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Essay/cover letter
Message de carton99 posté le 25-04-2010 à 18:07:08 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
j'ai un examen d'anglais et je révise l'écriture de texte.
J'essaie d'écrire une lettre de motivation.Pourriez-vous coriger mes fautes s'il vous plaît?
Je présice que l'objectif est de corriger l'orthographe et la gramaire(je ne veux pas faire de CV ,c'est juste pour écrire des phrases).
MERCI Merci.
[texte]
Dear Sirs,
I am Carton 99 I am a student in university of « Big City » in France in department computer science.I you contact for an internship.
I much like new technology and internet, I had been much made videos games during ten year, and I know different programming language. My part prefer is to manage a team to compose of graphics designers and compositors. That is why I want come in your company for you give my skill.
I am pleased to you meet for a job interview.
I am looking forward to hearing from you.
Yours sincerely
[/texte]
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 25-04-2010 18:16
Message de carton99 posté le 25-04-2010 à 18:07:08 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
j'ai un examen d'anglais et je révise l'écriture de texte.
J'essaie d'écrire une lettre de motivation.Pourriez-vous coriger mes fautes s'il vous plaît?
Je présice que l'objectif est de corriger l'orthographe et la gramaire(je ne veux pas faire de CV ,c'est juste pour écrire des phrases).
[texte]
Dear Sirs,
I am Carton 99 I am a student in university of « Big City » in France in department computer science.I you contact for an internship.
I much like new technology and internet, I had been much made videos games during ten year, and I know different programming language. My part prefer is to manage a team to compose of graphics designers and compositors. That is why I want come in your company for you give my skill.
I am pleased to you meet for a job interview.
I am looking forward to hearing from you.
Yours sincerely
[/texte]
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 25-04-2010 18:16
Réponse: Essay/cover letter de carton99, postée le 25-04-2010 à 18:44:47 (S | E)
Désolé pour le texte français, pourriez vous maintenant corriger le texte anglais s'il vous plaît?
Merci.
Réponse: Essay/cover letter de notrepere, postée le 25-04-2010 à 19:04:57 (S | E)
HelloDear Sirs,
I am Carton 99. I am a student in [ ] University of « Big City » in France in [ ] department computer science.I [verb - to be - present continuous] you [wrong placement] contacting for an internship to inquire about a possible internship in your company.
I much like enjoy working with new technology [plural?] and [ ] internet,[and] I had been much made have created many video
.I am pleased to you meet for a job interview. I would welcome the opportunity to meet with you.
I am looking forward to hearing from you.
Yours sincerely
Bonne chance!
Attention: The suggestions may be written in
Réponse: Essay/cover letter de carton99, postée le 25-04-2010 à 19:57:55 (S | E)
Bonjour,
Merci pour cette correction qui arrive très rapidement.
J’ai réécrit le texte afin de pouvoir corriger les dernières fautes.
[text]
Dears Sirs,
I am Carton 99 .I am a student at University of Big City in France in the department computer science .I am contacting you for an internship.
I enjoy working with new technologies and internet.I have developed many videos games over the past ten years,and I am fluent in several different programming languages such as C++,Java,AS .My desired position is to manage a team of graphics designers and compositors of music. I feel that I have many skills that would be of benefit to your company .Moreover I speak French.
I would welcome the opportunity to meet with you. I am looking forward to hearing from you.
Yours sincerely.
[/text]
Réponse: Essay/cover letter de notrepere, postée le 26-04-2010 à 01:27:58 (S | E)
HelloPresque parfait.
I am Carton 99 .I am a student at the University of Big City in France in the department of computer science (or Computer Science Department). I am contacting you for an internship. This sentence seems a little too direct. Maybe something like I am contacting you because I believe that my skills may be a match with your company and would like to find out about the possibility of an internship.
I enjoy working with new technologies and the internet. I have developed many videos games over the past ten years, and I am fluent in several different programming languages
I would welcome the opportunity to meet with you. I am looking forward to hearing from you.
Yours sincerely.
C'est bon.
Réponse: Essay/cover letter de intrepid34, postée le 26-04-2010 à 08:06:45 (S | E)
Good morning Carton 99!
Dear Sir or Dear Sirs
The closing formality is "Yours faithfully" (and not "Yours sincerely" which is used with : Dear Mr Smith ou Dear Mrs Smith etc.
Good luck
Intrepid
Réponse: Essay/cover letter de carton99, postée le 26-04-2010 à 19:12:34 (S | E)
Merci pour votre aides, j’ai appris beaucoup de mots nouveaux .J’aime beaucoup le mot “fluent”.
Voici le texte final.
[text]
Dear Sir,
I am Carton 99 .I am a student at the University of Big City in France in Computer Science department. I am contacting you because I believe that my skills may be a match with your company and would like to find out about the possibility of an internship.
I enjoy working with new technologies and the internet .I have developed many videos games over the past ten years, and I am fluent in several different programming languages including C++, Java, and AS. My desired position is to manage a team of graphics designers and composers of music .I feel that I have many skills that would be benefit to your company. In addition, I am fluent in French.
I would welcome the opportunity to meet with you. I am looking forward to hearing from you.
Yours faithfully
[/text]
Réponse: Essay/cover letter de notrepere, postée le 26-04-2010 à 19:25:03 (S | E)
Dear Sir,
I am Carton 99 .I am a student at the University of Big City in France in the Computer Science department. I am contacting you because I believe that my skills may be a match with your company and would like to find out about the possibility of an internship.
I enjoy working with new technologies and the internet .I have developed many videos games over the past ten years, and I am fluent in several different programming languages including C++, Java, and AS. My desired position is to manage a team of graphics designers and composers of music .I feel that I have many skills that would be
I would welcome the opportunity to meet with you. I am looking forward to hearing from you.
Yours faithfully
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