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Correction/Eunice is a maid
Message de mimi-21 posté le 06-02-2010 à 23:19:21 (S | E | F)
Bonsoir ,pouvez-vous me corriger cette rédaction s'il vous plâit
Eunice is a maid who works at the Converdales for some months. Melinda reads English at University. She is Eunice's employer. The scene takes place at the Converdales, exactly in the dining room during the afternoon. Eunice has a problem. She can neither read nor write. She fears Melinda's parents might fire her on getting to know.
Sitting on the sofa, both women keep silent one moment.
Melinda ( turned to Eunice ) : It was necessary to say to me that you was illiterate. I did not want to put you ill-at-ease ! I am really sorry
Eunice ( looking melinda): Well ! I do not know what to say. I was afraid of your parents. But do I have to make now ? I do not want your parents know it. Promises me not to say to them !
Melinda (hesitated one moment): I promise you ! But you should not worry, ok ! My parents are kind persons, you know ? I find that your case is not also desperate as that !
Eunice (looked at Melinda with stupefication): I am an illiterate
Melinda: i know ! But you can learn to read and write. It's not difficult.
Eunice (opened her big eyes): It is easier to say than to make !
Melinda: I can help you, it is not a problem.
Eunice feels enjoyment. She takes confidence in her
Eunice: I always dreamed to know to read and write as everybody. Your proposition gives me a big hope !
Melinda: Are you ready to make big efforts ?
Eunice: Oh ! More than ever !
Melinda: First you have to learn the alphabet !
Eunice: I do not want to disturb you, you have your studies!
Melinda: It is not a problem. It makes me a big pleasure to help a person. And I always considered you as a sister, isn't it ?
Eunice: It's true ! And I thank you for it!
Melinda: Take this sheet of alphabet. I also give you this cassette so that you can listen to the alphabet and follow at the same time on the sheet. In the evening we shall review all this.
Eunice thanks Melinda. This one leaves the room to go to the university and Eunice takes back her work. In the evening, Melinda visits Eunice in her room.
Melinda: I see that you are spirit to learn. Recite me some letters, do you want ?
Eunice recites all the alphabet.
Melinda (astonished): It is formidable! You said everything. I see in you a big will !
Eunice: It is thanks to you !
Melinda: Now that you learned the alphabet, it will be necessary to memorize and to write them.
I thought of you just and I wrote you the alphabet in small letter.
Eunice: What is the difference between capital letter and small letter ?
Melinda: The difference is not noticeable in the oral. But it is to the paper that we perceive it. A sentence always begins by capital letter, which means the first letter of the word begins with a big letter, as those on the sheet which I gave you. Other words take a small letter as those whom I have just made for you.
Melinda gives her a pen so that she can write them. Eunice imitates letters on a paper while pronouncing them with a big energy.
Eunice: But finally it is easy to read and to write.
Melinda: What I have just made for you is only the first stage. There will be still the others. Now it is necessary to go to sleep. You must be tired !
Eunice: Oh in no way! I want to spend all my evening to learn !
Melinda: Keep your energy for tomorrow. You will see new things !
Eunice: I am impatient !
The following day, Melinda announces something important to Eunice.
Melinda: My mother and I spoke about you. She knows that you are illiterate.
Eunice (surprised): But you......
Melinda (she interrupted her): She realized it and she wants to help you !
Eunice(amazed): Really ?
Melinda: Yes! She wants to give you courses while I shall be at the university. And in the evening, I shall also give you them. The better you will have courses and the better you will learn fast .
Eunice: I can't believe it ! I do not know how to thank you !
Melinda: We wish the best for you. You deserve another life and another profession.
Eunice: But I always want to serve you !
Melinda: You will always be welcome ! Do not forget that we are as sisters.
Melinda embraces Eunice. Eunice sees her dream coming true. She discovers finally the joy of living. She has to think now of her future life!
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 07-02-2010 09:08
titre
Message de mimi-21 posté le 06-02-2010 à 23:19:21 (S | E | F)
Bonsoir ,pouvez-vous me corriger cette rédaction s'il vous plâit
Eunice is a maid who works at the Converdales for some months. Melinda reads English at University. She is Eunice's employer. The scene takes place at the Converdales, exactly in the dining room during the afternoon. Eunice has a problem. She can neither read nor write. She fears Melinda's parents might fire her on getting to know.
Sitting on the sofa, both women keep silent one moment.
Melinda ( turned to Eunice ) : It was necessary to say to me that you was illiterate. I did not want to put you ill-at-ease ! I am really sorry
Eunice ( looking melinda): Well ! I do not know what to say. I was afraid of your parents. But do I have to make now ? I do not want your parents know it. Promises me not to say to them !
Melinda (hesitated one moment): I promise you ! But you should not worry, ok ! My parents are kind persons, you know ? I find that your case is not also desperate as that !
Eunice (looked at Melinda with stupefication): I am an illiterate
Melinda: i know ! But you can learn to read and write. It's not difficult.
Eunice (opened her big eyes): It is easier to say than to make !
Melinda: I can help you, it is not a problem.
Eunice feels enjoyment. She takes confidence in her
Eunice: I always dreamed to know to read and write as everybody. Your proposition gives me a big hope !
Melinda: Are you ready to make big efforts ?
Eunice: Oh ! More than ever !
Melinda: First you have to learn the alphabet !
Eunice: I do not want to disturb you, you have your studies!
Melinda: It is not a problem. It makes me a big pleasure to help a person. And I always considered you as a sister, isn't it ?
Eunice: It's true ! And I thank you for it!
Melinda: Take this sheet of alphabet. I also give you this cassette so that you can listen to the alphabet and follow at the same time on the sheet. In the evening we shall review all this.
Eunice thanks Melinda. This one leaves the room to go to the university and Eunice takes back her work. In the evening, Melinda visits Eunice in her room.
Melinda: I see that you are spirit to learn. Recite me some letters, do you want ?
Eunice recites all the alphabet.
Melinda (astonished): It is formidable! You said everything. I see in you a big will !
Eunice: It is thanks to you !
Melinda: Now that you learned the alphabet, it will be necessary to memorize and to write them.
I thought of you just and I wrote you the alphabet in small letter.
Eunice: What is the difference between capital letter and small letter ?
Melinda: The difference is not noticeable in the oral. But it is to the paper that we perceive it. A sentence always begins by capital letter, which means the first letter of the word begins with a big letter, as those on the sheet which I gave you. Other words take a small letter as those whom I have just made for you.
Melinda gives her a pen so that she can write them. Eunice imitates letters on a paper while pronouncing them with a big energy.
Eunice: But finally it is easy to read and to write.
Melinda: What I have just made for you is only the first stage. There will be still the others. Now it is necessary to go to sleep. You must be tired !
Eunice: Oh in no way! I want to spend all my evening to learn !
Melinda: Keep your energy for tomorrow. You will see new things !
Eunice: I am impatient !
The following day, Melinda announces something important to Eunice.
Melinda: My mother and I spoke about you. She knows that you are illiterate.
Eunice (surprised): But you......
Melinda (she interrupted her): She realized it and she wants to help you !
Eunice(amazed): Really ?
Melinda: Yes! She wants to give you courses while I shall be at the university. And in the evening, I shall also give you them. The better you will have courses and the better you will learn fast .
Eunice: I can't believe it ! I do not know how to thank you !
Melinda: We wish the best for you. You deserve another life and another profession.
Eunice: But I always want to serve you !
Melinda: You will always be welcome ! Do not forget that we are as sisters.
Melinda embraces Eunice. Eunice sees her dream coming true. She discovers finally the joy of living. She has to think now of her future life!
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 07-02-2010 09:08
titre
Réponse: Correction/Eunice is a maid de brettdallen, postée le 07-02-2010 à 00:57:56 (S | E)
Bonsoir,
C'est bien long, tout ça! je vais vous proposer des commentaires en plusieurs phases...
Eunice is a maid who works(present perfect, non?) at the Converdales for some months. Melinda reads English at University. She is Eunice's employer. The scene takes place at the Converdales, exactly in the dining room during the afternoon. Eunice has a problem. She can neither read nor write. She fears Melinda's parents might fire her on getting to know( ou "if they heard about it").
Sitting on the sofa, both women keep silent one moment.
Melinda ( turned to Eunice ) : It was necessary to say to(utilisez "should + present perfect + verbe "tell") me that you was(quand même!) illiterate. I did not want to put you ill-at-ease (je ne comprends pourquoi cette phrase..)! I am really sorry
Eunice ( looking(+ préposition) melinda): Well ! I do not know what to say. I was afraid of your parents. But do I have to make( que voulez-vous dire? "leur dire"?) now ? I do not want your parents( "to" ) know("about") it. Promises(vérifiez comment fonctionne l'impératif) me not to say to(chosissez un autre verbe) them !
Melinda (hesitated one moment): I promise
Eunice (looked at Melinda with stupefication(orthographe)): I am
Melinda: i know ! But you can learn to read and write. It's not difficult.
Eunice (opened her big eyes): It is easier to say than to make("Easier said than done!") !
Melinda: I can help you, it is not a problem.
Amicalement.
Réponse: Correction/Eunice is a maid de dolfine56, postée le 07-02-2010 à 09:20:21 (S | E)
Hi, Brettdallen,
ill-at-ease = mal à l'aise texto !!!
Réponse: Correction/Eunice is a maid de brettdallen, postée le 07-02-2010 à 09:28:52 (S | E)
Bonjour,
Dolfine, je n'ai pas dit que je ne comprenais pas la phrase(quand même!), mais que je ne voyais ce qu'elle venait faire là...(ou alors je ne visualise pas bien la scène...)
Amicalement.
Réponse: Correction/Eunice is a maid de mimi-21, postée le 07-02-2010 à 13:06:12 (S | E)
Pouvez-vous continuer svp ! Merci pour le début !
j'ai changé la troduction pour traduire mal à l'aise !
I did not want embarasse you !
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