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Message de cecile17 posté le 21-12-2010 à 14:00:33 (S | E | F)
Bonjour à tous!
Voilà, je dois écrire un essai en anglais sur le sujet suivant:
The Consumer Society. According to you, as a teenager, how difficult is it to resist temptation?
Voici ce que j'ai fait, pouvez-vous m'indiquer mes fautes ainsi que les tournures à revoir s'il vous plaît? Je pense qu'il y a pas mal de maladresses... J'ai aussi mis entre parenthèses plusieurs expressions, pouvez-vous me dire lesquelles conviendraient le mieux?
Merci beaucoup!
Nowadays, especially in the Developed Countries, the consumer society and (the purchasing/spending power) allow a lot of people to buy objects they don’t really need. This phenomenon can be explained by the outstanding measures (displayed/set up) by companies to attract people and by our way of living.
What should be established at the very outset is that teenagers are said to be the main target, because they can not only buy with their pin money but they can also push their parents into purchasing. According to a survey published in 2004 by the CRIOC (Centre de Recherche et d’Information des Organisations de Consommateurs), nine teenagers out of ten assert that they prod their parents into putting items in the trolley. Furthermore, 84% of the asked parents claim that they cave in.
On the other hand, companies spend a lot of money for advertisements. These are ubiquitous: at television, on the posters… and they vie to outdo each other in creativeness. They represent a very efficient sale argument because they attempt to appeal to us with eye-catching (mottos/slogans). For instance, commercials become short movies with stories and well-known actors, such as Nespresso’s advertisement.
As a matter of fact, the Western world is affected by the future’s doubtfulness, generated for example by the globalization. We live in a society of fear so teenagers are looking for stability and valour. That’s why commercials deal with happy families or couples: to make people believe they’ll be glad if they own this objects.
Indeed, commercials not only enhance items’ fullness, but they also embody a(sitter/a model). Objects are just an excuse to purchase: in reality we just pursue happiness. We aim at buying a thing in particular because we thing it could bring us something in our lives, towards the others. For example, we can search clothes because we’re run out of them but especially because we are looking for beautiful clothes, in the order to please people.
This fact can (account for/expand) why teenagers are said to be the main target. They are the most confronted with the group’s pressure. For fear of being excluded, they (seek to/hunt for) own(ing) the same things than the others. This fashion phenomenon (hit/affect) all the more teenagers and companies take advantages of it. They try to broadcast ways of live to entice teenagers into buying.
However, they not even use commercials to convince consumers. They realize market surveys or polls aiming at prospective consumers. For instance, they target teenagers in the street or at the exit of school, where the group’s pressure is the most influent. They try to be acquainted with consumer habits to design appealing products.
Moreover, there are good reasons to purchase objects: technology allows a continual renewal and objects change all the time, which makes us wanting a new one. In addition, Purchasing becomes so easy: in the today’s world, we can just buy from our computer and the object is delivered to our home.
At the end of the day, it must be acknowledged that consumers and principally teenagers can be tempted by the consumer society by various forms. The advertising blitz makes us believe that purchasing is without repercussions. Concerning teenagers, my own view of this is that prevention campaigns should be set up to teach them how to resist temptation and to avert an addiction.
Réponse: Rédaction-Société de consommation de notrepere, postée le 22-12-2010 à 19:49:34 (S | E)
Hello
Nowadays, especially in the Developed Countries, the consumer society and
What should be established at the very outset is that teenagers are said to be the main target, because they can not only buy with their pin money but they can also push their parents into purchasing. According to a survey published in 2004 by the CRIOC (Centre de Recherche et d’Information des Organisations de Consommateurs), nine teenagers out of ten assert that they prod their parents into putting items in the trolley. Furthermore, 84% of the
On the other hand, companies spend a lot of money for advertisements. These are ubiquitous: at [pas le bon adjectif] television, on the posters… and they vie to outdo each other in creativeness. They represent a very efficient sale argument because they attempt to appeal to us with eye-catching slogans. For instance, commercials become short movies with stories
As a matter of fact, the Western world is affected by the future’s doubtfulness ['uncertainty of what the future holds' est mieux], generated for example by
Indeed, commercials not only enhance items’ fullness, but they also embody a(sitter/a model). [Ce n'a pas de sens] Objects are just an excuse to purchase: in reality we are just pursuing happiness. We aim at buying a thing in particular because we thing it could bring us something in our lives, towards the others .
Réponse: Rédaction-Société de consommation de cecile17, postée le 22-12-2010 à 20:58:51 (S | E)
Hello!
Thanks for your help!
Voici ce que je propose:
- pour le present perfect: Furthermore, 84% of parents surveyed claim that they have caved in.
- These are ubiquitous: on the television...
-... they'll be glad if they own these objects.
- Pour la phrase suivante, je voulais dire que les publicités ne cherchent plus seulement à montrer l'utilité ou la qualité d'un produit, mais qu'elles essaient aussi de véhiculer des modèles, des modes de vie... Je ne sais pas trop comment m'éloigner de la traduction littérale... Peut-être:
"Commercials not only promote the qualities of the products but their values as well", pour alléger un peu?
- we think, faute de frappe
- pour "towards the others", je voulais dire "par rapport aux autres" ou "dans notre relation avec les autres". Littéralement cela donnerait "in our relationship with the others" mais je ne sais pas du tout si cela se dit... ou bien "in relation to the others" ou "in contact with the others"?
Réponse: Rédaction-Société de consommation de notrepere, postée le 22-12-2010 à 22:24:12 (S | E)
Hello again
pour le present perfect: Furthermore, 84% of parents surveyed claim that they have caved in. oui
- These are ubiquitous: on the television... oui
-... they'll be glad if they own these objects. oui
- Pour la phrase suivante, je voulais dire que les publicités ne cherchent plus seulement à montrer l'utilité ou la qualité d'un produit, mais qu'elles essaient aussi de véhiculer des modèles, des modes de vie... Je ne sais pas trop comment m'éloigner de la traduction littérale... Peut-être:
"Commercials not only promote the qualities of the products but their values as well", pour alléger un peu? Je dirais: Commercials not only show the usefulness and quality of the products, but they also try to convey a message on how to live.
- we think, faute de frappe oui
- pour "towards the others", je voulais dire "par rapport aux autres" ou "dans notre relation avec les autres". Littéralement cela donnerait "in our relationship with the others" mais je ne sais pas du tout si cela se dit... ou bien "in relation to the others" ou "in contact with the others"?
We aim at buying things in particular because we think it could bring fulfillment to our lives and acceptance by others.
Réponse: Rédaction-Société de consommation de cecile17, postée le 23-12-2010 à 09:01:34 (S | E)
Hello!
Merci beaucoup, je garde vos suggestions!
Par contre, avez-vous jeté un coup d'oeil à la deuxième partie?
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