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truth mother/correction
Message de gaellexd posté le 06-03-2010 à 15:10:50 (S | E | F)
Bonjour, Je suis en classe de terminale, et j'ai une expression à rendre pour la rentrée. Je dois inventer la suite d'un texte.
J'ai fait mon texte, mais j'ai l'impression qu'a certains moments ce que je dis n'est pas trop "anglais". Alors si quelqu'un pouvait me dire si certaines phrases ne vont pas, et s'il y a des erreurs (orthographe, conjugaison..) Merci
Voici mon texte:
I couldn't hold back my tears. Twenty minutes have passed since the arrival of the Bus, but it seemed to me that two hours have passed. The man asked me "Do you know your phone number?". Mommy's warning was always in my head, I answered so "no".
The man seeing my fear tried to discuss.
"I see who is your mother, it is the white woman who stays always discreetly behind. Isn't it?"
I didn't want to speak, Mommy was very clear has these subject "Don't tell nobody your business neither! ". So I answered only with a nod.
" It is your truth mother? Your mother of blood? " He asked
" Yes " I answered automatically, then the question turned in my head.. "I think" I added with doubt now.
This Man came to awake in me maybe an answer to a question who trotted in my head: why she doesn't look like me?.
Again ten minutes passed, during these ten minutes I didn't stop thinking, and now I think that my mother isn't my maternal mother, it shall explain many things.
Suddenly, I perceived a group of child who came in our direction. When they were near, I been able to recognize my brothers and sisters. Immediately the smile arrived. I run to join them.
"Where is Mommy? " I asked
"At the house, she was to go to help a friend, she just comes back exhausted, that why she send us pick you up. " Answered one of my brothers.
Once arrived at the house, Mommy was sit on the sofa, I am to go to install me near she.
"I am sorry, I couldn't come, I have to help a friend "
" I know. " … "Mommy I can ask you a question? " I said shyly.
" Yes of course "
"Are you my truth mother? "
" Yes! How can you doubt it?? I put you in the world, you and your brothers and sisters. I am your mother. "
" But, you are white and we are black "
" Your father is black, it is for it, but I put you in the world. You hear me? I am your mother. You ask again too many questions."
" But... "
" I ask you to don't doubt any more!. Going to do your homeworks now. "
-------------------
Edited by bridg on 06-03-2010 15:11
titre / forum
Message de gaellexd posté le 06-03-2010 à 15:10:50 (S | E | F)
Bonjour, Je suis en classe de terminale, et j'ai une expression à rendre pour la rentrée. Je dois inventer la suite d'un texte.
J'ai fait mon texte, mais j'ai l'impression qu'a certains moments ce que je dis n'est pas trop "anglais". Alors si quelqu'un pouvait me dire si certaines phrases ne vont pas, et s'il y a des erreurs (orthographe, conjugaison..) Merci
Voici mon texte:
I couldn't hold back my tears. Twenty minutes have passed since the arrival of the Bus, but it seemed to me that two hours have passed. The man asked me "Do you know your phone number?". Mommy's warning was always in my head, I answered so "no".
The man seeing my fear tried to discuss.
"I see who is your mother, it is the white woman who stays always discreetly behind. Isn't it?"
I didn't want to speak, Mommy was very clear has these subject "Don't tell nobody your business neither! ". So I answered only with a nod.
" It is your truth mother? Your mother of blood? " He asked
" Yes " I answered automatically, then the question turned in my head.. "I think" I added with doubt now.
This Man came to awake in me maybe an answer to a question who trotted in my head: why she doesn't look like me?.
Again ten minutes passed, during these ten minutes I didn't stop thinking, and now I think that my mother isn't my maternal mother, it shall explain many things.
Suddenly, I perceived a group of child who came in our direction. When they were near, I been able to recognize my brothers and sisters. Immediately the smile arrived. I run to join them.
"Where is Mommy? " I asked
"At the house, she was to go to help a friend, she just comes back exhausted, that why she send us pick you up. " Answered one of my brothers.
Once arrived at the house, Mommy was sit on the sofa, I am to go to install me near she.
"I am sorry, I couldn't come, I have to help a friend "
" I know. " … "Mommy I can ask you a question? " I said shyly.
" Yes of course "
"Are you my truth mother? "
" Yes! How can you doubt it?? I put you in the world, you and your brothers and sisters. I am your mother. "
" But, you are white and we are black "
" Your father is black, it is for it, but I put you in the world. You hear me? I am your mother. You ask again too many questions."
" But... "
" I ask you to don't doubt any more!. Going to do your homeworks now. "
-------------------
Edited by bridg on 06-03-2010 15:11
titre / forum
Réponse: truth mother/correction de gerondif, postée le 07-03-2010 à 19:51:36 (S | E)
Bonsoir,
"J'ai fait mon texte", mais j'ai l'impression qu'à certains moments ce que traduit le traducteur n'est pas trop "anglais" mais très mot-à-mot.
"At the house, (à la maison)
she was to go to help a friend,(elle était allée aider un ami)
Mommy was sit (maman était assise),
I am to go to install me near she.(je suis allé m'installer près d'elle)
I put you in the world,(je t'ai mise au monde)
it is for it,(c'est pour ça)
Essayez de prendre des tournures anglaises, le mot-à-mot ne marche que pour les phrases simples.
Réponse: truth mother/correction de gaellexd, postée le 07-03-2010 à 20:06:03 (S | E)
Merci de ta réponse
, avec aide j'ai corrigé pas mal d'erreur Cela ressemble desormais à cela:I couldn't hold back my tears. Twenty minutes had passed since the arrival of the bus, but it seemed to me that two hours had passed. The man asked me "Do you know your phone number?". Mommy's warning was still in my head, so I answered "no".
The man noticing my fear tried to discuss.
"I see who your mother is, she is the white woman, who always stays discreetly behind. Isn't she?"
I didn't want to speak, Mommy has very cleared on this subject "Don't tell nobody your business neither! ". So I only answered with a nod.
" It is your biological mother? Your mother of blood? " He asked
" Yes " I automatically answered, then the question turned in my head.. "I think" I added with doubt now.
This man came to trigger in me maybe an answer to a question who trotted in my head: why doesn't she look like me?.
Again ten minutes passed, during these ten minutes I couldn't stop thinking, and now I think that my mother isn't my biological mother, it would explain many things.
Suddenly, I perceived a group of children who came in our direction. When they were near, I have been able to recognize my brothers and sisters. Immediately, I smiled, and I ran to join them.
"Where is Mommy? " I asked
"At home, she was to help a friend, and she came back exhausted. That is why she sent us to pick you up. " Answered one of my brothers.
Once I arrived at home, Mommy was sitting on the sofa, I am to go to install me near she.
"I am sorry, I couldn't come, I have to help a friend "
" I know. " … "Mommy I can ask you a question? " I said shyly.
" Yes of course "
"Are you my biological mother? "
" Yes! How can you doubt it?? I brought you to the world, you and your brothers and sisters. I am your mother. "
" But, you are white and we are black "
" Your father is black, it is for this reason, I brought you to the world. You hear me? I am your mother. You ask again too many questions."
" But... "
" I ask you to not doubt any more!. Go to do your homework now. "
Réponse: truth mother/correction de gerondif, postée le 07-03-2010 à 20:51:49 (S | E)
Bonsoir,
I couldn't hold back my tears. Twenty minutes had passed since the arrival of the bus, but it seemed to me that two hours had passed. The man asked me "Do you know your phone number?". Mommy's warning was still in my head, so I answered "no".
The man noticing my fear tried to discuss (with me).
"I see who your mother is, she is the white woman, who always stays discreetly behind,isn't she?"
I didn't want to speak, Mommy has been very clear on this subject "Don't tell nobody(2 négations) your business neither (confusion avec never?)! ". So I only answered with a nod.
" It is (c'est ? is she irait mieux)your biological mother? Your mother of blood? " He asked
" Yes " I automatically answered, then the question turned in my head.. "I think so, I think she is" I added with doubt now.
This man came to trigger in me maybe an answer to a question who trotted in my head: why doesn't she look like me?.
Again ten minutes passed, during these ten minutes I couldn't stop thinking, and now I think that my mother isn't my biological mother, it would explain many things.
Suddenly, I perceived (saw suffirait) a group of children who came(qui venaient.. imparfait en ing) in our direction. When they were near, I have been (action datée: prétérit du verbe être)able to recognize my brothers and sisters. Immediately, I smiled, and I ran to join them.
"Where is Mommy? " I asked
"At home, she went to help a friend, and she came back exhausted. That is why she sent us to pick you up. " Answered one of my brothers.(l'anglais n'inverse pas: he said = dit-il)
Once(plutôt when) I arrived at home, Mommy was sitting on the sofa, I am to go to install me near she.(va t'asseoir = go and sit near her:à passer au prétérit)
"I am sorry, I couldn't come, I have(prétérit) to help a friend "
" I know. " … "Mommy, I can (à inverser)ask you a question? " I said shyly.
" Yes of course "
"Are you my biological mother? "
" Yes! How can you doubt it?? I brought you to the world, you and your brothers and sisters. I am your mother. "
" But, you are white and we are black "
" Your father is black, it is for this reason (that's the reason why), I brought you to the world. You hear me? I am your mother. You ask too many questions again."
" But... "
" I ask you to not doubt any more!. Go and do your homework now. "
infinitif négatif: I ask you not to smoke
Réponse: truth mother/correction de gaellexd, postée le 08-03-2010 à 19:56:45 (S | E)
Mercii beaucoup
Bonne soirée ^^
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