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Message de presc59 posté le 15-11-2010 à 14:42:15 (S | E | F)
^Bonjour,
J'ai du rédiger une lettre commerciale destiné à des personnes de l'entreprise, et j'aimerais que l'on m'aide à corriger mes erreurs en anglais.
Merci. Je l'ai mise en français et anglais.
ANZ
56 ST Paul Street
Rondwick 2031
NSW Australia
Chères collaborateurs, collaboratrices
Suite à la demande de collègues et après avoir discuter avec les syndicats. Nous avons décider d’encourager la flexibilité au travail.
Nous proposons donc aux employés du secteur stratégie et développement de travailler de un à trois jours par semaine à leur domicile.
Les employés intéressés par cette proposition sont invités à une réunion organisée par le directeur Général :
Le 3 septembre 2008
A 10 heures (du matin) dans la salle de réunion du troisième étage.
Durant cette réunion, vous serez informé des nouvelles conditions de travail.
Le choix reviendra donc à chacun de décider combien de jour par semaine. Il/Elle souhaite travailler à son domicile. Cette décision devra être prise avant le 31 décembre 2008.
J’espère que ces nouvelles dispositions conviendront à un grand nombre et se feront au bénéfice de l’entreprise.
Formule de politesse
La voici:
ANZ
56 ST Paul Street
Rondwick 2031
NSW Australia
28 august 2008
Dear collaborators,
Work flexibility.
Following the request of colleagues and after discussions with the syndicate, we decided to encourage workplace flexibility.
We suggest to employees of development and strategy sector to working one the three days per week at home.
Employees interested in this proposal are invited to meeting organized by The Chief Executive Officer:
3, September 2008
At 10:00 AM in the meeting room of the third floor.
During this meeting, you will be informed of new working conditions.
The choice to return the individual to decide how many days per week you want to work at home. This decision will be taken before on 31, December 2008.
I hope that these new provisions will suit many and will benefit of the company.
Please, let me know your decision as soon as possible. I look forward to hearing from you.
Yours sincerely
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 17-11-2010 08:45
Réponse: Rédiger une lettre commerciale de notrepere, postée le 17-11-2010 à 05:18:58 (S | E)
Hello!
Dear collaborators [mauvaise traduction],
Work flexibility.
Following the request of colleagues and after discussions with the syndicate [mauvaise traduction], we decided to encourage workplace flexibility.
We suggest [mauvaise traduction car elle a le sens de suggérer] (to) (that) employees of [article défini] development and strategy sector to working [temps: au présent] from one the [mauvaise traduction: une préposition] three days per week at home.
Employees interested in this proposal are invited to [un article indéfini] meeting organized by The Chief Executive Officer:
3, September 2008
At 10:00 AM in the meeting room of [mauvaise traduction; une autre préposition] the third floor.
During this meeting, you will be informed of the new working conditions.
The choice to return the individual [à refaire] to decide how many days per week you want to work at home. This decision will be taken [mauvaise traduction] before
I hope that these new provisions will suit many and will benefit
Please, let me know your decision as soon as possible. I look forward to hearing from you.
Yours sincerely
Réponse: Rédiger une lettre commerciale de presc59, postée le 17-11-2010 à 13:40:40 (S | E)
J'ai corrigé mes erreurs à par deux car je ne vois pas ce que je peux mettreà la place.
Peut tu me dire si j'ai bien corrigé?
Merci
Dear collaborators [mauvaise traduction],
Work flexibility.
Following the request of colleagues and after discussions with the syndicate [mauvaise traduction], we decided to encourage workplace flexibility.
We propose that employees of the development and strategy sector to work from one into three days per week at home.
Employees interested in this proposal are invited to a meeting organized by The Chief Executive Officer:
3, September 2008
At 10:00 AM in the meeting room from the third floor.
During this meeting, you will be informed of the new working conditions.
The choice will be up to each individual to decide how many days per week you want to work at home. This decision must be made before 31, December 2008.
I hope that these new provisions will suit many and will benefit (of) the company.
Please, let me know your decision as soon as possible. I look forward to hearing from you.
Yours sincerely
Réponse: Rédiger une lettre commerciale de notrepere, postée le 17-11-2010 à 16:56:39 (S | E)
Hello!
Merci de consulter un dictionnaire comme ceci:
Lien Internet
Et après, rédigez une autre proposition.
Cordialement
Réponse: Rédiger une lettre commerciale de presc59, postée le 17-11-2010 à 17:12:09 (S | E)
J'ai corrigé mes erreurs
Peut tu me dire si cela est bon Merci
Dear member of staff,
Work flexibility.
Following the request of colleagues and after discussions with tourist office, we decided to encourage workplace flexibility.
We propose that employees of the development and strategy sector to work from one into three days per week at home.
Employees interested in this proposal are invited to a meeting organized by The Chief Executive Officer:
3, September 2008
At 10:00 AM in the meeting room from the third floor.
During this meeting, you will be informed of the new working conditions.
The choice will be up to each individual to decide how many days per week you want to work at home. This decision must be made before 31, December 2008.
I hope that these new provisions will suit many and will benefit the company.
Please, let me know your decision as soon as possible. I look forward to hearing from you.
Yours sincerely
Réponse: Rédiger une lettre commerciale de notrepere, postée le 17-11-2010 à 20:09:36 (S | E)
Hello!
Dear member of staff,
Work flexibility.
Following the request of colleagues and after discussions with tourist office [non, je suggère: 'the labour-union' ou juste 'the union'], we decided to encourage workplace flexibility.
We propose that employees of the development and strategy sector
Employees interested in this proposal are invited to a meeting organized by The Chief Executive Officer:
3, September 2008 [The date format is incorrect]
At 10:00 AM in the meeting room on the third floor.
During this meeting, you will be informed of the new working conditions.
The choice will be up to each individual to decide how many days per week you want to work at home. This decision must be made before 31, December 2008 [format incorrect].
I hope that these new provisions will suit many and will benefit the company.
Please, let me know your decision as soon as possible. I look forward to hearing from you.
Yours sincerely
-------------------
Modifié par notrepere le 17-11-2010 20:10
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