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Correction/ paragraphe (1)

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Correction/ paragraphe
Message de hugoboss183 posté le 30-01-2011 à 16:29:44
Bonjour tout le monde !

Voila, j'ai un DM de deux questions à faire pour demain, la première est de résumer un texte en anglais (évidemment), je vais poster mon résumé afin qu'une âme charitable m'aide à corriger les fautes de grammaire/syntaxe.
Merci bien !
Texte sur lequel le résumé doit être fait disponible ici >> http://www.spectator.co.uk/essays/all/6157743/rotten-apple.thtml


According to the article, in what way is Apple a rotten apple ? 


In this article, Philip Delves will explain how Apple has a hidden face, a face she does not reveal to its customers.


In the first part, the author talks about the image the general public that Apple gives us, the image of an ambitious company, who wishes to dethrone Microsoft from its position as world leader in high tech. Apple is a company that listens to its customers, who wants reassuring ..


However, Philip Delves will linger longer on the dark side of Apple. He said the huge profit generated by a company necessarily entails an element of lies in order to protect his image, his prosperous economy ..


The author accuses Apple of being responsible for a bloody war in Congo. In fact, all Apple phones (but also other brands) are composed of a precious ore: the Tantalum. By exploiting this ore, Apple encourages trafficking in arms and therefore the civil war.


Is also questioned, the exploitation of Chinese workers. Like many others, Apple makes its products assembled in China but is unable to control the working conditions ofemployees. Nevertheless, some facts have been reported from Apple: suicide attempts have occurred in several plants, probably due to excessive workload, low pay, and risk of injury at work ...


In addition, Philip Delves explains that Apple has refused to increase the salaries of Chinese society because it could not withstand such a high cost.


In conclusion, the author gives his views on the usefulness of Apple products, they seem to him unnecessary. In addition, he believes that without them, part of the world could probably gets better.

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 30-01-2011 17:05

Bonjour,
Votre texte provient de toute évidence d'un traducteur en ligne, ce que nous ne pouvons accepter.
Vous pouvez obtenir un dictionnaire en ligne (pas un traducteur) en faisant un double clic sur un mot.
Merci de nous proposer un travail personnel qui sera alors sans doute corrigé.
Best wishes.



Réponse: Correction/ paragraphe de headway, postée le 30-01-2011 à 16:59:43
Bonjour,

"In this article, Philip Delves will explain(utilisez le présent simple) how Apple has a hidden face, a face she does not reveal to its customers.



In the first part, the author talks about the image the general public that Apple gives us, the image of an ambitious company, who wishes to dethrone Microsoft from its position as(il manque un article) world leader in high tech. Apple is a company that listens to its customers, who wants reassuring ..



However, Philip Delves will linger longer on the dark side of Apple. He said the huge profit generated by a company necessarily entails an element of lies in order to protect his image, his prosperous economy ..



The author accuses Apple of being responsible for a bloody war in Congo. In fact, all Apple phones (but also other brands) are composed of a precious ore: the Tantalum. By exploiting this ore, Apple encourages trafficking in arms and therefore the civil war.



Is also questioned, the exploitation of Chinese workers. Like many others, Apple makes its products assembled in China but is unable to control the working conditions ofemployees. Nevertheless, some facts have been reported from Apple: suicide attempts have occurred in several plants, probably due to excessive workload, low pay, and risk of injury at work ...



In addition, Philip Delves explains that Apple has refused to increase the salaries of Chinese society because it could not withstand such a high cost.



In conclusion, the author gives his views on the usefulness of Apple products, they seem to him unnecessary. In addition, he believes that without them, part of the world could probably gets better."


Quel traducteur automatique?



Réponse: Correction/ paragraphe de hugoboss183, postée le 30-01-2011 à 17:06:35
Un grand merci à toi.

Cela se voit tant que ca que ce résumé est l'oeuvre d'un traducteur automatique ? J'ai pourtant relu chaque phrases et elles ne me semblaient pas incorrectes .. Je ne suis pas très bon en Anglais, je ne dois pas me rendre compte.

Au passage, j'ai fait ca avec l'outil linguistique de Google, je pense que les phrases font trop construites "à la française" .. probablement.




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