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Help/ expression écrite
Message de iwanloiso posté le 09-12-2010 à 20:34:18 (S | E | F)
Bonsoir à tous,
j'ai un niveau tres faible en anglais et j'ai une expression écrite à rendre; je ne suis pas sûr de moi au niveau de l' orthographe et surtout de la syntaxe.
Pourriez-vous corriger mon devoir s'il vous plaît ?
Merci d'avance.
The scene take place in London. A girl alone at home looks at his new neighboors move in to their new home and she left to say it to his father.His father was seated next to the bar and he was reading the newspaper of his home country who was Poland who he has left to come to leave in London during the 2nd mondial wars
The father of the girl seems attached to his home country because he reads the newspapers of this country.
Moreover although it did decide to put the wars behind him by leaving his country he should probably think about it often, the father inquired for news of this country which proves that the father like his country is that it belongs to all who remember him as the smell of borscht and pierogi, the dark paneling hung with Polish folk art, and the company of buxom waitresses with hennaed hair.
To me,I think it's normal to be attached to his home country when he was leaving it because it's a part of us that we leave.It's difficult to leave the country of childhood, to forget his family, roots and culture. Moreover, it must be difficult to come and to live in a new country where we don't speak the nationnal language and we don't know the customs and the cultures.
The actitud of the father is quite understandable to me because if i had to leave my home country,leave my family and my customs, it would be very difficult
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Modifié par lucile83 le 09-12-2010 20:41
Message de iwanloiso posté le 09-12-2010 à 20:34:18 (S | E | F)
Bonsoir à tous,
j'ai un niveau tres faible en anglais et j'ai une expression écrite à rendre; je ne suis pas sûr de moi au niveau de l' orthographe et surtout de la syntaxe.
Pourriez-vous corriger mon devoir s'il vous plaît ?
Merci d'avance.
The scene take place in London. A girl alone at home looks at his new neighboors move in to their new home and she left to say it to his father.His father was seated next to the bar and he was reading the newspaper of his home country who was Poland who he has left to come to leave in London during the 2nd mondial wars
The father of the girl seems attached to his home country because he reads the newspapers of this country.
Moreover although it did decide to put the wars behind him by leaving his country he should probably think about it often, the father inquired for news of this country which proves that the father like his country is that it belongs to all who remember him as the smell of borscht and pierogi, the dark paneling hung with Polish folk art, and the company of buxom waitresses with hennaed hair.
To me,I think it's normal to be attached to his home country when he was leaving it because it's a part of us that we leave.It's difficult to leave the country of childhood, to forget his family, roots and culture. Moreover, it must be difficult to come and to live in a new country where we don't speak the nationnal language and we don't know the customs and the cultures.
The actitud of the father is quite understandable to me because if i had to leave my home country,leave my family and my customs, it would be very difficult
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Modifié par lucile83 le 09-12-2010 20:41
Réponse: Help/ expression écrite de gerondif, postée le 10-12-2010 à 00:41:47 (S | E)
Bonsoir,
Spaina 56 (WWII) sur ce forum travaille sur le même texte ou film que vous. L'extrait sur le borscht est identique.
vert: correction offerte. bleu:à corriger
The scene take(s de troisième perosonne) place in London. A girl alone at home looks(is watching irait mieux en effet au sens de surveiller les mouvements de) at his new neighboors move(moving s'ils sont en train de le faire, move si vous regardez l'opération du début à la fin) into their new home and she left(temps) to say(say ou tell?) it to his(c'est une fille) father.His father was seated next to the bar and he was reading the newspaper of his home country who was Poland who he has left to come to leave in London during the 2nd mondial wars
The father of the girl seems attached to his home country because he reads the newspapers of this country.
Moreover although it did decide to put the wars behind him by leaving his country he should(plutôt must) probably think about it often, the father inquired for news of this country,(virgule) which(ce which résume ce qui précède, what annoncerait ce qui va suivre) proves that the father like(s) his country is that it belongs to all who remember him (sens?)as the smell of borscht and pierogi, the dark paneling hung with Polish folk art, and the company of buxom waitresses with hennaed hair.
To me,I think it's normal for him to be attached to his home country when he was leaving it because it's a part of us that we leave.It's difficult for him to leave the country of his childhood, to forget his family, roots and culture. Moreover, it must be difficult to come and to live in a new country where we(j'aurais mis you) don't speak the nationnal language and we don't know the customs and the cultures.
The actitud of the father is quite understandable to me because if I had to leave my home country,leave my family and my customs, it would be very difficult.
Réponse: Help/ expression écrite de dsmith, postée le 10-12-2010 à 03:46:14 (S | E)
Hello,
Here are some other suggestions:
...watches her new neighbors (that's the American spelling - I think it is different in Britain) move into ... or you can say
...looks at her new neighbors moving into... (je ne peux pas exprimer une règle pour ça
Pour moi "to watch" est pour les choses qui bougent - you watch a film, you watch a play, you watch a child. Look at is generally for things that don't move - you look at a painting, you look at the scratch on your new car, you look at the price of the book...)Girl...her - needs to correspond.
"should probably" or "must probably" - I think these are redundant. "he must think about it often" or "he probably thinks about it often" - you don't need both words.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 10-12-2010 07:55
Neighbours in British English.
Réponse: Help/ expression écrite de iwanloiso, postée le 10-12-2010 à 12:06:24 (S | E)
Bonjour,je vous remercie tous les deux pour votre aide précieuse qui ne me sera que bénéfique.
Bon week-end et encore merci
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Modifié par lucile83 le 10-12-2010 12:10
+ ponctuation
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