instance: They do not want to be any more financially dependent of their parents, they do not see the purpose of going back to study and they lost the motivation of going to university.
To conclude, young people, once they are over 18, have to opportunity to choose between having a break or to carry on their study. I think that having a break and going abroad in order to learn new things and to work is a really good way to become independent and more mature.
-------------------
Edited by lucile83 on 21-05-2011 16:18
+ forum
Réponse: IELTS/ practising de gerondif, postée le 21-05-2011 à 17:55:33 (S | E)
Bonjour,
tapez "grand tour" sur google et l'article de wikipédia vous montrera que les artistes anglais en étaient adeptes.(un petit rappel historique et un petit coup de "used to" pourraient vous donner des lignes en plus)
J'ai rencontré pendant mes années "auberges de jeunesse" britanniques et irlandaises de nombreux américains, australiens, neo-zélandais et autres qui partaient en année sabbatique faire leur grand tour moderne.
Nos années d'assistant pour les professeurs de langues jouent un peu le même rôle.
Vous pourriez penser aussi au programme "Erasmus" cf "l'auberge espagnole".....
Nowadays, young people are freer than it used to be a couple of years ago. Usually, they finish the high school at the age of 18. Once they have their high school diploma, they have two opportunities: either to carry on with their studies or to take a break in order to travel or to work.
More and more young people decide to work or to travel in some countries(maladroit : abroad). This chooses (le nom est choice)have as much advantages as disadvantages. They (il y a)are several advantages (in + ing)to take a break for a moment.(Cela fait quand même beaucoup de lignes avant d'aborder le sujet) First, some young people don’t know yet which subjects to choose at the university,)instead of making the wrong choose and (instead of + ing)to study something they may not like, It is better for them to work or travel before making this important choose. Secondly, as you know, travelling is a good way to grow. During this break, they can go abroad in order to learn a new language and to work. Year-round, they could work and meet people. This will help them to become more mature.
(là, on ne se rend pas compte immédiatement que vous passez au côté negatif, à cause de votre ponctuation)
Even through, the advantages are many; we also have to take in (into)consideration the fact that: Some young people could decide to not go back to school after doing this year off for different reasons, for instance: They do not want to be financially dependent of their parents any more , they do not see the purpose of going back to study(ing) and they lost the motivation of(for) going to university.
To conclude, young people, once they are over 18, have to opportunity to choose between having a break or (le premier élément était en ing)to carry on their study.(oui, mais ça, on le savait! il serait mieux de dire que, malgré le fait que certains pourraient être tentés de ne pas retourner à leurs études, vous pensez quand même que c'est bien de s'offrir une année sabbatique) I think that having a break and going abroad in order to learn new things and to work is a really good way to become independent and more mature.
Réponse: IELTS/ practising de elasista, postée le 21-05-2011 à 18:32:16 (S | E)
Thank you so much, I can see that I don't make a lot of mistakes.
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