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Success expression
Message de folk posté le 01-03-2011 à 18:34:16 (S | E | F)
Bonsoir à tous ,
je dois faire une expression .
Le thème s'intitule : what is your idea of a successful life?
Pouvez-vous me dire où sont mes fautes .
Merci.
There is several way of making a success of its life, because there exist many possible criteria.
To help the people, to make a success of its studies, to found a family.
Us minnows that there are certain criteria which are important and of other far important.
To start, I am interresser on the criteria which are for me less important.
Living a big house is less important because it is necessary to have a front well paid employment.
The second criteria, is to live in the luxury.
I think that it is necessary to live with what one A.
Everyone cannot live in the luxury. Personally, I do not live in the luxury and I live very well.
Nevertheless there exist other criteria which are important.
The first criterion which comes me to mind; it is to make a success of its studies.
It is essential because that makes it possible to do what one has desire
For example: if his studies were not made a success of and that one finds oneself in a sector which one does not like, one cannot find motivation.
The second criteria which is also important to succeed in my life is: to help the people.
It is important because that gives a direction to its life.
I felt proud to have to help my large mother in the moments hard
But it should not be also forgotten that the family and the good friends are also important to make a success of her life. Because the family allows me to be located, to be to help in my choices, to be constant. The friends have allows me to be given again the smile in the hard moments, and to spend good moments to laugh.
In conclusion, the studies, to help the people, the family and the friends are for me the criteria essential to succeed in the life.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 01-03-2011 18:45
Message de folk posté le 01-03-2011 à 18:34:16 (S | E | F)
Bonsoir à tous ,
je dois faire une expression .
Le thème s'intitule : what is your idea of a successful life?
Pouvez-vous me dire où sont mes fautes .
Merci.
There is several way of making a success of its life, because there exist many possible criteria.
To help the people, to make a success of its studies, to found a family.
Us minnows that there are certain criteria which are important and of other far important.
To start, I am interresser on the criteria which are for me less important.
Living a big house is less important because it is necessary to have a front well paid employment.
The second criteria, is to live in the luxury.
I think that it is necessary to live with what one A.
Everyone cannot live in the luxury. Personally, I do not live in the luxury and I live very well.
Nevertheless there exist other criteria which are important.
The first criterion which comes me to mind; it is to make a success of its studies.
It is essential because that makes it possible to do what one has desire
For example: if his studies were not made a success of and that one finds oneself in a sector which one does not like, one cannot find motivation.
The second criteria which is also important to succeed in my life is: to help the people.
It is important because that gives a direction to its life.
I felt proud to have to help my large mother in the moments hard
But it should not be also forgotten that the family and the good friends are also important to make a success of her life. Because the family allows me to be located, to be to help in my choices, to be constant. The friends have allows me to be given again the smile in the hard moments, and to spend good moments to laugh.
In conclusion, the studies, to help the people, the family and the friends are for me the criteria essential to succeed in the life.
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 01-03-2011 18:45
Réponse: Success expression de folk, postée le 01-03-2011 à 22:30:47 (S | E)
e bonjour , pouvez vous m'aidez sur les choses à changer
merci
Réponse: Success expression de folk, postée le 01-03-2011 à 23:39:27 (S | E)
e bonjour , j'ai modifié mon texte . Pouvez vous me dire si c'est bon , et de me dire les erreurs . Merci
There are several possible criteria, because there are several possible criteria, such as
To help people, to make a success of its studies, to found a family.
We'll see that there are certain criteria that are important and other criteria that are less important.
To begin with, I am interested on the criteria which are for me less important.
Living a big house is less important because we must have a stable job.
The second criteria, is to live in luxury.
I think we have to live with his own, everyone cannot live in luxury. personally i don't live in luxury and I live very well.
Nevertheless there exist other criteria which are important.
The first criterion which comes to mind ; is successful study.
Is essential because it allows to do what we want.
For example:if we do not successfully studied and we found this in an industry that is not love, you can not find motivation.
The second criteria which is also important to succeed in my life is :to help the people.
That is important because it gives a direction to his life.
I felt proud to have to help my grandmother in the moments hard .
But it should not be forgotten that the family and good friends are also important to make to make a success of his life, because the family allows me to have my bearings, to help in my choices, to be constant.
Friends are there to give me a smile , Friends are there to give me a smile in the hard moments, but they can spend quality time together.
In conclusion, studies, help people , the family and friends are for me the criteria essential to succeed in life.
Réponse: Success expression de notrepere, postée le 02-03-2011 à 06:13:38 (S | E)
HelloThere are several possible criteria, because there are several possible criteria (1), such as
To help (2) people, to make (2) a success of its (3) studies, to found (4) a family.
We'll see that there are certain criteria that are important and other criteria that are less important.
To begin with, I am interested on (5) the criteria which are for me less important.
Living (6) a big house is less important because we must have a stable job.
The second criteria (7), is to live (2) in luxury.
I think we have to live with his own (8), everyone cannot live in luxury. personally i don't live in luxury and I live very well.
Nevertheless there exist other criteria (9) which are important.
The first criterion which comes to mind ; (13) is successful study (10).
(11) is essential because it allows (11) to do what we want.
For example: if we do not successfully studied and we found this in an industry that is not love, you can not find motivation. (12)
The second criteria (7) which is also important to succeed in my life is : (13)to help the (13) people.
That is important because it gives a direction to his (3) life.
I felt proud to have to help (14) my grandmother in the moments hard (15) .
But it should not be forgotten that the (13) family and good friends are also important to make to make (1) a success of his (3) life, because the family allows me to have my bearings (14), to help in my choices, to be constant.
Friends are there to give me a smile (14) , Friends are there to give me a smile (1) in the hard moments, but they can spend quality time together.
In conclusion, studies, help (2) people , the (13) family and friends are for me the criteria essential (15) to succeed in life.
(1) Répétition répétition
(2) Le gérondif vaut mieux
(3) Mal pronom
(4) Mal dit; You don't 'found' a family
(5) Une mauvaise préposition
(6) Une préposition est manquante
(7) criteria = pluriel; criterion = singulier;
(8) within your/one's owns means, par exemple
(9) Il faut supprimer « there » ; ordre des mots restants
(10) Il ne va pas; que voulez-vous dire? studies?
(11) Le sujet est manquant
(12) Cette phrase ne veut rien dire
(13) Superflu; à supprimer
(14) to have to help = devoir aider; avoir aidé = to have helped
(15) L'adjectif est mal placé
Réponse: Success expression de folk, postée le 02-03-2011 à 14:01:56 (S | E)
bonjour , j'ai corrigé
There are several possible criteria, to make a success of its life, such as , To helping people, to making a success of
his studies , living in a happy familly,
We'll see that there are certain criteria that are important and other criteria that are less important.
To begin with, I am interested with criteria which are for me less important.
Living in a big house is less important because we must have a stable job.
The second criterion is to living in luxury.
I think we have to live one's owns means , everyone cannot live in luxury. Personally I don't live in luxury and I live very well.
Nevertheless exist other criteria which are important.
The first criterion which comes to mind is successful is successful studies.
It is essential because it allows to do what we want.
For example: if one succeeded not in his studies, one will not be able to make a trade which one likes,
The second criterion which is also important to succeed in my life is to help people.
That is important because it gives a direction to her life.
I felt proud to have helped my grandmother in difficult moments .
But it should not be forgotten that family and good friends are also important to make a success of her life, because the family allows me to have my bearings , to help in my choices, to be constant.
Friends are there to give me a smile ( pourquoi changer)in the hard moments, but they can spend quality time together.
In conclusion, studies, helping people , family and friends are for me the essential criteria to succeed in life.
Réponse: Success expression de folk, postée le 03-03-2011 à 12:21:48 (S | E)
bonjour , j'ai encore corrigé .
J'ai fait de mon mieux . j'aimerais que vous m'aidiez à m'expliquer mes erreurs
merci
There are several possible criteria, to make a success of his life, such as , To help people, to make a success of studies , living in a happy familly,
We'll see that there are certain criteria that are important and other criteria that are less important.
To begin with, I am interested at criteria which are for me less important.
I prefer to live in house small than to live in a big house because I must finding a well-paid job,
The second criterion is to living in luxury.
I think we have to live with what we have everyone cannot live in luxury. Personally I don't live in luxury and I live very well.
Nevertheless it exist other criteria which are important.
The first criterion which comes to mind is successful study.
It is essential because it allows to do what we want.
For example: if one succeeded not in his studies, one will not be able to make a trade which one likes,
The second criterion which is also important is to succeed in my life is to help people.
That is important because it gives a direction to life.
I felt proud to have helped my grandmother in difficult moments .
But it should not be forgotten that family and good friends are also important to make a success of the life, because the family allows me to have my bearings , to help in my choices, to be constant.
Friends are there to give me a smile in the difficult moments, but the friends can spend quality time together.
In conclusion, studies, helping people , family and friends are for me the essential criteria to succeed in life.
Réponse: Success expression de folk, postée le 03-03-2011 à 21:14:26 (S | E)
Rebonjour , pouvez-vous m'aider s'il vous plait?
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Modifié par lucile83 le 03-03-2011 21:27
Réponse: Success expression de lucile83, postée le 03-03-2011 à 21:20:57 (S | E)
Hello,
Comment voulez-vous que l'on corrige votre texte quand vous le changez chaque fois au lieu de corriger vos fautes selon les indications?
notrepere vous avait donné des pistes;vous n'en tenez pas compte et vous changez vos phrases; il devrait tout recommencer? je ne pense pas que ce soit 'jouable'.
Réponse: Success expression de notrepere, postée le 04-03-2011 à 00:03:30 (S | E)
BonjourComme le dit Lucile, j'ai fait la correction et puis vous avez entièrement changé votre texte. Je ne ferai pas à nouveau une autre correction.
Réponse: Success expression de may, postée le 04-03-2011 à 17:19:18 (S | E)
Hello folk,
You just try to stick with the corrections and your text would be fine (or there will be more modifications later for you). Let me try one according to what indicated above:
There are several possible criteria, because there are several possible criteria (1/répétition), such as
To help (2/gérondif) people, to make (2/gérondif) a success of its (3/mal pronom) studies, to found (4/mal dit) a family.
There are several possible criteria, such as helping people, making a success of (his/her/one's) studies, building a family.
We'll see that there are certain criteria that are important and other criteria that are less important.
Best wishes.
Réponse: Success expression de lucile83, postée le 04-03-2011 à 18:25:25 (S | E)
Hello,
Vous avez,grâce à may qui a bien voulu vous donner un exemple, toutes les cartes en main pour corriger.
A vous de travailler.
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