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Describing people
Message de zelouth posté le 09-05-2011 à 18:06:52 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
J'ai une expression écrite à faire sur "être capable de rédiger un texte narratif et descriptif autour d'une personne".
On doit inventer quelque chose d'original, mais j'ai vraiment du mal à corriger mes fautes de grammaire et je ne sais pas toujours à quel temps conjuguer mes verbes...
Est-ce que quelqu'un pourrait m'aider s'il vous plaît?
Merci pour vos réponses.
Voici mon texte pour le moment :
Strange history of an abnormal teenager
This is my sister. She’s two years older than me, but she is shorter. She’s only 1m68 tall. She’s really slim because she’s a sportswoman and so she usually runs, but she also has big legs because she rides our horses.
I think it’s a pretty girl. She’s got little blue eyes and a warm smile. She’s got cute freckles on her cheeks. She’s got a lot of long wavy blonde hair and except the color, it’s a natural hair. She’s got a fringe to hide something. If she cuts her hair, we can see that she has a scar.
It’s because of our brother, when he was young; he often plays with a knife because he wanted to become a butcher. One day, after watching Harry Potter, he decided to do like Voldemort on his sister. (He didn’t like her very much, he was a bit jealous).
Dounia has hardly ever a ponytail (except on the photo). Why? Because she hasn’t got ears like everyone. She’s been kidnapped by aliens after the accident with our brother because of the scar, they thought that she was one of them. When they discovered what happened they were very angry and they gave a memory of them to my sister; now she’s got ears like nobody else.
It’s a part of the story of my sister, she isn’t very lucky as you can see. It happened many others incredible adventures to her, but she wants to forget it and so she doesn’t like to talk about herself. It’s one of the reasons why she’s a bit shy.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 09-05-2011 18:34
Message de zelouth posté le 09-05-2011 à 18:06:52 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
J'ai une expression écrite à faire sur "être capable de rédiger un texte narratif et descriptif autour d'une personne".
On doit inventer quelque chose d'original, mais j'ai vraiment du mal à corriger mes fautes de grammaire et je ne sais pas toujours à quel temps conjuguer mes verbes...
Est-ce que quelqu'un pourrait m'aider s'il vous plaît?
Merci pour vos réponses.
Voici mon texte pour le moment :
Strange history of an abnormal teenager
This is my sister. She’s two years older than me, but she is shorter. She’s only 1m68 tall. She’s really slim because she’s a sportswoman and so she usually runs, but she also has big legs because she rides our horses.
I think it’s a pretty girl. She’s got little blue eyes and a warm smile. She’s got cute freckles on her cheeks. She’s got a lot of long wavy blonde hair and except the color, it’s a natural hair. She’s got a fringe to hide something. If she cuts her hair, we can see that she has a scar.
It’s because of our brother, when he was young; he often plays with a knife because he wanted to become a butcher. One day, after watching Harry Potter, he decided to do like Voldemort on his sister. (He didn’t like her very much, he was a bit jealous).
Dounia has hardly ever a ponytail (except on the photo). Why? Because she hasn’t got ears like everyone. She’s been kidnapped by aliens after the accident with our brother because of the scar, they thought that she was one of them. When they discovered what happened they were very angry and they gave a memory of them to my sister; now she’s got ears like nobody else.
It’s a part of the story of my sister, she isn’t very lucky as you can see. It happened many others incredible adventures to her, but she wants to forget it and so she doesn’t like to talk about herself. It’s one of the reasons why she’s a bit shy.
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 09-05-2011 18:34
Réponse: Describing people de gerondif, postée le 09-05-2011 à 18:36:32 (S | E)
Bonjour,
je vois que vous aimez bien votre soeur, sans doute flattée par ce portrait qu'elle va bien prendre !
Strange history of an abnormal teenager
(vous montrez donc la photo et vous dites: )
This is my sister. She’s two years older than me, but she is shorter. She’s only 1m68 tall. She’s really slim because she’s a sportswoman and so she usually runs(she often goes running/jogging, collerait mieux à ce que vous voulez dire), but she also has big legs because she rides our horses.
I think it’s a pretty girl. She’s got little blue eyes and a warm smile. She’s got cute freckles on her cheeks. She’s got a lot of(beaucoup de ? j'aurais peut-être dit épais) long wavy blond(e) hair and except for the color, it’s a natural hair. She’s got a fringe to hide something. If she cuts her hair, we can see that she has a scar.
It’s because of our brother: when he was young, he often plays(préterit) with a knife because he wanted to become a butcher. One day, after watching Harry Potter, he decided to do like Voldemort on his sister. (He didn’t like her very much, he was a bit jealous).
Dounia hardly ever has a ponytail (except on the photo). Why? Because she hasn’t got ears like everyone else. She’s been(was si l'action est datée) kidnapped by aliens after the accident with our brother because of the scar, they thought that she was one of them. When they discovered what had happened(ce qui avait eu lieu, passé antérieur) they were very angry and they gave a memory(souvenir dans votre cerveau, a souvenir est un objet , quelque chose qui vous fait vous souvenir: they gave her a souvenir (to remember them by)) of them to my sister; now she’s got ears like nobody else.
It’s a part of the story of my sister, she isn’t very lucky as you can see. It happened (mal placé, mettez le verbe "happened" derrière le sujet "adventures")many others incredible adventures to her, but she wants to forget it(adventures est pluriel) and so she doesn’t like to talk about herself. It’s one of the reasons why she’s a bit shy.
Votre texte est amusant par ailleurs et pas mal écrit: good luck !
Réponse: Describing people de zelouth, postée le 09-05-2011 à 18:58:26 (S | E)
Merci beaucoup!
Et ne vous inquiétez pas pour ma soeur, on est complices toutes les deux.
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