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Expression écrite
Message de izzylein posté le 26-03-2011 à 21:25:07 (S | E | F)
Bonjour à tous,
Je dois rendre un texte d´expression écrite et je souhaiterais avoir quelques conseils pour l´améliorer. Je dois quand même dire que le thème de la lecon est l´utilisation du past perfect -preterite- past perfect continuous
( mon niveau est débutant)
Le sujet : --- You have decided you would like to work for a voluntary organisation ( The samaritans).Write a letter to the organisation explaining something about yourself and your reasons and qualifications(if any) for wanting helping ----
Dear sir or madam
.................
.................
I am 35 yaers old and actually i work in a helping group of the church St-Marie .For 2 years ago I lost my lovely son.Jason was 6 years old .It had taken me exactly more than one year to take blows.Until a few months I could die of a broken heart.Jason was my one.I have no siblings my parents are dead .I drowned my sorrow with alcohol and drugs .I had reached the point of no-return when I thought of suicid.And then I met Sonia. I used to meet her at the metro .Nora was the right person at the right time .She only had been staying there with me and listened to me when i was talking about my little boy Jason .
Trought this experience i think that i am the right personn to support people who are on a emotional distress or those who may be feeling suicid.
I know what this feeling means.I ve beeb throught this simalar experience and I know exactly what those distressed personns need to hear.Time by time I have developped the hability to listen and the facility to encourage people to tell what´s wrong with them.
I would like to work in your samaritans organisation .I have an open mind and i am abble to offer emotional and confidential support .
I hope to hear of you soon
yours sincerly
..........
Merci d´avance pour votre aide.
izzylein
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Modifié par lucile83 le 26-03-2011 21:36
Message de izzylein posté le 26-03-2011 à 21:25:07 (S | E | F)
Bonjour à tous,
Je dois rendre un texte d´expression écrite et je souhaiterais avoir quelques conseils pour l´améliorer. Je dois quand même dire que le thème de la lecon est l´utilisation du past perfect -preterite- past perfect continuous
( mon niveau est débutant)Le sujet : --- You have decided you would like to work for a voluntary organisation ( The samaritans).Write a letter to the organisation explaining something about yourself and your reasons and qualifications(if any) for wanting helping ----
Dear sir or madam
.................
.................
I am 35 yaers old and actually i work in a helping group of the church St-Marie .For 2 years ago I lost my lovely son.Jason was 6 years old .It had taken me exactly more than one year to take blows.Until a few months I could die of a broken heart.Jason was my one.I have no siblings my parents are dead .I drowned my sorrow with alcohol and drugs .I had reached the point of no-return when I thought of suicid.And then I met Sonia. I used to meet her at the metro .Nora was the right person at the right time .She only had been staying there with me and listened to me when i was talking about my little boy Jason .
Trought this experience i think that i am the right personn to support people who are on a emotional distress or those who may be feeling suicid.
I know what this feeling means.I ve beeb throught this simalar experience and I know exactly what those distressed personns need to hear.Time by time I have developped the hability to listen and the facility to encourage people to tell what´s wrong with them.
I would like to work in your samaritans organisation .I have an open mind and i am abble to offer emotional and confidential support .
I hope to hear of you soon
yours sincerly
..........
Merci d´avance pour votre aide.
izzylein
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 26-03-2011 21:36
Réponse: Expression écrite de notrepere, postée le 26-03-2011 à 23:30:26 (S | E)
I am 35 yaers (1) old and actually (2) I work in a helping group of the church St-Marie (3). For 2 years ago, I lost my lovely son Jason. (4) was 6 years old. It had (5) taken me exactly (6) more than one year to take blows (7). Until a few months I could die of a broken heart. Jason was my one. (8) I have no siblings my parents are dead (9). I drowned my sorrows with alcohol and drugs. I had reached the point of no-return when I thought of suicid (1). And then I met Sonia. I used to meet her at the metro. Nora was the right person at the right time. She only had been staying there with me and listened to me when I was talking about my little boy Jason.
Trought (1) this experience, I think (10) that I am (5) the right personn (1) to support people who are
I know what this feeling
I would like to work in your
I hope to hear
yours sincerly (1)
En rouge = à supprimer
En rose = Qui est Nora ?
(1) orthographe
(2) A mettre entre le sujet et le verbe
(3) ordre des mots
(4) pronom manquant
(5) temps à revoir
(6) on dit 'exactly' ou 'more than' mais pas les deux
(7) mal dit
(8) phrases à refaire
(9) deux phrases complètes; il faut une conjonction entre elles.
(10) autre verbe tel que 'discover'
(12) en forme d'un adjectif
(13) pluriel de 'person' est 'people'
(14) expression pas exacte: time after time
(15) ce mot n'existe pas; voulez-vous dire 'habit of'?
(16) forme +ing
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Modifié par notrepere le 26-03-2011 23:37
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