Cours d'allemand gratuitsCréer un test
Connectez-vous !

Cliquez ici pour vous connecter
Nouveau compte
Des millions de comptes créés

100% gratuit !
[Avantages]
   



Correction/About a film (1)

Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

Ce sujet est fermé. Vous ne pouvez pas poster de réponse.


Correction/About a film
Message de thimo posté le 27-02-2011 à 20:01:48
Bonjour,
j'ai ce devoir à rendre,et j'aimerais beaucoup que quelqu'un me corrige les fautes, juge un peu mon devoir au niveau du sens et des idées.
Merci d'avance.

Le voici :

Gattaca is a 1997 science fiction film written and directed by Andrew Nicco. A « less-than-perfect » man wants to travel to the stars. Society has categorized Vincent Freeman as less than suitable given his genetic make-up and he has become one of the underclass of humans that are only useful for menial jobs. To move ahead, he assumes the identity of Jerome Morrow, a perfect genetic specimen who is a paraplegic as a result of a car accident. With professional advice, Vincent learns to deceive DNA and urine sample testing. Just when he is finally scheduled for a space mission, his program director is killed and the police begin an investigation, endangering his secret.

_Historically eugenism was in fashion at the turn of the 20th century, in countries such as Sweden and Nazi Germany. The belief that better genes made better humans has been proved wrong and is no longer upheld by scientists, fortunately. Or is it? Recently, a political election raised the issue of natural born criminals. Does it mean that we are determined by own genes and, if so, do we need to wasp them for a better. The movie Gattaca tackles the question of genetics and in some way provides an answer. The main character is born “invalid” and is not allowed in the haven for “valid” citizen but manages to fake his identity and oddly enough, outsmarts the superior people in charge of security. The need for security to keep “invalid” people away from Gattaca is a contradiction in terms, if those people are really so unfit, why worry about them trying to intrude?They shouldn’t be able to. But they do anyway: which means that the answer for a better life lies somewhere else than in genes.

To conclude, This movie shows what life would be like in a society where DNA would be the most important thing. It deals with the problems that in-valid face because they are considered as incompetent. We see that the most important thing are genes, the soul of a person doesn't matter, things which is important is the appearance . We understand that only wealthy people can live in a place like this one. This film leaves us with an unsolved question, which will see the development of advanced processes such as cloning or genetic therapy: do we want a society with genetically engineered people or keep things natural even if to perfection is a tempting goal?
------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 27-02-2011 20:45



Réponse: Correction/About a film de notrepere, postée le 28-02-2011 à 03:16:11
Hello

Gattaca is a 1997 science fiction film written and directed by Andrew Nicco. A « less-than-perfect » man wants to travel to the stars. Society has categorized Vincent Freeman as less than suitable given his genetic make-up and he has become one of the underclass of humans that are only useful for menial jobs. To move ahead, he assumes the identity of Jerome Morrow, a perfect genetic specimen (1) who is a paraplegic as a result of a car accident. With professional advice (2), Vincent learns to deceive DNA and urine sample testing. Just when he is finally scheduled for a space mission, his program director is killed and the police begin an investigation, endangering his secret.

Historically[virgule] eugenism (3) was in fashion at the turn of the 20th century, in countries such as Sweden and Nazi Germany. The belief that better genes made better humans has been proved wrong and is no longer upheld by scientists, fortunately. Or is it? Recently, a political election raised the issue of natural born criminals (4). Does it mean that we are determined by own genes (5) and, if so, do we need to wasp them for a better (6). The movie Gattaca tackles the question of genetics and in some way provides an answer. The main character is born “invalid” and is not allowed in the haven for “valid” citizen but manages to fake his identity and oddly enough, outsmarts the superior people in charge of security. The need for security to keep “invalid” people away from Gattaca is a contradiction in terms, if those people are really so unfit, why worry about them trying to intrude?They shouldn’t be able to. But they do anyway: which means that the answer for a better life lies somewhere else than in genes.

To conclude, This movie film shows what life would be like in a society where DNA would be the most important thing. It deals with the problems that the in-valid face because they are considered as incompetent. We see that the most important thing are (7) genes, the soul of a person doesn't matter, things which is (7) important is the appearance. We understand that only wealthy people can live in a place like this one. This film leaves us with an unsolved question, which will see the development of advanced processes such as cloning or genetic therapy: do we want a society with genetically engineered people or keep things natural even if to perfection is a tempting goal? (8)

(1) Je suggère de mettre 'genetic' en forme d'un adverbe et le placer avant 'perfect'
(2) Je suggère: upon the advice of professionals
(3) Ce mot n'existe pas; consultez un dictionnaire
(4) Il faut une autre expression; "natural born" veut dire quelque chose différent.
(5) La voix passive ne va pas.
(6) Cette expression ne veut rien dire.
(7) Accorde.
(8) Cette phrase n'est pas claire; il faut refaire.

Cordialement


Réponse: Correction/About a film de thimo, postée le 28-02-2011 à 19:30:55
Merci beaucoup notrepère, je vais retravailler mon devoir xxxxx
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 28-02-2011 20:12


Réponse: Correction/About a film de notrepere, postée le 28-02-2011 à 19:50:17
Hello

1. In English, there is something called a "run-on" or "comma-splice" sentence. This happens when two complete sentences are put together with only a comma between them. I suspect French has a similar rule. You need a conjunction to be able to properly combine j'ai ce devoir à rendre and j'aimerais beaucoup together.

2. When you're asking for free help on a public forum, I would suggest that you be mindful and respectful of others. Please also remember that the moderators, while they can sometimes make mistakes, have a lot more experience than you.

As they say, you'll attract more bees with honey than with vinegar.

Cordialement




Ce sujet est fermé, vous ne pouvez pas poster de réponse.

 


> INDISPENSABLES : TESTEZ VOTRE NIVEAU | GUIDE DE TRAVAIL | NOS MEILLEURES FICHES | Les fiches les plus populaires | Aide/Contact

> NOS AUTRES SITES GRATUITS : Cours d'anglais | Cours de français | Cours de mathématiques | Cours d'italien | Cours d'allemand | Cours de néerlandais | Tests de culture générale | Cours de japonais | Rapidité au clavier | Cours de latin | Cours de provençal | Moteur de recherche sites éducatifs | Outils utiles | Bac d'anglais | Our sites in English

> INFORMATIONS : Copyright - En savoir plus, Aide, Contactez-nous [Conditions d'utilisation] [Conseils de sécurité] Reproductions et traductions interdites sur tout support (voir conditions) | Contenu des sites déposé chaque semaine chez un huissier de justice | Mentions légales / Vie privée | Cookies. [Modifier vos choix]
| Cours et exercices d'espagnol 100% gratuits, hors abonnement internet auprès d'un fournisseur d'accès. / Partager sur les réseaux