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Correction-DM récit de voyage
Message de ecolefacile posté le 30-12-2010 à 13:57:50 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
Je dois faire un récit de voyage de 5 paragraphes mais je ne suis pas sûre que tout soit correct; je parle des fautes d'orthographe; pouvez-vous m'aider à le corriger s'il vous plaît?
Merci.
D-1 We left Phoenix for Sedona. We visited the city and we could see “crase Holly's chapel” which was at the top of a rocky thorn from where we could see all the city.
Then we left for Holbrook by road 66 and we arrived in the Petrified Forest National Park which owes its name to the petrified trees which look like stones. The site is dominated a wonderful silence.
D-2 Holbrook with canyon of Chelly, we left road 66 to visit the canyon of Chelly which is a red canyon with abrupt cliffs and Indian ruins which are sacred for Indians. We visited this canyon by horse and admired the landscape then we got the road up to monument Valley in the Navajo. We taken back by car but finally finish on horseback and met a very nice Indian.
D-3 From monument valley to bare Lake Powell of Lake Powell with motorcycle then we were to bathe in the lake followed by a small cruise on the lake Powell. Then from Lake Powell to Grand Canyon we made the discovery of the Grand Canyon by means of a helicopter.
D-4 In the Grand Canyon we visit the park of Arizona by car By way of the road 66.
the valley of kingman is also visited for his factory of Coca-Cola and we saw truck as in pubs.
D-5 We finally arrived in Las Vegas where we had $100 each for the casino. we used the rest in the purchase of souvenirs and gifts for the the family.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 30-12-2010 13:58
Message de ecolefacile posté le 30-12-2010 à 13:57:50 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
Je dois faire un récit de voyage de 5 paragraphes mais je ne suis pas sûre que tout soit correct; je parle des fautes d'orthographe; pouvez-vous m'aider à le corriger s'il vous plaît?
Merci.
D-1 We left Phoenix for Sedona. We visited the city and we could see “crase Holly's chapel” which was at the top of a rocky thorn from where we could see all the city.
Then we left for Holbrook by road 66 and we arrived in the Petrified Forest National Park which owes its name to the petrified trees which look like stones. The site is dominated a wonderful silence.
D-2 Holbrook with canyon of Chelly, we left road 66 to visit the canyon of Chelly which is a red canyon with abrupt cliffs and Indian ruins which are sacred for Indians. We visited this canyon by horse and admired the landscape then we got the road up to monument Valley in the Navajo. We taken back by car but finally finish on horseback and met a very nice Indian.
D-3 From monument valley to bare Lake Powell of Lake Powell with motorcycle then we were to bathe in the lake followed by a small cruise on the lake Powell. Then from Lake Powell to Grand Canyon we made the discovery of the Grand Canyon by means of a helicopter.
D-4 In the Grand Canyon we visit the park of Arizona by car By way of the road 66.
the valley of kingman is also visited for his factory of Coca-Cola and we saw truck as in pubs.
D-5 We finally arrived in Las Vegas where we had $100 each for the casino. we used the rest in the purchase of souvenirs and gifts for the the family.
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 30-12-2010 13:58
Réponse: Correction-DM récit de voyage de dsmith, postée le 30-12-2010 à 14:33:35 (S | E)
Bonjour,
Un peu mieux que la dernière fois.
D-1 We left Phoenix for Sedona. We visited the city and we could see “crase Holly's chapel” (what is crase Holly's chapel??) which was at the top of a rocky thorn (mauvais mot) from where we could see all the city.
Then we left for Holbrook by road 66 (haven't you heard of the famous "route 66"?) Lien Internet
and we arrived in the Petrified Forest National Park which owes its name to the petrified trees which look like stones. The site is dominated a wonderful silence. (Il y a un mot qui manque après dominated - regarde ici Lien Internet
)
D-2 Holbrook with canyon of Chelly, we left road 66 to visit the canyon of Chelly which is a red canyon with abrupt cliffs and Indian ruins which are sacred for Indians. We visited this canyon by horse and admired the landscape then we got the road up to monument Valley in the Navajo (in the Navajo what?). We taken back (where?) by car but finally finish (mauvais temps) on horseback and met a very nice Indian.
D-3 From monument valley to bare (what does this mean?) Lake Powell of Lake Powell with motorcycle (I don't understand this then we were to bathe (bathe usually means to wash yourself in English - at least in american English) in the lake followed by a small cruise on the lake Powell. Then from Lake Powell to Grand Canyon we made the discovery (nous ne le disons pas comme ça en anglais - discover is what the first men who found it did) of the Grand Canyon by means of a helicopter.
D-4 In the Grand Canyon we visit the park of Arizona (what is the park of Arizona?) by car By way of the road 66.
the valley of kingman is also visited for his (a valley is not a person - you can't use he/she/his/her) factory of Coca-Cola and we saw truck as in pubs (ton traducteur automatique a toujour traduit "les pubs" mauvais - pubs est argot français - cherche dans le dictionnaire toi-même..
D-5 We finally arrived in Las Vegas where we had $100 each for the casino. we used the rest in the purchase of souvenirs and gifts for the the family.
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 30-12-2010 16:08
Réponse: Correction-DM récit de voyage de ecolefacile, postée le 30-12-2010 à 15:28:46 (S | E)
bonjour dsmith,
Merci pour cette correction
crase Holly's chapel est une chapel de sedona mais je viens de me rendre compte que le nom que j'ai trouvé sur un site que je ne retrouve plus maintenant n'est pas exacte le nom de Chapel of the holy Cross et plus juste je pense
Lien Internet
Pour remplacer thorn je pense à prickle mais mon dictionnaire me dit que pour épine thorn est correcte
the sites is dominated by a wonderful silence.
Est-ce que route 66 est correcte?
Pour got je ne comprend pas pouvez-vous m'expliquer.
Le navajo est un réserve au nord de l'Arizona, aux États-Unis d'Amérique.
After a break we taken back by car but finally (to) finish on horseback and met a very nice Indian. je ne vois pas quel temps cela peut-il être puisque c'est un infinitif dans ma phrase francaise? "pour finalement finir à cheval avec la rencontre d’indien très sympathique."
pour le D-3 j'ai voulu dire "de monument valley a Lake Powell découverte de Lake Powell en moto".
then we were to swim in the lake followed by a small cruise on the lake Powell.
Then from Lake Powell to Grand Canyon we made the visit .
the park of Arizona ce sont plusieur parcs de l'arizona.
Pour "the valley of kingman is also visited for his " je dois enlever le the ? et le remplacer par a ? "factory of Coca-Cola and we saw truck as in publicity(ou advertising)
Réponse: Correction-DM récit de voyage de lucile83, postée le 30-12-2010 à 16:12:56 (S | E)
Hello
I think it is the Chapel Of The Holy Cross
Lien Internet
Réponse: Correction-DM récit de voyage de ecolefacile, postée le 30-12-2010 à 16:15:41 (S | E)
merci maintenant je suis sur de ma réponse dans mon poste précédent merci
Réponse: Correction-DM récit de voyage de dsmith, postée le 30-12-2010 à 19:33:22 (S | E)
Bonjour,
Pour remplacer thorn je pense à prickle mais mon dictionnaire me dit que pour épine thorn est correcte (thorn est la chose qui pique sur une rose) I think you meant a rocky spine.
the sites is dominated by a wonderful silence. - yes
Est-ce que route 66 est correcte? - yes
Pour got je ne comprend pas pouvez-vous m'expliquer. (tu ne reçois (got) pas une route, tu prends une route - c'est la meme en anglais)
Le navajo est un réserve au nord de l'Arizona, aux États-Unis d'Amérique. Navajo est un adjectif. Il faut ajouter un nom (in the Navajo reservation)
After a break we taken back by car but finally (to) finish on horseback and met a very nice Indian. je ne vois pas quel temps cela peut-il être puisque c'est un infinitif dans ma phrase francaise? "pour finalement finir à cheval avec la rencontre d’indien très sympathique." "we taken" is not correct - "we were taken". but finally finish on horseback - change finish to the past tense.
pour le D-3 j'ai voulu dire "de monument valley a Lake Powell découverte de Lake Powell en moto". Ce n'est pas une phrase complète car il n'y a pas de verbe - même en français. "Nous sommes allés de Monument Valley à Lake Powell et nous avons passé notre temps à visiter le Lac en moto" Est-ce qu'on peut visiter un lac en moto?? Essaye quelque chose comme ça en anglais.
then we were to swim in the lake followed by a small cruise on the lake Powell. GOOD!
Then from Lake Powell to Grand Canyon we made the visit (we visited by helicopter).
the park of Arizona ce sont plusieur parcs de l'arizona. After the Grand Canyon we visited other parks of Arizona...
Pour "the valley of kingman is also visited for his " je dois enlever le the ? et le remplacer par a ? "factory of Coca-Cola and we saw truck as in publicity(ou advertising) You can visit in the Kingman Valley its Coca-Cola factory where we saw a Coca-Cola truck like you see in the advertisements.
Réponse: Correction-DM récit de voyage de ecolefacile, postée le 30-12-2010 à 21:24:23 (S | E)
Bonjour,
D-1 We left Phoenix for Sedona. We visited the city and we could see “Chapel of the Holy Cross” which was at the top of a rocky spine from where we could see all the city.
Then we left for Holbrook by route 66 and we arrived in the Petrified Forest National Park which owes its name to the petrified trees which look like stones. The site is dominated by a wonderful silence.
D-2 Holbrook with canyon of Chelly, we left route 66 to visit the canyon of Chelly which is a red canyon with abrupt cliffs and Indian ruins which are sacred for Indians. We visited this canyon by horse and admired the landscape then we taken the route up to monument Valle in the Navajo reservation. We were taken back by car but finally finish on horseback and met a very nice Indian.
D-3 From monument valley to bare Lake Powell of Lake Powell with motorcycle then we were to swim in the lake followed by a small cruise on the lake Powell. Then from Lake Powell to Grand Canyon we made we visited by helicopter.
D-4 In the Grand Canyon we visit the park of Arizona by car By way of the route 66.
You can visit in the Kingman Valley its Coca-Cola factory where we saw a Coca-Cola truck like you see in the advertisements.
D-5 We finally arrived in Las Vegas where we had $100 each for the casino. we used the rest in the purchase of souvenirs and gifts for the the family. I finally understood why we called the city light because we see full of illumination.
Réponse: Correction-DM récit de voyage de ecolefacile, postée le 01-01-2011 à 16:31:39 (S | E)
Bonjour ,
Je dois bientôt rendre le dm merci de me corriger s'il vous plaît merci
Réponse: Correction-DM récit de voyage de alphonse46, postée le 01-01-2011 à 17:45:08 (S | E)
Bonjour, ecolefacile
D-1 We left Phoenix for Sedona. We visited the city and we could see “Chapel of the Holy Cross” which was at the top of a rocky spine from where we could see all the city.
Then we left for Holbrook by route 66 and we arrived in the Petrified Forest National Park which owes its name to the petrified trees which look like stones. The site is dominated by a wonderful silence.
D-2 Holbrook with canyon of Chelly, we left route 66 to visit the canyon of Chelly which is a red canyon with abrupt cliffs and Indian ruins which are sacred for Indians. We visited this canyon by horse and admired the landscape then we taken the route up to monument Valle in the Navajo reservation. We were taken back by car but finally finish on horseback and met a very nice Indian.
D-3 From monument valley, M..V.. to bare Lake Powell of Lake Powell with motorcycle then we were to swim in the lake followed by a small cruise on the lake(L) Powell. Then from Lake Powell to Grand Canyon we made we visited by helicopter.
D-4 In the Grand Canyon we visit(tense) the park of Arizona by car By way of the route 66.
You can visit in the Kingman Valley its Coca-Cola factory where we saw a Coca-Cola truck like you see in the advertisements.
D-5 We finally arrived in Las Vegas where we had $100 each for the casino. we used the rest in the purchase of souvenirs and gifts for the the family. I finally understood why we called the city light because we see full of illumination (singular or plural?)
Réponse: Correction-DM récit de voyage de ecolefacile, postée le 01-01-2011 à 17:58:54 (S | E)
Bonjour, merci pour cette réponse mais peut-tu diriger mes erreur pour que je trouve en quoi il faut changer merci
Réponse: Correction-DM récit de voyage de alphonse46, postée le 01-01-2011 à 18:12:13 (S | E)
Bonjour, ecolefacile
Il n'est pas d'usage sur ce site de faire les devoirs, mais seulement d'indiquer des pistes de réflexion
taken isn't the preterit
monument valley:Monument Valley
finally finish:preterit?
to bare Lake Powell: I don't understand the meaning
Lake Powell of Lake Powell ?
were to swim: le verbe principal est 'to swim', et non 'to be'+prétérit
we made we visited : why 'we made'?
we visit(tense) the park : why using the present?
By way of the route 66. By/by, 'way of' isn't useful
full of illumination : no error
Réponse: Correction-DM récit de voyage de ecolefacile, postée le 01-01-2011 à 19:42:42 (S | E)
Bonjour, merci pour ta réponse pour taken peut-être we were taken, Monument Valley, Finished, Monument Valley, pour to bare je vous dirais plus tard quand je serais chez moi car je ne sais plus ,Pour to swim la personne qui ma laissée un message avant me disais que la phrase était correcte " then we were to swim in the lake followed by a small cruise on the lake Powell. GOOD! " pourquoi?
pour we made , we make non? Et the family
Réponse: Correction-DM récit de voyage de alphonse46, postée le 01-01-2011 à 20:18:40 (S | E)
Bonjour, ecolefacile
'taken' and 'were taken' aren't the preterit of the verb ' to take'
were to swim: on simplifie la phrase en utilisant le prétérit de 'to swim'
we made: isn't useful
'the the family': there are too many 'the'
Bon courage
Réponse: Correction-DM récit de voyage de ecolefacile, postée le 01-01-2011 à 20:21:03 (S | E)
Merci beaucoup à tous
Réponse: Correction-DM récit de voyage de ecolefacile, postée le 03-01-2011 à 17:43:32 (S | E)
Bonjour,
aujourd'hui j'eu un grand doute sur mon texte surtout le temps du texte (preterit) pour faire un bilan ce n'est pas le present perfect si oui quelqu'un peut m'aider si non merci de me rassurer mais si on doit utiliser le present perfect pouvez me dire si mon texte actuelle et correcte avec les temps qu'il a?
Merci
Réponse: Correction-DM récit de voyage de alphonse46, postée le 03-01-2011 à 18:38:13 (S | E)
Bonjour, ecolefacile,
Lorsque qu'on parle d'évènements du passé,il est d'usage d'utiliser le prétérit.
Le 'present perfect' est utilisé lorsqu'on évoque une situation antérieure qui se poursuit aujourd'hui, ou qui est en relation étroite avec une situation présente.
L'ensemble du texte est rédigé au prétérit, donc pas d'inquiétude: sauf concernant ma dernière intervention, qui concernait le prétérit de 'to take'
Bonne continuation, et bonne année
Réponse: Correction-DM récit de voyage de ecolefacile, postée le 03-01-2011 à 19:35:59 (S | E)
Merci de ta réponse qui me soulage cette interrogation prend suite avec une discution avec d'autres camarade de ma classe qui l'ont utilisé.
Merci et bonne année
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