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Lettre- correction

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Lettre- correction
Message de bobii971 posté le 12-02-2010 à 20:24:56 (S | E | F)

Hello everybody! ^^
Il faut écrire une lettre dans laquelle il faut raconter une discussion (au passif)

My dear Gayvin,
After all this time, I thought I would drop you a line.
I heard that your telephone line and internet line were cut! What have you still made? I hope that you wife is well.
Me, I argued with my darling about the Valentine's day. He asked me that I shall offer him for the Valentine's day. I retorted him which I hates this day because it is only a commercial party. He clamed me that it was opportunity to show how much I love you.
However, I answered that if you love me, you have to show me it everyday and not during a particular day. He was hurt...Do you think that I had a good reaction? So, say hello to your wife for me!

All my love ,

Alice


Réponse: Lettre- correction de piquoc, postée le 13-02-2010 à 11:08:26 (S | E)
Hello: just one quick word. In English, we "GIVE" gifts, we don't "offer" them, because in English, an offer is tentative, and can be refused.

Good luck with the rest of your "letter".
Piqu'Oc


Réponse: Lettre- correction de laure95, postée le 13-02-2010 à 13:55:35 (S | E)
Bonjour,
Voici ce que tu dois corriger:
My dear Gayvin,
After all this time, I thought I would drop you a line.
I heard that your telephone line and internet line were cut! What have you still made? I hope that you (ce n'est pas le possessif) wife is well (ou fine).
Me (as for me), I argued with my darling about the Valentine's day. He asked me that I shall (concordance des temps) offer him for the Valentine's day. I retorted him which (that) I hates (concordance des temps) this (that) day because it is only a commercial party. He clamed me that it was opportunity to show how much I love (temps) you.
However, I answered that if you love (discours indirect) me, you have to show me it everyday and not during a particular day. He was hurt...Do you think that I had a good reaction? So, say hello to your wife for me!

All my love ,

Alice

Tu as très peu utilisé le passif!


Réponse: Lettre- correction de bobii971, postée le 13-02-2010 à 16:25:29 (S | E)
Hello everybody! ^^
Il faut écrire une lettre dans laquelle il faut raconter une discussion (au passif)

My dear Gayvin,
After all this time, I thought I would drop you a line.
I heard that your telephone line and internet line were cut! What have you still made? I hope that you wife is well.
Me, I argued with my darling about the Valentine's day. He asked me for I would give gifts to him for the Valentine's day. I retorted him which I hated this day because it was only a commercial party. He said me that it would be an opportunity to show how much he loved me.
However, I answered that if he loved me, he would show me it everyday and not during a particular day. He was hurt...Do you think that I had a good reaction? So, say hello to your wife for me!

All my love ,

Alice

Voila j'ai essayé de mettre plus de passif et de corriger mes fautes...
C'est bon?


Réponse: Lettre- correction de laure95, postée le 14-02-2010 à 14:51:46 (S | E)
Hello,
My dear Gayvin,
After all this time, I thought I would drop you a line.
I heard that your telephone line and internet line were cut! What have you still made? (j'utiliserai AGAIN à la place de STILL et DO à la place de MAKE) I hope that you wife is well.
As for Me, I argued with my darling about the Valentine's day. He asked me for (pas le bon mot) I would give (offer) gifts to him for the Valentine's day. I retorted him which (that) I hated this (this devient that au passé) day because it was only a commercial party. He said (told) me that it would be an opportunity to show how much he loved me.
However, I answered that if he loved me, he would show me it everyday and not during a particular day. He was hurt...Do you think that I had a good reaction? So, say hello to your wife for me!

All my love ,

Alice



Réponse: Lettre- correction de bobii971, postée le 14-02-2010 à 14:58:36 (S | E)

Désolé mais je me suis trompé !! Il faut raconter au discour indirecte!


Réponse: Lettre- correction de sally123, postée le 15-02-2010 à 07:22:11 (S | E)
hello


Réponse: Lettre- correction de bobii971, postée le 15-02-2010 à 19:16:02 (S | E)
Yes Sally123? What do you want?



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