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Correction of a text
Message de aureliie59 posté le 17-10-2010 à 15:10:05 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
voila j'ai un texte à faire en anglais et vu que j'ai déjà une très mauvaise note 
j'aimerais me rattraper.
Donc si vous pouvezme corriger mes erreurs ce serait sympa. Merci
A couple of years ago, I decided to practise gymnastics. When I told my parents about my idea of doing that sport, they are enthusiastic and encouraged me. In fact, some days later I joined a club.
After several training, the handler suggested me to do sporting events. I was very happy. He asked for my parents and they was okay, as long as I worked in school.
Some months after I competed ahead hundreds of persons although I was shy. We went in normandie, in Amiens..to do sporting events. We slept in hotel because it was a long way.
I hurt my ankle, my wrist..but I continued that sport because I love gymnastics.
Unfortunately, I hurt my arm and I hadplaster cast. I not was able to train while one month. After i not resumed gymnastic due to several reasons.
However I have ten years of goog memorabilia.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 17-10-2010 15:11
Message de aureliie59 posté le 17-10-2010 à 15:10:05 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
j'aimerais me rattraper. Donc si vous pouvez
A couple of years ago, I decided to practise gymnastics. When I told my parents about my idea of doing that sport, they are enthusiastic and encouraged me. In fact, some days later I joined a club.
After several training, the handler suggested me to do sporting events. I was very happy. He asked for my parents and they was okay, as long as I worked in school.
Some months after I competed ahead hundreds of persons although I was shy. We went in normandie, in Amiens..to do sporting events. We slept in hotel because it was a long way.
I hurt my ankle, my wrist..but I continued that sport because I love gymnastics.
Unfortunately, I hurt my arm and I hadplaster cast. I not was able to train while one month. After i not resumed gymnastic due to several reasons.
However I have ten years of goog memorabilia.
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 17-10-2010 15:11
Réponse: Correction of a text de gerondif, postée le 17-10-2010 à 15:45:26 (S | E)
Bonjour,
votre texte est comme votre cheville, il casse net à la fin, l'hypoglycémie ruine vos deux dernières lignes !!
A couple of years ago, I decided to practise gymnastics. When I told my parents about my idea of doing that sport, they are(prétérit !) enthusiastic and encouraged me. In fact, some days later I joined a club.
After several (months of )training (pour éviter de mettre training au pluriel après several), the handler(le manipulateur ?) suggested me to do sporting events. I was very happy. He asked
Some months after, I competed ahead of hundreds of persons (au pluriel, l'anglais met plutôt people) although I was shy. We went in(déplacement, donc in ne va ps) Normandie, in Amiens..to do sporting events. We slept in hotels because it was a long way.
I hurt my ankle, my wrist..but I continued that sport because I love gymnastics.
Unfortunately, I hurt my arm and I had a plaster cast. I not was (dans l'autre sens)able to train while(conjonction, pendant que trouvez la préposition pendant + une durée , en trois lettres!!) one month. After that (jamais after tout seul), i not resumed (conjuguez correctement ce prétérit négatif)gymnastic due to several reasons.
However I have ten years of goog memorabilia.( mauvais choix)
1) He went to the USA and brought me back this T-shirt as a souvenir.
2) I remember that school-trip ! It's a nice memory.
3) My neighbour collects all sorts of memorabilia from the second world war like guns, grenades .....Blawam ! Oh dear !
( Choisissez le bon)
Réponse: Correction of a text de aureliie59, postée le 17-10-2010 à 16:12:44 (S | E)
J'ai corrigé le texte, j'obtient ceci:
A couple of years ago, I decided to practise gymnastics. When I told my parents about my idea of doing that sport, they were enthusiastic and encouraged me. In fact, some days later I joined a club.
After several months of training, the coach suggested me to do sporting events. I was very happy. He asked for my parents and they were okay, as long as I worked at school.
Some months after, I competed ahead of hundreds of people although I was shy. We went to(déplacement, donc in ne va ps) Normandie, to Amiens..to do sporting events. We slept in hotels because it was a long way.
I hurt my ankle, my wrist..but I continued that sport because I love gymnastics.
Unfortunately, I hurt my arm and I had a plaster cast. I was not (dans l'autre sens)able to train for(conjonction, pendant que trouvez la préposition pendant + une durée , en trois lettres!!) one month. After that (jamais after tout seul), i resumed not (conjuguez correctement ce prétérit négatif)gymnastic due to several reasons.
However I have ten years of good memory.( mauvais choix)
Merci de votre aide en tout cas
Réponse: Correction of a text de gerondif, postée le 17-10-2010 à 16:20:53 (S | E)
Hello again,
petit travail sur la concordance des temps:
Donc si vous pouvez me corriger mes erreurs ce sera sympa.
Donc si vous pouviez me corriger mes erreurs ce serait sympa.
A couple of years ago, I decided to practise gymnastics. When I told my parents about my idea of doing that sport, they were enthusiastic and encouraged me. In fact, some days later I joined a club.
After several months of training, the coach suggested me to do (construction maladroite, the coach asked me to do, told me to do, advised me to do iront mais je pense que suggested est plus compliqué à manipuler, he suggested that I should do... ou alors he suggested to me to do sporting events)sporting events. I was very happy. He asked for my parents and they were okay (un peu populaire, essayez le verbe to agree), as long as I worked at school.
Some months after, I competed ahead of hundreds of people although I was shy. We went to Normandie, to Amiens..to do sporting events. We slept in hotels because it was a long way.
I hurt my ankle, my wrist..but I continued that sport because I love gymnastics.
Unfortunately, I hurt my arm and I had a plaster cast. I was not able to train for(one month. After that I resumed not (conjuguez correctement ce prétérit négatif en passant l'auxiliaire do au prétérit....)gymnastic due to several reasons.
However I have ten years of good memory(pluriel!).
Réponse: Correction of a text de aureliie59, postée le 17-10-2010 à 16:32:23 (S | E)
A couple of years ago, I decided to practise gymnastics. When I told my parents about my idea of doing that sport, they were enthusiastic and encouraged me. In fact, some days later I joined a club.
After several months of training, the coach suggested to me to do sporting events.I was very happy. He asked for my parents and they agreed, as long as I worked at school.
Some months after, I competed ahead of hundreds of people although I was shy. We went to Normandie, to Amiens..to do sporting events. We slept in hotels because it was a long way.
I hurt my ankle, my wrist..but I continued that sport because I love gymnastics.
Unfortunately, I hurt my arm and I had a plaster cast. I was not able to train for one month. After that I did not resume gymnastic due to several reasons.
However I have ten years of good any memory.
Réponse: Correction of a text de gerondif, postée le 17-10-2010 à 16:41:23 (S | E)
A couple of years ago, I decided to practise gymnastics. When I told my parents about my idea of doing that sport, they were enthusiastic and encouraged me. In fact, some days later I joined a club.
After several months of training, the coach suggested to me to do sporting events.I was very happy. He asked for (réclamer quelque chose, supprimez le for)my parents and they agreed, as long as I worked at school.
Some months after, I competed ahead of (ah, je viens de comprendre votre phrase! ahead of signifie devant au sens où vous êtes le premier de la course, in front of signifie devant un public donc à corriger)hundreds of people although I was shy. We went to Normandie, to Amiens..to do sporting events. We slept in hotels because it was a long way.
I hurt my ankle, my wrist..but I continued that sport because I love gymnastics.
Unfortunately, I hurt my arm and I had a plaster cast. I was not able to train for one month. After that I did not resume gymnastics due to several reasons.
However I have ten years of good
pluriel: a baby, two babies.
Réponse: Correction of a text de aureliie59, postée le 17-10-2010 à 17:01:35 (S | E)
A couple of years ago, I decided to practise gymnastics. When I told my parents about my idea of doing that sport, they were enthusiastic and encouraged me. In fact, some days later I joined a club.
After several months of training, the coach suggested to me to do sporting events.I was very happy. He asked
Some months after, I competed in front of hundreds of people although I was shy. We went to Normandie, to Amiens..to do sporting events. We slept in hotels because it was a long way.
I hurt my ankle, my wrist..but I continued that sport because I love gymnastics.
Unfortunately, I hurt my arm and I had a plaster cast. I was not able to train for one month. After that I did not resume gymnastics due to several reasons.
However I have ten years of good memories.(pluriel)
Encore merci de m'aider je comprends mes erreurs au moins..
Réponse: Correction of a text de gerondif, postée le 17-10-2010 à 17:08:10 (S | E)
Dans quel cadre faites-vous cet exercice? Pour quelqu'un de 20 ans d'après votre fiche, c'est d'un niveau assez facile.
amélioration:
"Quelques mois plus tard, je courais devant des centaines de gens......"
essayez de traduire cela avec un temps en ing qui donnerait une idée de durée ou de toile de fond ou d'imparfait de narration avec un petit côté dramatique ....
quelques + mot pluriel:.......
plus tard: comparatif du mot tard.
A vous .
Réponse: Correction of a text de aureliie59, postée le 17-10-2010 à 17:18:58 (S | E)
En fait je suis à l'université, mais on reprend tout depuis le début, les temps, les mots de liaison.J'ai eu 5/20 à ma 1ere interrogation.. donc la prof nous a dit de faire des textes simples pour ceux qui ne sont pas très forts..comme moi
Some months later, I was competing (past continuous?!) in front of hundreds of people although I was shy. We went to Normandie, to Amiens..to do sporting events. We slept in hotels because it was a long way.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 17-10-2010 17:21
Réponse: Correction of a text de gerondif, postée le 17-10-2010 à 17:33:31 (S | E)
bonne correction, ça passera mieux ainsi.
a few months later, I was competing (imparfait nostalgique, on entend encore les vagues d'applaudissements ...) serait encore mieux
Bon courage à vous alors !
Réponse: Correction of a text de aureliie59, postée le 17-10-2010 à 17:34:23 (S | E)
Merci beaucoup de votre aide et de votre patience.
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