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Essai /structure - grammaire
Message de calm posté le 09-12-2010 à 14:05:44 (S | E | F)
Bonjour à tous,
Merci d'avance pour ceux, celui ou celle qui auront le courage de regarder cet essai.
Toutes vos remarques m'intérressent (répétitions, fautes d'orthographe, grammaire, structure de l'essai, règle du verbe de modalité)
Je vous en remecie d'avance
As far I am concerned, I like to have the help of my parents for importants decisions I have to make.
However, most of people, particularly teenagers like to have independence in their own life and make their way alone.
To my mind, that’s necessary to have the opinion of your parents or persons with more maturity when you have to make some difficult and real important choices in your life.
For example, the experience of your parents can be welcomed for orientation’s questions or doubts about your future life or carrer. This maturity about life is often useful and important when you have serious and important problems like to be involved in a racket story or to be hurted by another teenager.
Furthermore, you can pay for attention to those advices for little steps you have to reach/overcome in your daily life.
That’s always beneficial to have the opinion of your parents for question you can have about your school’s friends, your extracurricular activities.
Nevertheless, concerning little problems or questions, you have to be able to make decisions by yourself. That’s important to have more maturity and to be independent in your future life.
Moreover, you have to listen advices but make decisions to your way and will.
That’s important for maturity but also because your parents can be wrong and can involuntary influence you in a wrong way.
That’s why you must keep your freedom of opinion and speech.
As a conclusion, i think parent’s opinions are important to develop your critical mind and to help you for difficult choices or serious problem.
But for me, you just have to listen and think about those advices.
Enjoying experiences of adults but make in your way!
Privacy and independance are important
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 09-12-2010 18:36
Message de calm posté le 09-12-2010 à 14:05:44 (S | E | F)
Bonjour à tous,
Merci d'avance pour ceux, celui ou celle qui auront le courage de regarder cet essai.
Toutes vos remarques m'intérressent (répétitions, fautes d'orthographe, grammaire, structure de l'essai, règle du verbe de modalité)
Je vous en remecie d'avance
As far I am concerned, I like to have the help of my parents for importants decisions I have to make.
However, most of people, particularly teenagers like to have independence in their own life and make their way alone.
To my mind, that’s necessary to have the opinion of your parents or persons with more maturity when you have to make some difficult and real important choices in your life.
For example, the experience of your parents can be welcomed for orientation’s questions or doubts about your future life or carrer. This maturity about life is often useful and important when you have serious and important problems like to be involved in a racket story or to be hurted by another teenager.
Furthermore, you can pay for attention to those advices for little steps you have to reach/overcome in your daily life.
That’s always beneficial to have the opinion of your parents for question you can have about your school’s friends, your extracurricular activities.
Nevertheless, concerning little problems or questions, you have to be able to make decisions by yourself. That’s important to have more maturity and to be independent in your future life.
Moreover, you have to listen advices but make decisions to your way and will.
That’s important for maturity but also because your parents can be wrong and can involuntary influence you in a wrong way.
That’s why you must keep your freedom of opinion and speech.
As a conclusion, i think parent’s opinions are important to develop your critical mind and to help you for difficult choices or serious problem.
But for me, you just have to listen and think about those advices.
Enjoying experiences of adults but make in your way!
Privacy and independance are important
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 09-12-2010 18:36
Réponse: Essai /structure - grammaire de laure95, postée le 09-12-2010 à 15:16:59 (S | E)
Bonjour,
Voici ce que tu dois corriger:
As far I am concerned, I like to have the help of my parents for importants (les adjectifs sont invariables!) decisions I have to make.
However, most of people (most of the people ou most people), particularly teenagers like to have their independence
To my mind, that’s necessary to have the opinion of your parents or persons (people) with (faire une subordonnée: qui ont...) more maturity when you have to make some difficult and real important choices in your life.
For example, the experience of your parents can be welcomed for orientation
Furthermore, you can pay
That’s always beneficial to have the opinion of your parents for the question (mettre au pluriel) you can have about your school
Nevertheless, concerning little problems or questions, you have to be able to make decisions by yourself. That’s important to have more maturity and to be independent in your future life.
Moreover, you have to listen to advices but make decisions to your way and will.
That’s important for maturity but also because your parents can be wrong and can involuntary influence you in a wrong way.
That’s why you must keep your freedom of opinion and speech.
As a conclusion, i think parent’s (orthographe) opinions are important to develop your critical mind and to help you for difficult choices or serious problem (pluriel).
But for me, you just have to listen and think about those advices.
Enjoying experiences of adults but make in your way!
Privacy and independance are important
Attention! Répétition de "important", "opinion", "maturity", "that's important".
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