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Correction-Internet
Message de andaskape posté le 10-03-2011 à 12:07:55 (S | E | F)
Hi Hello,!
Pourriez-vous me corriger cet exercice s'il vous plait ? (et même peut-être m'aider à condenser certaines phrases?)
Merci pour vos réponses.
Since some years, the Internet is become a socialization place where surfers are able to exchange. Moreover there isn't the geographical proximity contraint to be able to talk with people.
On the one hand, the Internet afford to people to keep contact in spite of the distance and to make friends all around the world thanks to social utility (Messenger, Facebook). So we can chat with people we don't know and make pals without have met them in the reality. 80
On the other hand, meets on the Net are very short-lived : we can meet a lot of people, but it is hard to discover real affinity with a new contact. That's why meets can't go on. Moreover, people don't understand the difference between the real life and the virtual life : have a friend on the Net is not have a real friend. So yes, the Internet is a way to meet people but to the detriment of classic meetings : the Internet surfers are more open-minded in the virtual sphere and can close up in the real world.
(177 words)
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Modifié par andaskape le 10-03-2011 12:08
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Modifié par lucile83 le 11-03-2011 06:08
Message de andaskape posté le 10-03-2011 à 12:07:55 (S | E | F)
Pourriez-vous me corriger cet exercice s'il vous plait ? (et même peut-être m'aider à condenser certaines phrases?)
Merci pour vos réponses.
Since some years, the Internet is become a socialization place where surfers are able to exchange. Moreover there isn't the geographical proximity contraint to be able to talk with people.
On the one hand, the Internet afford to people to keep contact in spite of the distance and to make friends all around the world thanks to social utility (Messenger, Facebook). So we can chat with people we don't know and make pals without have met them in the reality. 80
On the other hand, meets on the Net are very short-lived : we can meet a lot of people, but it is hard to discover real affinity with a new contact. That's why meets can't go on. Moreover, people don't understand the difference between the real life and the virtual life : have a friend on the Net is not have a real friend. So yes, the Internet is a way to meet people but to the detriment of classic meetings : the Internet surfers are more open-minded in the virtual sphere and can close up in the real world.
(177 words)
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Modifié par andaskape le 10-03-2011 12:08
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Modifié par lucile83 le 11-03-2011 06:08
Réponse: Correction-Internet de notrepere, postée le 11-03-2011 à 03:59:16 (S | E)
HelloSince (1) some years, the Internet is (2) become a socialization place where surfers are able to exchange ******(3). Moreover there isn't the geographical proximity constraint (4) to be able to talk with people.
On the one hand, the Internet afford (10) to people to keep (6) contact in spite of the distance and to make friends all around the world thanks to social utility (Messenger, Facebook). So we can chat with people we don't know and make pals without have (8) met them in the reality. 80
On the other hand, meets on the Net are very short-lived : we can meet a lot of people, but it is hard to discover real affinity with a new contact. That's why meets can't go on (4). Moreover, people don't understand the difference between the (5) real life and the (5) virtual life : have (8) a friend on the Net is not ***** ***** ***** (9) have (8) a real friend. So yes, the Internet is a way to meet people but to the detriment of classic meetings (7) : the Internet surfers are more open-minded in the virtual sphere and can close up in the real world.
(1) depuis = for, since
(2) temps à revoir
(3) exchange quoi?
(4) un peu mot à mot du français: il n'y pas de... essayez de refaire cette phrase comme: Moreover, the geographical proximity constraint...
(5) mots superflus
(6) il manque une préposition (expression idiomatique): Lien Internet
(7) ces mots ne vont pas
(8) gérondif
(9) trois mots manquants (le même que)
(10) pas le bon verbe dans le contexte; on peut dire: affords people the opportunity to ou il faut un autre verbe
Réponse: Correction-Internet de andaskape, postée le 11-03-2011 à 13:01:53 (S | E)
Merci beaucoup !
Voici la correction :
For some years, the Internet has been become a socialization place where surfers are able to talk. Moreover, the geographical proximity constraint don't prevent to be able to talk with people.
On the one hand, the Internet affords people the opportunity to keep in contact in spite of the distance and to make friends all around the world thanks to social utility (Messenger, Facebook). So we can chat with people we don't know and make pals without having met them in the reality.
On the other hand, meets on the Net are very short-lived : we can meet a lot of people, but it is hard to discover real affinity with a new contact. That's why meets can't go on (4). Moreover, people don't understand the difference between real life and virtual life : having a friend on the Net is not the same that having a real friend.
So yes, the Internet is a way to meet people but to the detriment of real meets : the Internet surfers are more open-minded in the virtual sphere and can close up in the real world.
Est-ce correct maintenant ?
Réponse: Correction-Internet de notrepere, postée le 11-03-2011 à 15:27:00 (S | E)
HelloCiel! J'ai manqué quelques fautes, mais votre texte est mieux.
For some years, the Internet has
On the one hand, the Internet affords people the opportunity to keep in contact in spite of the distance and to make friends all around the world thanks to social utility (ce mot ne va pas) (Messenger, Facebook). So we can chat with people we don't know and make pals without having met them in the (à supprimer) reality (bizarrre: generally you meet people "in person").
On the other hand, meets (un autre mot) on the Net are very short-lived : we can meet a lot of people, but it is hard to discover real affinity with a new contact. That's why meets (un autre mot) can't go on (4). Moreover, people don't understand the difference between real life and virtual life : having a friend on the Net is not the same
So yes, the Internet is a way to meet people but to the detriment of real meets (un autre mot) : the Internet surfers are more open-minded in the virtual sphere and can close up in the real world.
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Modifié par notrepere le 11-03-2011 15:27
Réponse: Correction-Internet de andaskape, postée le 12-03-2011 à 19:38:28 (S | E)
Thanks!
-Moreover, the geographical proximity constraint doesn't prevent you from being able to talk with people.
-make friends all around the world thanks to social sites
-without having met them in person
-On the other hand, meetings
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