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You tired you poor
Message de elise01 posté le 15-02-2010 à 09:56:14 (S | E | F)
Bonjour, pourriez-vous svp m'aider dans la correction du résumé de ce texte sur une aristocrate française qui rejoint Ellis Island au début du siècle.
Brigitte is Beatrice’s sister and Charles is Brigitte’s brother-in-law. With Alfonse, they’re(Brigitte & Alfonse) both French immigrants. Brigitte belongs to French aristocracy. She took the boat in Le Havre to go to America. Brigitte was the last hope of her family because her sister, Beatrice, had to help her family in America. She had to find a wealthy American and marry him but she was married to a simply hideous man, Charles Blackburn, and she was already pregnant with him. The family was officially ruined. Now Brigitte must go to the USA and do like her sister.
Brigitte’s behaviour is haughty face to face("face to face" > vis à vis ?) other passengers. For her, it’s unacceptable to travel in third class, and she must be allowed to enter the United States easily, have a medical examination and simply cross Ellis Island. Brigitte thinks she had rights such as private cabin, cocktails and dinner at the Captain’s table. She thinks she’s privileged and, for her, she is not like everybody, she’s unrepeatable and thinks she can't live with ordinary people like farmers. In that way, we can say she's snooty.
Official (l’officier de Ellis Island qui autorise ou non à entrer sur le territoire américain) doesn’t understand her name, he calls her Mademoiselle Dumapoozi. With him, Brigitte wants to have an argument (avec lui, Brigitte se dispute d’abord mais, en réfléchissant, elle réalise… ) first but, after thinking, she realized that it was better to stay calm because she isn’t as exceptional as she thought. Finally, Official calls her Bridget Dumapoozi and that makes her smile and laugh.
Merci, Elise
Message de elise01 posté le 15-02-2010 à 09:56:14 (S | E | F)
Bonjour, pourriez-vous svp m'aider dans la correction du résumé de ce texte sur une aristocrate française qui rejoint Ellis Island au début du siècle.
Brigitte is Beatrice’s sister and Charles is Brigitte’s brother-in-law. With Alfonse, they’re(Brigitte & Alfonse) both French immigrants. Brigitte belongs to French aristocracy. She took the boat in Le Havre to go to America. Brigitte was the last hope of her family because her sister, Beatrice, had to help her family in America. She had to find a wealthy American and marry him but she was married to a simply hideous man, Charles Blackburn, and she was already pregnant with him. The family was officially ruined. Now Brigitte must go to the USA and do like her sister.
Brigitte’s behaviour is haughty face to face("face to face" > vis à vis ?) other passengers. For her, it’s unacceptable to travel in third class, and she must be allowed to enter the United States easily, have a medical examination and simply cross Ellis Island. Brigitte thinks she had rights such as private cabin, cocktails and dinner at the Captain’s table. She thinks she’s privileged and, for her, she is not like everybody, she’s unrepeatable and thinks she can't live with ordinary people like farmers. In that way, we can say she's snooty.
Official (l’officier de Ellis Island qui autorise ou non à entrer sur le territoire américain) doesn’t understand her name, he calls her Mademoiselle Dumapoozi. With him, Brigitte wants to have an argument (avec lui, Brigitte se dispute d’abord mais, en réfléchissant, elle réalise… ) first but, after thinking, she realized that it was better to stay calm because she isn’t as exceptional as she thought. Finally, Official calls her Bridget Dumapoozi and that makes her smile and laugh.
Merci, Elise
Réponse: You tired you poor de gerondif, postée le 15-02-2010 à 10:20:42 (S | E)
Bonjour,
Pourquoi passez-vous trois fois du présent au passé, il vaudrait mieux tout mettre au passé, à moins de détacher en introduction les trois premières phrases.
Brigitte is Beatrice’s sister and Charles is Brigitte’s brother-in-law. With Alfonse, they’re(Brigitte & Alfonse) both French immigrants. Brigitte belongs to the French aristocracy.
She took the boat in Le Havre to go to America. Brigitte was the last hope of her family because her sister, Beatrice, had to help her family in America. She had to find a wealthy American and marry him but she was married to a
Brigitte’s behaviour is haughty with the other passengers. For her, it’s unacceptable to travel in third class, and she must be allowed to enter the United States easily, have a medical examination and simply cross Ellis Island. Brigitte thinks she had rights such as a private cabin, cocktails and dinner at the Captain’s table. She thinks she’s privileged and, for her, she is not like everybody, she’s unrepeatable?? unique and thinks she can't live with ordinary people like farmers. In that way, we can say she's snooty.
The immigration officer doesn’t understand her name, he calls her Mademoiselle Dumapoozi. With him, Brigitte wants to have an argument (avec lui, Brigitte se dispute d’abord mais, en réfléchissant, elle réalise… ) first but, after thinking (on second thoughts), she realized (rupture de temps après les présents) that it was better to stay calm because she isn’t(idem) as exceptional as she thought. Finally,
Réponse: You tired you poor de elise01, postée le 15-02-2010 à 10:24:45 (S | E)
Merci pour votre aide, voici ma correction reste-t-il des erreurs?
Brigitte is Beatrice’s sister and Charles is Brigitte’s brother-in-law. With Alfonse, they’re(Brigitte & Alfonse) both French immigrants. Brigitte belongs to the French aristocracy.
She took the boat in Le Havre to go to America. Brigitte was the last hope of her family because her sister, Beatrice, had to help her family in America. She had to find a wealthy American and marry him but she was married to a really hideous man, Charles Blackburn, and she was already pregnant with him. The family was officially ruined. Now Brigitte had to go to the USA and do like her sister.
Brigitte’s behaviour is haughty with the other passengers. For her, it’s unacceptable to travel in third class, and she must be allowed to enter the United States easily, have a medical examination and simply cross Ellis Island. Brigitte thinks she had rights such as a private cabin, cocktails and dinner at the Captain’s table. She thinks she’s privileged and, for her, she is not like everybody, she’s unique and thinks she can't live with ordinary people like farmers. In that way, we can say she's snooty.
The immigration officer doesn’t understand her name, he calls her Mademoiselle Dumapoozi. With him, Brigitte wants to have an argument (avec lui, Brigitte se dispute d’abord mais, en réfléchissant, elle réalise… ) first but, on second thoughts, she realizes that it was better to stay calm because she isn’t as exceptional as she thought. Finally, calls her Bridget Dumapoozi and that makes her smile and laugh.
Elise
Réponse: You tired you poor de gerondif, postée le 15-02-2010 à 10:37:56 (S | E)
Encore une fois, je passerais tout au prétérit, le paragraphe central sur le côté hautain de Brigitte ne se conçoit au présent que si ce sont les explications du narrateur,que je verrais alors entre parenthèses.D'ailleurs, que vient faire dans la narration: we can say she is snooty ?
je supprimerais behaviour: Brigitte is haughty with the other passengers, ou bien, Brigitte behaves haughtily with the other passengers.
Pourquoi mettre with him en tête de phrase, B wants to have an argument with him serait tout aussi bien.
Réponse: You tired you poor de elise01, postée le 15-02-2010 à 10:45:05 (S | E)
Comme ceci qu'en pensez-vous, est-ce à cela que vous songiez pour ce résumé?
Brigitte is Beatrice’s sister and Charles is Brigitte’s brother-in-law. With Alfonse, they’re(Brigitte & Alfonse) both French immigrants. Brigitte belongs to the French aristocracy.
She took the boat in Le Havre to go to America. Brigitte was the last hope of her family because her sister, Beatrice, had to help her family in America. She had to find a wealthy American and marry him but she was married to a really hideous man, Charles Blackburn, and she was already pregnant with him. The family was officially ruined. Now Brigitte had to go to the USA and do like her sister.
Brigitte behaved haughtily with the other passengers. For her, it’s unacceptable to travel in third class, and she had to be allowed to enter the United States easily, had a medical examination and simply cross Ellis Island. Brigitte thought she had rights such as a private cabin, cocktails and dinner at the Captain’s table. She thought she’s privileged and, for her, she was not like everybody, she was unique and thought she couldn't live with ordinary people like farmers. In that way, we could say she was snooty.
The Official didn’t understand her name, he called her Mademoiselle Dumapoozi. Brigitte wanted to have an argument with him, first but, on second thoughts, she realized that it was better to stay calm because she didn’t as exceptional as she thought. Finally, called her Bridget Dumapoozi and that made her smile and laugh.
Merci, Elise.
Réponse: You tired you poor de gerondif, postée le 15-02-2010 à 11:08:25 (S | E)
Vous avez oublié de transformer quelques verbes, et didn't n'est pas le prétérit de is ou are.
Brigitte is Beatrice’s sister and Charles is Brigitte’s brother-in-law. With Alfonse, they’re(Brigitte & Alfonse) both French immigrants. Brigitte belongs to the French aristocracy.
She took the boat in Le Havre to go to America. Brigitte was the last hope of her family because her sister, Beatrice, had to help her family in America. She had to find a wealthy American and marry him but she was married to a really hideous man, Charles Blackburn, and she was already pregnant with him. The family was officially ruined. Now Brigitte had to go to the USA and do like her sister.
Brigitte behaved haughtily with the other passengers. For her, it’s unacceptable to travel in third class, and she had to be allowed to enter the United States easily, to have(complément du verbe devoir) a medical examination and simply cross Ellis Island. Brigitte thought she had rights such as a private cabin, cocktails and dinner at the Captain’s table. She thought she’s privileged and, for her, she was not like everybody, she was unique and thought she couldn't live with ordinary people like farmers. In that way, we could say she was snooty.
The Official didn’t understand her name, he called her Mademoiselle Dumapoozi. Brigitte wanted to have an argument with him, first but, on second thoughts, she realized that it was better to stay calm because she didn’t as exceptional as she thought. Finally,(manque le sujet) called her Bridget Dumapoozi and that made her smile and laugh.
Réponse: You tired you poor de elise01, postée le 15-02-2010 à 11:48:27 (S | E)
Brigitte is Beatrice’s sister and Charles is Brigitte’s brother-in-law. With Alfonse, they’re(Brigitte & Alfonse) both French immigrants. Brigitte belongs to the French aristocracy.
She took the boat in Le Havre to go to America. Brigitte was the last hope of her family because her sister, Beatrice, had to help her family in America. She had to find a wealthy American and marry him but she was married to a really hideous man, Charles Blackburn, and she was already pregnant with him. The family was officially ruined. Now Brigitte had to go to the USA and do like her sister.
Brigitte behaved haughtily with the other passengers. For her, it was unacceptable to travel in third class, and she had to be allowed to enter the United States easily, to had a medical examination and simply cross Ellis Island. Brigitte thought she had rights such as a private cabin, cocktails and dinner at the Captain’s table. She thought she was privileged and, for her, she was not like everybody, she was unique and thought she couldn't live with ordinary people like farmers. In that way, we could say she was snooty.
The Official didn’t understand her name, he called her Mademoiselle Dumapoozi. Brigitte wanted to have an argument with him, first but, on second thoughts, she realized that it was better to stay calm because she wasn’t as exceptional as she thought. Finally, official called her Bridget Dumapoozi and that made her smile and laugh.
Voici une nouvelle correction, reste-t-il encore des erreurs?, puis-je à présent mettre cela au propre? Merci en tous cas pour votre aide Elise.
Réponse: You tired you poor de gerondif, postée le 15-02-2010 à 12:17:53 (S | E)
Brigitte is Beatrice’s sister and Charles is Brigitte’s brother-in-law. With Alfonse, they’re(Brigitte & Alfonse) both French immigrants. Brigitte belongs to the French aristocracy.
She took the boat in Le Havre to go to America. Brigitte was the last hope of her family because her sister, Beatrice, had to help her family in America. She had to find a wealthy American and marry him but she was married to a really hideous man, Charles Blackburn, and she was already pregnant with him. The family was officially ruined. Now Brigitte had to go to the USA and do like her sister.
Brigitte behaved haughtily with the other passengers. For her, it was unacceptable to travel in third class, and she had to be allowed to enter the United States easily, to had(infinitif) a medical examination and simply cross Ellis Island. Brigitte thought she had rights such as a private cabin, cocktails and dinner at the Captain’s table. She thought she was privileged and, for her, she was not like everybody, she was unique and thought she couldn't live with ordinary people like farmers. In that way, we could say she was snooty.
The Official(the immigration officer) didn’t understand her name, he called her Mademoiselle Dumapoozi. At first, Brigitte wanted to have an argument with him but, on second thoughts, she realized that it was better to stay calm because she wasn’t as exceptional as she thought. Finally, (the immigration officer)official called her Bridget Dumapoozi and that made her smile and laugh.
il resterait quelques points comme "to cross " Ellis Island mais dans l'ensemble, cela devrait passer.
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