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Rédaction, fautes de syntaxe
Message de mansfield posté le 09-03-2011 à 16:19:52 (S | E | F)
Salut Bonjour,
j'ai écrit une rédaction d'anglais, et j'aimerais savoir si j'ai fait des fautes de syntaxe car c'est mon principal défaut.
Merci à ceux qui auront le courage de corriger mes fautes..
Histoire : Fritzi 26 ans écrit à Paul sont meilleur ami. Elle relate son altercation avec son père d'avant son départ, puis parle de sa nouvelle vie, à New York. Elle évoque ses sentiments et ses impressions, ses rencontres, mais aussi le job qu'elle a réussi à trouver dans un théâtre : c'était son rêve en partant de chez ses parents (Chicago).
Dear Paul,
I hope you're fine and I want you know I often think to you.
I was selted in New York since six month. I should have wroten to you before (j'aurais dû t'écrire plus tôt) but I didn't had time, sorry. Anyway, everything is good.
When I have said to my father my idea, he reply he didn't approve of my choice. He was full of stereotypes, he said Carl was a man and it maked a difference. It's an opinion of the XIX isn't it ? I tried make him has a change of heart but he sticked to one's guns. My father told me New York was a fithy and it was dangerous for a single woman but I managed to leave of overthere. Morover, he has sent me a letter next month, he demanded I come back to home. In a word.. I didn't answer to him because I'm up to one's eyeballs !
Two first month I was unemployed but all the days I walked round theater in order to become an actress. Two month ago I received a letter which annouced me I'm admissed. When I saw "admiss" I had tears in one's eyes : I was over the moon. So I was played at "Dejazet Theater" since one month.
Next week I met Jason Passavant, the director. I had an audition. He said me "Make me cry!" So I played a young woman who wants to leave her country in order to be independant; but her father being a despot she can't.. I even managed to cry because I was thinking to my quarrel with dady. So he said he wanted me, and asked me how old was I. I replied I was twenty-six. He smiled. He disappeared into his office and came back with a paper and a pen. He desired to enter into an agreement.
I'm so happy in my new life, sometimes I wonder how I did in Chicago...
I live in a attic but I don't care : neighbour is so sympathic ! He's thirty years old and he is painter. He works in a prestigious Art school but his salary is ridiculous. Sometimes we go to the cinema together. think I've a soft spot for him..I go whichever way the wind blows !
I hope to receive your answer soon, I miss you too much Hugo,
I kiss you.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 09-03-2011 21:14
Message de mansfield posté le 09-03-2011 à 16:19:52 (S | E | F)
j'ai écrit une rédaction d'anglais, et j'aimerais savoir si j'ai fait des fautes de syntaxe car c'est mon principal défaut.
Merci à ceux qui auront le courage de corriger mes fautes..
Histoire : Fritzi 26 ans écrit à Paul sont meilleur ami. Elle relate son altercation avec son père d'avant son départ, puis parle de sa nouvelle vie, à New York. Elle évoque ses sentiments et ses impressions, ses rencontres, mais aussi le job qu'elle a réussi à trouver dans un théâtre : c'était son rêve en partant de chez ses parents (Chicago).
Dear Paul,
I hope you're fine and I want you know I often think to you.
I was selted in New York since six month. I should have wroten to you before (j'aurais dû t'écrire plus tôt) but I didn't had time, sorry. Anyway, everything is good.
When I have said to my father my idea, he reply he didn't approve of my choice. He was full of stereotypes, he said Carl was a man and it maked a difference. It's an opinion of the XIX isn't it ? I tried make him has a change of heart but he sticked to one's guns. My father told me New York was a fithy and it was dangerous for a single woman but I managed to leave of overthere. Morover, he has sent me a letter next month, he demanded I come back to home. In a word.. I didn't answer to him because I'm up to one's eyeballs !
Two first month I was unemployed but all the days I walked round theater in order to become an actress. Two month ago I received a letter which annouced me I'm admissed. When I saw "admiss" I had tears in one's eyes : I was over the moon. So I was played at "Dejazet Theater" since one month.
Next week I met Jason Passavant, the director. I had an audition. He said me "Make me cry!" So I played a young woman who wants to leave her country in order to be independant; but her father being a despot she can't.. I even managed to cry because I was thinking to my quarrel with dady. So he said he wanted me, and asked me how old was I. I replied I was twenty-six. He smiled. He disappeared into his office and came back with a paper and a pen. He desired to enter into an agreement.
I'm so happy in my new life, sometimes I wonder how I did in Chicago...
I live in a attic but I don't care : neighbour is so sympathic ! He's thirty years old and he is painter. He works in a prestigious Art school but his salary is ridiculous. Sometimes we go to the cinema together. think I've a soft spot for him..I go whichever way the wind blows !
I hope to receive your answer soon, I miss you too much Hugo,
I kiss you.
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 09-03-2011 21:14
Réponse: Rédaction, fautes de syntaxe de gerondif, postée le 09-03-2011 à 20:00:58 (S | E)
Bonsoir,
en effet, beaucoup de fautes!
next month: le mois prochain ! Dans un texte au passé, cela fait bizarre.
Attention aux participes passés inventés, ou faux, ou irréguliers avec ed quand même....
I hope you're fine and I want you ( )know I often think to you.
I was selted in New York since six month(pluriel). I should have wroten to you before (j'aurais dû t'écrire plus tôt) but I didn't had time, sorry. Anyway, everything is good.
When I have said to my father my idea, he reply he didn't approve of my choice. He was full of stereotypes, he said Carl was a man and it maked(AARRGGHH!!) a difference. It's an opinion of the XIX isn't it ? I tried( ) make him has a change of heart but he sticked to one's guns. My father told me New York was a fi**thy and it was dangerous for a single woman but I managed to leave of overthere. Morover, he has sent me a letter next month, he demanded I come back to home. In a word.. I didn't answer to him because I'm up to one's eyeballs !
**** **** **** Two first month(pluriel) I was unemployed but all the days I walked round ***theater(pluriel) in order to become an actress. Two month(pluriel) ago I received a letter which announced me I'm admissed. When I saw "admiss" I had tears in one's eyes : I was over the moon. So I was played at "Dejazet Theater" since one month.
Next week I met Jason Passavant, the director. I had an audition. He said me "Make me cry!" So I played a young woman who wants to leave her country in order to be independant; but her father being a despot she can't.. I even managed to cry because I was thinking to my quarrel with daddy. So he said he wanted me, and asked me how old was I. I replied I was twenty-six. He smiled. He disappeared into his office and came back with a paper and a pen. He desired to enter into an agreement.(ce paragraphe est bien meilleur que les autres sauf la dernière phrase)
I'm so happy in my new life, sometimes I wonder how I did in Chicago...
I live in an attic but I don't care : *** neighbour is so sympathic ! He's thirty years old and he is a painter. He works in a prestigious Art school but his salary is ridiculous. Sometimes we go to the cinema together. I think I've a soft spot for him..I go whichever way the wind blows !
I hope to receive your answer soon, I miss you too much Hugo,
I kiss you. (maladroit)
Réponse: Rédaction, fautes de syntaxe de notrepere, postée le 09-03-2011 à 22:31:15 (S | E)
HelloWell, at least we know it's your work and not the work of un traducteur en ligne. So we give you credit for that! Quelques corrections supplémentaires de celles de Gérondif.
before (plus tôt) (Mauvaise traduction de "plus tôt)
Next week (La semaine suivante) The ... week
I even managed to cry because I was thinking to (mauvaise préposition: penser à/réfléchir à) my quarrel with daddy. So he said he wanted me, and asked me how old was I (ordre des mots).
Réponse: Rédaction, fautes de syntaxe de may, postée le 10-03-2011 à 01:12:06 (S | E)
Bonsoir,
Just a small touch:
...I often think to/autre prép. you.
...to you before (j'aurais dû t'écrire plus tôt) 7 lettres commence par EA et termine par ER
Morover, he...
Two first month(pluriel)----> Article défini + first + ____ _____
Next week/supposé la semaine dernière I met Jason Passavant, the director.
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Modifié par may le 10-03-2011 02:27
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