<< Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas
Expression écrite
Message de folk posté le 28-12-2010 à 12:11:27 (S | E | F)
Bonjour à tous .
Je poste ce sujet et mon expression écrite pour voir si j'ai des erreurs : voilà le sujet:
Write about one of your own dreams .
merci pour vos réponses
Voilà mon expression écrite en français , pour mieux visualiser;
merci.
Un soir, je dormais profondément, quand soudainement, je me suis retrouvée devant un miroir. Je paraissais avoir 10 ans plus. Pour m'en assurer j'ai regardé le calendrier, on été en 2025. Je ne comprenais pas ce qui m'arrivais , je ne savais pas quoi faire , ou aller. Soudainement une lumière apparu devant moi. Il se transforma en esprit. J'ai été figé. L'esprit m'adressa la parole: " te voila
vielle, si tu redevenir normal, tu dois faire une bonne action et je te laisserai tranquille.
L'esprit s' envola et j'ai vu le calendrier avancé, nous étions en 2035.
Ne voulant pas rester comme cela, . J'ai voulu revoir cet esprit pour qu'il me guide.
Mais soudainement, je me suis senti à bout de souffle, comme si je m'emportais. J'avais les mains tremblées. Quand soudain je tomba dans un trou noir.
Quand j'ai repris connaissance, j'avais remarqué que je n'étais pas dans le bon endroit. C'était un endroit entouré du miroir. Je me suis approché et je me suis vue dans le passé. Les miroirs montraient comment je me comportaient avec les personnes . Cela m'a choqué car je les rendais malheureux.
Une deuxième angoisse revint, je ressentis une atroce douleurs au ventre . Quand tout à coup il y eu une pluie de calendrier, cela annonçais 2045, 2046. Plus cela avançait et plus je me sentais malheureuse Je voulais arrêter ce rêve , alors j'ai crié haut et fort : " oui je reconnais mes erreurs , je veux les réparer . L'esprit réapparut " voila ce que je voulais entendre , je te laisse une seconde chance. L'esprit disparut , et tout redevenait normal.
Pour moi ce rêve ne peut pas se réaliser parce que je ne crois pas qu'un esprit peut nous blesser. Mais il y a des faits qui peuvent être réalisé : réparer les erreurs, avoir une deuxième chance font partie de la réalité. Alors pour moi cette histoire est l'irréelle et la réalité
en anglais :
One evening, I was sleeping deeply, when suddenly, here I was, in front of a mirror. I was looking ten years older . To reassure myself had a look at the calendar, we were in 2025.
I did not understand what had happened , I did not know what to do or where to go . Suddenly a light appeared in front of me. It was transformed into a spirit. I was frozen. The spirit talked to me " here you are old , if you want' to be young again, you have to do a good deed and I will leave you alone.
The spirit flew away and I saw the calendar moving on , we were in 2035.
Not wanting to stay like that . I would have liked to see the spirit back so that he could guide me. But suddenly, I felt breathless, as if I became enraged. I had my hands which were shaking . Then there was a black hole.
When I came around , I noticed that I was not in the right place. It was a place surrounded by mirrors. I approached and I saw myself .
The mirrors showed how i included with the persons . I was shocked i because unfortunate. A second anguish returned, i felt an excruciating pain in belly . Suddenly there was a rain of schedule, it announced 2045, 2046. Progressed and more this more I felt I wanted unfortunate stop this dream , then I shouted loud and clear: "yes I recognize my errors , want repair . The spirit reappeared " that is what I wanted to hear, , I let you a second chance. The spirit disappeared , and any recover normal.
For me this dream may not come true because I do not believe that a spirit can hurt us. But there are actions which can be done: to put our errors right, to have a second chance . Then for me this story shows the difference between what is real and what is unreal.
Merci encore!
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 28-12-2010 12:23
Message de folk posté le 28-12-2010 à 12:11:27 (S | E | F)
Bonjour à tous .
Je poste ce sujet et mon expression écrite pour voir si j'ai des erreurs : voilà le sujet:
Write about one of your own dreams .
merci pour vos réponses
Voilà mon expression écrite en français , pour mieux visualiser;
merci.
Un soir, je dormais profondément, quand soudainement, je me suis retrouvée devant un miroir. Je paraissais avoir 10 ans plus. Pour m'en assurer j'ai regardé le calendrier, on été en 2025. Je ne comprenais pas ce qui m'arrivais , je ne savais pas quoi faire , ou aller. Soudainement une lumière apparu devant moi. Il se transforma en esprit. J'ai été figé. L'esprit m'adressa la parole: " te voila
vielle, si tu redevenir normal, tu dois faire une bonne action et je te laisserai tranquille.
L'esprit s' envola et j'ai vu le calendrier avancé, nous étions en 2035.
Ne voulant pas rester comme cela, . J'ai voulu revoir cet esprit pour qu'il me guide.
Mais soudainement, je me suis senti à bout de souffle, comme si je m'emportais. J'avais les mains tremblées. Quand soudain je tomba dans un trou noir.
Quand j'ai repris connaissance, j'avais remarqué que je n'étais pas dans le bon endroit. C'était un endroit entouré du miroir. Je me suis approché et je me suis vue dans le passé. Les miroirs montraient comment je me comportaient avec les personnes . Cela m'a choqué car je les rendais malheureux.
Une deuxième angoisse revint, je ressentis une atroce douleurs au ventre . Quand tout à coup il y eu une pluie de calendrier, cela annonçais 2045, 2046. Plus cela avançait et plus je me sentais malheureuse Je voulais arrêter ce rêve , alors j'ai crié haut et fort : " oui je reconnais mes erreurs , je veux les réparer . L'esprit réapparut " voila ce que je voulais entendre , je te laisse une seconde chance. L'esprit disparut , et tout redevenait normal.
Pour moi ce rêve ne peut pas se réaliser parce que je ne crois pas qu'un esprit peut nous blesser. Mais il y a des faits qui peuvent être réalisé : réparer les erreurs, avoir une deuxième chance font partie de la réalité. Alors pour moi cette histoire est l'irréelle et la réalité
en anglais :
One evening, I was sleeping deeply, when suddenly, here I was, in front of a mirror. I was looking ten years older . To reassure myself had a look at the calendar, we were in 2025.
I did not understand what had happened , I did not know what to do or where to go . Suddenly a light appeared in front of me. It was transformed into a spirit. I was frozen. The spirit talked to me " here you are old , if you want' to be young again, you have to do a good deed and I will leave you alone.
The spirit flew away and I saw the calendar moving on , we were in 2035.
Not wanting to stay like that . I would have liked to see the spirit back so that he could guide me. But suddenly, I felt breathless, as if I became enraged. I had my hands which were shaking . Then there was a black hole.
When I came around , I noticed that I was not in the right place. It was a place surrounded by mirrors. I approached and I saw myself .
The mirrors showed how i included with the persons . I was shocked i because unfortunate. A second anguish returned, i felt an excruciating pain in belly . Suddenly there was a rain of schedule, it announced 2045, 2046. Progressed and more this more I felt I wanted unfortunate stop this dream , then I shouted loud and clear: "yes I recognize my errors , want repair . The spirit reappeared " that is what I wanted to hear, , I let you a second chance. The spirit disappeared , and any recover normal.
For me this dream may not come true because I do not believe that a spirit can hurt us. But there are actions which can be done: to put our errors right, to have a second chance . Then for me this story shows the difference between what is real and what is unreal.
Merci encore!
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 28-12-2010 12:23
Réponse: Expression écrite de alphonse46, postée le 28-12-2010 à 19:32:14 (S | E)
Goog evening
'pain in belly': I prefer: pain in my belly
'Progressed and more this more I felt I wanted unfortunate stop this dream': I think that is quite a disaster to write so! Who is the translator, an automatic one ?
I was shocked i because unfortunate: another original writing!
and any recover normal.?
Réponse: Expression écrite de dsmith, postée le 29-12-2010 à 04:36:01 (S | E)
Bonjour, Voila quelques corrections:
One evening, I was sleeping deeply, when suddenly, here I was, in front of a mirror. I was looking ten years older . To reassure myself had (où est le pronom sujet?) a look at the calendar, we were in 2025.
I did not understand what had happened , I did not know what to do or where to go . Suddenly a light appeared in front of me. It was transformed into a spirit. I was frozen. The spirit talked to me " here you are old , if you want
The spirit flew away and I saw the calendar moving on , we were in 2035.
Not wanting to stay like that . I would have liked to see the spirit back so that he could guide me. But suddenly, I felt breathless, as if I became enraged. I had my hands which were shaking . Then there was a black hole.
When I came around , I noticed that I was not in the right place. It was a place surrounded by mirrors. I approached and I saw myself .
The mirrors showed how i included with the persons . I was shocked i because unfortunate. A second anguish returned, i felt an excruciating pain in belly . Suddenly there was a rain of schedule, it announced 2045, 2046. Progressed and more this more I felt I wanted unfortunate stop this dream , then I shouted loud and clear: "yes I recognize my errors , want repair . The spirit reappeared " that is what I wanted to hear, , I let you a second chance. The spirit disappeared , and any recover normal. (Il faut complètement refaire cette partie)
For me this dream may not come true because I do not believe that a spirit can hurt us. But there are actions which can be done: to put our errors right, to have a second chance . Then for me this story shows the difference between what is real and what is unreal.
Réponse: Expression écrite de folk, postée le 29-12-2010 à 18:01:48 (S | E)
ok ok merci , je vais le refaire
sinon le reste vous semble t-il bien ?
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 29-12-2010 18:19
Réponse: Expression écrite de folk, postée le 29-12-2010 à 18:11:39 (S | E)
To reassure myself I had (où est le pronom sujet?) a look at the calendar, we were in 2025.
Réponse: Expression écrite de lucile83, postée le 29-12-2010 à 18:31:04 (S | E)
Hello,
Le pronom sujet est I, sujet de had.
Réponse: Expression écrite de folk, postée le 29-12-2010 à 23:43:28 (S | E)
Bonjour, voilà mon texte en français , et en anglais
J'ai été choquée par mon comportement car je rendais les gens malheureux . Tout à coup je vis une pluie de calendrier , il a annoncé 2045 , 2046.
J'ai regrettais. Je voulais arrêter ce rêve . J'ai crié " oui , je reconnais mes erreurs . L'esprit reapparu " voila ce je voulais entendre , je te laisse une dernière chance.
Tout est redevenu normal.
I had been stock by my behaviour , because I unhappy people. All of a sudden , there is a rain of calendar . I informed 2045 , 2046 . I wish . I wanted this dream . I had cried ' yes , I admits my mistake . The spirit reappeared . " That is , this I wanted hear , I must go a lucky last . The dream fade away
merci à bientot
Réponse: Expression écrite de folk, postée le 30-12-2010 à 10:55:34 (S | E)
voila j'ai revu mon texte :
One evening, I was sleeping deeply, when suddenly, here I was, in front of a mirror. I was looking ten years older . To reassure myself I had (où est le pronom sujet?) a look at the calendar, we were in 2025.
I did not understand what had happened , I did not know what to do or where to go . Suddenly a light appeared in front of me. It was transformed into a spirit. I was frozen. The spirit talked to me " here you are old , if you want' to be young again, you have to do a good deed and I will leave you alone.
The spirit flew away and I saw the calendar moving on , we were in 2035.
Not wanting to stay like that . I would have liked to see the spirit back so that he could guide me. But suddenly, I felt breathless, as if I became enraged. I had my hands which were shaking . Then there was a black hole.
When I came around , I noticed that I was not in the right place. It was a place surrounded by mirrors. I approached and I saw myself .
I was shocked because I had behaved so badly and made people so unhappy. All af a sudden it was raining calendars , we were in 2045, 2046 and so on.I really regretted behaving so badly and I wished this dream could stop. I screamed "yes I know I was wrong. Then the spirit came again "that's what I wanted to hear, I give you a last chance." and my dream faded out, I was safe an sound.
For me this dream may not come true because I do not believe that a spirit can hurt us. But there are actions which can be done: to put our errors right, to have a second chance . Then for me this story shows the difference between what is real and what is unreal.
Réponse: Expression écrite de folk, postée le 30-12-2010 à 13:05:24 (S | E)
merci de votre aide ,
mon texte doit faire normalement 200 mots mais cela n'est pas évident pour mon rêve , j'ai modifié certaine chose
j'aimerai vous le montrer
I was sleeping deeply, when suddenly, here I was, in front of a mirror. I was looking ten years older . To reassure myself I had a look at the calendar, we were in 2025.
I did not understand what had happened . Suddenly a light appeared in front of me. It was transformed into a spirit. I was frozen. The spirit talked to me " here you are old , if you want' to be young again, you have to do a good deed and I will leave you alone.
The spirit flew away and I saw the calendar moving on , we were in 2035.
Not wanting to stay like that . I would have liked to see the spirit back so that he could guide me. But suddenly, I felt breathless, as if I became enraged. I had my hands which were shaking . Then there was a black hole.
When I came around , I noticed that I was not in the right place. It was a place surrounded by mirrors. I approached and I saw myself .
I was shocked because I had behaved so badly and made people so unhappy. .I really regretted behaving so badly and I wished this dream could stop. I screamed "yes I know I was wrong. Then the spirit came again « All right, I give you a last chance."
this dream may not come true because I do not believe that a spirit can speak . So the calendar can't steal. Even if I dreamed several times about this dream, he can only be unreal.
merci
Réponse: Expression écrite de dsmith, postée le 30-12-2010 à 14:02:02 (S | E)
Bonjour,
I was sleeping deeply, when suddenly, here I was, in front of a mirror. I was looking ten years older . To reassure myself I had a look at the calendar, we were in 2025.
I did not understand what had happened . Suddenly a light appeared in front of me. It was transformed into a spirit. I was frozen. The spirit talked to me " here you are old , if you want'(pourquoi le ' ?) to be young again, you have to do a good deed and I will leave you alone. (ou est le deuxieme " à la fin?)
The spirit flew away and I saw the calendar moving on , we were in 2035.
Not wanting to stay like that . (pourquoi un . ici? ce n'est pas une phrase complète. peut être un ,?) I would have liked to see the spirit come back so that he could guide me. But suddenly, I felt breathless, as if I became enraged. I had my hands which were shaking . Then there was a black hole.
When I came around , I noticed that I was not in the right place. It was a place surrounded by mirrors. I approached and I saw myself .
I was shocked because I had behaved so badly and made people so unhappy. . (deux .??) I really regretted behaving so badly and I wished this dream could stop. I screamed "yes I know I was wrong. Then the spirit came again « All right, I give (you need the future tense here) you a last chance."
this (au debut d'une phrase il faut un majuscule) dream may not come true because I do not believe that a spirit can speak . So the calendar can't steal. Even if I dreamed several times about this dream, he can only be unreal. (je préfère "he can't be real"
Réponse: Expression écrite de folk, postée le 30-12-2010 à 15:01:51 (S | E)
All right, I will give
Réponse: Expression écrite de folk, postée le 30-12-2010 à 15:03:30 (S | E)
pour 2025 , c'est mieux de mettre comme cela ou en lettre ?
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 30-12-2010 15:15
Réponse: Expression écrite de lysflower, postée le 30-12-2010 à 17:05:01 (S | E)
ON ETE EN 2025
correction : On ETAIT en 2025
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 30-12-2010 17:19
Il s'agit ici surtout de corriger l'anglais; merci quand même, mais il y en a beaucoup d'autres....
Quant à 2025/2035 je laisserais en chiffres.
Réponse: Expression écrite de alphonse46, postée le 30-12-2010 à 18:39:47 (S | E)
Good evening,folk
I was sleeping deeply, when suddenly, here
I was,(choose another verb) in front of a mirror. I was looking ten years older . To(choose another way to say 'pour') reassure myself I had a look at the calendar, we were in 2025.I did not understand what had happened. Suddenly a light appeared in front of me. It was transformed(tense) into a spirit. I was frozen. The spirit talked to me " here you are old , if you want to be young again,( redevenir) you have to do a good deed and I will leave you alone.Why alone?
The spirit flew away and I saw the calendar moving on , we were in 2035.
Not wanting to stay like that .( or:',') I would have liked(tense) to see the spirit back so that he could guide me. But suddenly, I felt breathless, as if I became enraged. I had my hands which were shaking( choose a simple way to say that) . Then there was a black hole.
When I came around , I noticed that I was not in the right place. It(the right place?) was a place surrounded by mirrors. I approached (what?) and I saw myself
(how could you see yourself?) .I was shocked because I had behaved so badly and made people so unhappy. .I really regretted (behaving so badly, just after :behaved so badly) and I wished this dream could stop. I screamed "yes I know I was wrong. Then the spirit came again « All right, I give you a last chance."
this dream may not come
true because I do not believe that a spirit can speak . So the calendar can't steal( complete your idea). Even if I dreamed several times about this dream,( dream just after dreamed) he( who?) can only be(tense) unreal.Réponse: Expression écrite de folk, postée le 30-12-2010 à 19:51:37 (S | E)
merci des réponses . J'ai corrigé ce que je pouvais .Merci bonne soirée .
I was sleeping deeply, when suddenly, I found in front of a mirror. I was looking ten years older . For reassure myself I had a look at the calendar, we were in 2025.
I did not understand what had happened . Suddenly a light appeared in front of me. it turned
into a spirit. I was frozen. The spirit talked to me " here you are old , if you want to be young again, you have to do a good deed and I will leave you quiet.
The spirit flew away and I saw the calendar moving on , we were in 2035.
Not wanting to stay like that I wanted to see the spirit come back so that he could guide me. But suddenly, I felt breathless, as if I became enraged. I had my hands which were shaking . Then there was a black hole.
When I came around , I noticed that I was not in the right place. It was a place surrounded by mirrors. I approached and I saw myself in the mirror,
I was shocked because I had behaved so badly and made people so unhappy. . I really regretted behaving so badly and I wished this dream could stop. I screamed "yes I know I was wrong. Then the spirit came again « All right, I will give you a last chance."
This dream may not come true because I do not believe that a spirit can speak . So the calendar can't steal. Even if I dreamed several times, he can't be real .
Réponse: Expression écrite de folk, postée le 30-12-2010 à 20:02:19 (S | E)
j'ai modifié :
This dream may not come true because I do not believe that spirits can speak . So the calendar can't fly. even if that dream occurs a lot of times, I know it can only be unreal.
Réponse: Expression écrite de may, postée le 31-12-2010 à 03:24:04 (S | E)
Bonsoir,
Quelques suggestions:
I found myself in front of a mirror.
ou when suddenly, here I was, in front of a mirror (OK)
For TO reassure myself...
Suddenly a light appeared in front of me. it turned (passive voice) into a spirit.
you have to do a good deed and I will leave you quiet in peace.
Not wanting to stay like that COMMA I wanted to see the spirit come back...
I felt breathless/ hardly to breath
(I had) my hands (which) were shaking . COMMA Then there was a black hole.
This dream may not (come) true because I do not believe that spirits can speak . COMMA (So) also the calendar can't fly. even if that dream occurs a lot of times, I know it (can only be unreal) it could not be real.
Best wishes!
Réponse: Expression écrite de notrepere, postée le 31-12-2010 à 03:48:53 (S | E)
Hello!I was looking ten years older.
Here, the verb "look" is used as a non-continuous verb, so you must use the preterit.
I looked ten years older.
Here are some other examples: Lien Internet
* Nancy looks tired. Non-Continuous Verb
She seems tired.
* Farah is looking at the pictures. Normal Verb
She is looking with her eyes.
Réponse: Expression écrite de folk, postée le 31-12-2010 à 11:03:21 (S | E)
Bonjour , j'ai corrigé . Merci
I was sleeping deeply, when suddenly, I found myself in front of a mirror. I looked ten years older . To reassure myself I had a look at the calendar, we were in 2025.
I did not understand what had happened . Suddenly a light appeared in front of me. it turned
into a spirit. I was frozen. The spirit talked to me " here you are old , if you want to be young again, you have to do a good deed and I will leave you in peace.
The spirit flew away and I saw the calendar moving on , we were in 2035.
Not wanting to stay like that , I wanted to see the spirit come back so that he could guide me. But suddenly, I felt breathless, as if I became enraged. My hands were shaking ,then there was a black hole.
When I came around , I noticed that I was not in the right place. It was a place surrounded by mirrors. I approached and I saw myself in the mirror,
I was shocked because I had behaved so badly and made people so unhappy. . I really regretted behaving so badly and I wished this dream could stop. I screamed "yes I know I was wrong. Then the spirit came again « All right, I will give you a last chance."
This dream may not come true because I do not believe that spirits can speak , also the calendar can't fly. Even if that dream occurs a lot of times, I know it could not be real.
Réponse: Expression écrite de may, postée le 31-12-2010 à 21:22:05 (S | E)
Bonjour,
It's very good then, just a small touch:
This dream may not (come) be true...
Happy New Year
Réponse: Expression écrite de folk, postée le 01-01-2011 à 19:15:25 (S | E)
tkank you ,
happy new year
<< Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais
