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Correction - 'The story of Molly Duk
Message de deutsche12 posté le 22-05-2010 à 19:57:47 (S | E | F)
Bonjour à tous,
j'aimerais bien que vous corrigiez le texte suivant, que je vais réciter à l'oral. Pourriez-vous aussi me dire où est-ce que je pourrais le raccourcir, même d'un ou deux mots, s'il vous plaît ?
Voici :
Nowadays, many books are speaking about the life of Jamaican slaves of the 19th century. But "The story of Molly Duke" is the most accurate description that we have of them. This book, which was written by Molly's son himself 160 years ago, tells the terrible suffering of his mother during all her life. Morever, Molly Duke has always wanted to be free and she fought fo this. In fact, she worked every day of her life as slave on a Jamaican sugar plantation. Masters used to carry whips to beat the slaves. She had to work as hard as the other, even if she was a woman and even when she had little children. She never had enough to eat. One day, like she was very hungry, she ate sugar cane. Unfortunately, her master caught her and whipped her so long that she nearly died. In 1832, the slaves decided slavery couldn't go on. All the masters believed the slaves were going to kill them. During the revolt, Molly helped her master to escape. He came back with several soldiers and shot at his slaves, whereas Molly wanted him to ask the Queen of England to stop slavery ; she was shot during the fight.
Her youngest son, Ralph, was ten when she died.He was lucky to leave the plantation after the slavery had been abolished in 1834. Six years later , he learnt to write, which was surprising at this time, because he was black. Then, he wrote his first book and called it "The story of Molly Duke", which was the most popular book of 1857 in England.
Je remercie d'avance ceux qui auront la gentillesse de m'aider.
Message de deutsche12 posté le 22-05-2010 à 19:57:47 (S | E | F)
Bonjour à tous,
j'aimerais bien que vous corrigiez le texte suivant, que je vais réciter à l'oral. Pourriez-vous aussi me dire où est-ce que je pourrais le raccourcir, même d'un ou deux mots, s'il vous plaît ?
Voici : Nowadays, many books are speaking about the life of Jamaican slaves of the 19th century. But "The story of Molly Duke" is the most accurate description that we have of them. This book, which was written by Molly's son himself 160 years ago, tells the terrible suffering of his mother during all her life. Morever, Molly Duke has always wanted to be free and she fought fo this. In fact, she worked every day of her life as slave on a Jamaican sugar plantation. Masters used to carry whips to beat the slaves. She had to work as hard as the other, even if she was a woman and even when she had little children. She never had enough to eat. One day, like she was very hungry, she ate sugar cane. Unfortunately, her master caught her and whipped her so long that she nearly died. In 1832, the slaves decided slavery couldn't go on. All the masters believed the slaves were going to kill them. During the revolt, Molly helped her master to escape. He came back with several soldiers and shot at his slaves, whereas Molly wanted him to ask the Queen of England to stop slavery ; she was shot during the fight.
Her youngest son, Ralph, was ten when she died.He was lucky to leave the plantation after the slavery had been abolished in 1834. Six years later , he learnt to write, which was surprising at this time, because he was black. Then, he wrote his first book and called it "The story of Molly Duke", which was the most popular book of 1857 in England.
Je remercie d'avance ceux qui auront la gentillesse de m'aider.
Réponse: Correction - 'The story of Molly Duk de notrepere, postée le 22-05-2010 à 20:39:39 (S | E)
Hello! Very good work. Nowadays, many books are speaking (written) about the life (plural) of Jamaican slaves of (in) the 19th century. But "The story of Molly Duke" is the most accurate description that we have of them. This book, which was written by Molly's son himself 160 years ago, tells of the terrible suffering of his mother during all her life (her whole life). Moreover, Molly Duke has [temps] always wanted to be free and she fought for this. In fact, she worked every day of her life as a slave on a Jamaican sugar plantation. The masters used to carry whips with which to beat the slaves. She had to work as hard as the others, even if (though) she was a woman and even when she had little children. She never had enough to eat. One day, like (because) she was very hungry, she ate some sugar cane. Unfortunately, her master caught her and whipped her so long that she nearly died. In 1832, the slaves decided slavery couldn't go on. All the masters believed the slaves were going to kill them. During the revolt, Molly helped her master to escape. Molly was hopeful that her master would ask the Queen of England to end slavery, but he came back with several soldiers and (he or they?) shot at his slaves
Her youngest son, Ralph, was ten when she died. He was lucky to (fortunate to be able to) leave the plantation after
learned to write, which was surprising (unusual) at this time, because he was black. Then, he wrote his first book and called it "The story of Molly Duke", which was the most popular book of 1857 in England.-------------------
Modifié par notrepere le 22-05-2010 20:41
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