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Apple/correction
Message de an_bm posté le 14-03-2010 à 21:33:58 (S | E | F)
Hi Hello everyone,
Any suggestions?
Thanks a lot !
As you probably know, Apple is a multinational company, which was created in 1976. They are currently producing laptops, hard-drive, Mobile phone, I-pod…
Therefore their range of product is quite wide. Apple is a premium brand and is really known for the reliability of their products.
They are leader on the I-pod market. They sold 250 000 000 i-pod for the moment, so it is really huge.
Apple wanted to kick off 2010 with a revolutionary product. ! Apple is a mobile devices company. This means that their targets are people who are always moving around and who needs sophisticate products in the same time. As they already had Phones and Macs, they wanted to create something new but they didn’t want to create netbook because for Apple it is just cheap laptop. SO they decided to create the Ipad.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 14-03-2010 21:38
Message de an_bm posté le 14-03-2010 à 21:33:58 (S | E | F)
Any suggestions?
Thanks a lot !
As you probably know, Apple is a multinational company, which was created in 1976. They are currently producing laptops, hard-drive, Mobile phone, I-pod…
Therefore their range of product is quite wide. Apple is a premium brand and is really known for the reliability of their products.
They are leader on the I-pod market. They sold 250 000 000 i-pod for the moment, so it is really huge.
Apple wanted to kick off 2010 with a revolutionary product. ! Apple is a mobile devices company. This means that their targets are people who are always moving around and who needs sophisticate products in the same time. As they already had Phones and Macs, they wanted to create something new but they didn’t want to create netbook because for Apple it is just cheap laptop. SO they decided to create the Ipad.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 14-03-2010 21:38
Réponse: Apple/correction de lucile83, postée le 14-03-2010 à 21:51:03 (S | E)
Hello,
As you probably know, Apple is a multinational company, which was created in 1976. They are currently producing laptops, hard-drive, Mobile phone, I-pod…
Therefore their range of product is quite wide. Apple is a premium brand and is really known for the reliability of their products.
They are leader are considered as the leader on the I-pod market. They sold 250 000 000 i-pod pluriel logiquement/i-pods existe for the moment, so it is really huge.
Apple wanted to kick off 2010 with a revolutionary product ! Apple is a mobile devices company. This means that their targets are people who are always moving around and who needs sophisticate products in the same time. As they already had Phones and Macs, they wanted to create something new but they didn’t want to create netbook because for Apple it is just cheap laptop. So they decided to create the Ipad.
Quite good work! except 'needs' and 'sophisticate'; I leave the correction to you.
Réponse: Apple/correction de an_bm, postée le 14-03-2010 à 22:00:08 (S | E)
Thanks a lot for the help lucile83, Appreciate it ;)
Réponse: Apple/correction de intrepid34, postée le 15-03-2010 à 07:52:57 (S | E)
Good morning Lucile,
May I make a couple of suggestions to your already excellent correction?
Line 1: plural ... laptops, hard-drives, mobile phones, ipods....
Line 3: plural for product. Really known - widely known?
Line 7: in?? the same time
perhaps "at".
Hope I haven't offended you. Have a great sunny day.
Kind regards
Intrepid
Réponse: Apple/correction de lucile83, postée le 15-03-2010 à 08:16:21 (S | E)
Hello intrepid,
You are right ! I forgot to mention those mistakes. Too fast
Hope an_bm will correct them.
Have a nice day as well!
Best wishes,
Lucile
Réponse: Apple/correction de robertbrou, postée le 15-03-2010 à 17:39:24 (S | E)
Bonjour,
Voici mes suggestions pour le dernier paragraphe:
Apple wanted to kick off 2010 with a revolutionary product ! Apple is a mobile device
NB: Les noms des produits Apple sont: iMac, iPhone, iPod, iPad
Hope this helps!
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Modifié par robertbrou le 15-03-2010 17:39
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