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Correction /love my country

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Correction /love my country
Message de luty posté le 01-01-2010 à 18:35:59 (S | E | F)

hello!

J'ai une rédaction à faire sur la France et j'aimerais que vous m'aidiez à corriger mes erreurs qui je le sais sont nombreuses ^^
je vous fais part de ma rédaction en espérant que vous pourrez m'aider.

I was born and I grew in France but I rarely asked the question do I love my country? It is the question which brings an ambiguous answer on this subject. Do because I always lived in my country it mean that I love it? Or not? I am going to try to answer this question.

I think that if I live in a country it’s because I love it, even if I was born here and that I knew that the only one. Reflect if I don’t like the country wherein I live why stay? Nobody obliges me there! The language perhaps!? And if I don’t love my country I would have made everything to leave but this doesn’t mean that I love either. I have mixed feelings on this subject. France is a country nice to live for various reasons. First of all, she owns landscapes diversified that assembles the sea, the mountains, the green vegetable, and that allows to get away to us in departments also different some as others. A population uniting several origins. A capital city, Paris known in the whole wild world for his food, his fashion with his fashion week, his emporium haute couture, his architectures, his sights like the Eiffel tower. We also have the chance to have good living conditions and to be a rich country. But there are too disadvantages as our language, she isn’t as universal as English, the weather sometimes sad, this lack of jollity because of these too grey buildings, and the lack of enthusiasm of people.


Lastly, I can say not no that I love but I like my country. I shall always find it defects but I think that we haven’t to complain because our country doesn’t know the famine, a big poverty, the war etc. Like this, I like it for all the good and the bad.


merci de l'aide que vous m'apporterez and Happy new year!


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Modifié par lucile83 le 01-01-2010 18:38


Réponse: Correction /love my country de seb06000, postée le 01-01-2010 à 18:47:07 (S | E)

bonsoir,

je vous indique ce qui ne va pas

'I was born and I grew in France but I rarely asked the question do I love my country? ( vous devriez mettre des guillemets) It is the question which brings an ambiguous answer on (erreur de préposition) this subject. Do because I always lived in my country it mean that I love it? Or not?( trop compliqué comme structure..) I am going to try to answer this question.

I think that if I live in a country it’s( it's, reprise du sujet est un calque inutile) because I love it, even if I was born here and that I knew that the only one. Reflect if (sens?) I don’t like the country wherein I live why stay? Nobody obliges me there! The language perhaps!? And if I don’t love my country I would have made everything to leave but this doesn’t mean that I love either. I have mixed feelings on this subject. France is a country nice to live for various reasons. First of all, she owns landscapes diversified( l'adjectif est épithète en anglais..) that assembles (voc) the sea, the mountains, the green vegetable, and that allows to get away to us in departments also different some as others. A population uniting several origins. A capital city, Paris known in the whole wild( non pas ici) world for his (erreur de possessif à changer pour les suivants aussi) food, his fashion with his fashion week, his emporium haute couture, his architectures, his sights like the Eiffel tower. We also have the chance to have good living conditions and to be a rich country. But there are too disadvantages as our language, she isn’t as universal as English, the weather sometimes sad, this lack of jollity (voc) because of these too grey buildings, and the lack of enthusiasm of people.


Lastly, I can say not no (sens?)  that I love but I like my country. I shall always find it defects but I think that we haven’t to complain because our country doesn’t know the famine, a big poverty, the war etc. Like this, I like it for all the good and the bad.

Voilà il doit rester des choses à corriger!

Amicalement

sébastien



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Modifié par seb06000 le 01-01-2010 18:48


Réponse: Correction /love my country de luty, postée le 02-01-2010 à 16:52:05 (S | E)
bonjour,


je vous remercie de votre aide, j'ai fait quelques modifications avec l'aide que vous m'avez apportez j'éspere que vous pourrez encore me corriger.
merci et à bientot.

I was born and I grew in France but I rarely asked the question "do I love my country?" It's the question which brings an ambiguous answer over this subject. Do because I always lived in my country it mean that I love it? Or not? I am going to try to answer this question.

I think that if I live in a country it’s because I love it, even if I was born here and that I knew that the only one. let's reflect if I don’t like the country wherein I live why stay? Nobody force me to stay! The language perhaps!? And if I didn’t love my country I would made everything to leave but this doesn’t mean that I love it either. I have mixed feelings on this subject. France is a nice country to live for various reasons. First of all, she owns diversified landscapes that joins the sea, the mountains, the green vegetable, and that allows to escape us in departments also different some as others. A population gather together several origins. A capital city, Paris known in the world for it food, it fashion with it fashion week, it emporium haute couture, it architectures, it sights like the Eiffel tower. We also are luckly to have good living conditions and to be a rich country. But there are too disadvantages as our language, she isn’t as universal as English, the weather sometimes sad, this lack of colous because of these too grey buildings, of enthusiasm and of contact peoples between them.


Lastly, I can't say that I love but I like my country. I shall always find it defects but I think that we haven’t to complain because our country doesn’t know the famine, a big poverty, the war etc. Like this, I like it for all the good and the bad.



Réponse: Correction /love my country de seb06000, postée le 02-01-2010 à 17:06:33 (S | E)
voilà,

je vous donne les choses à améliorer:

-Do because I always lived in my country it mean that I love it? Or not? I am going to try to answer this question. => sens?

- it fashion week, it emporium haute couture, it architectures => it n'est pas pronom possessif mais pronom sujet, c'est presque ça

Amicalement

sébastien


Réponse: Correction /love my country de luty, postée le 03-01-2010 à 22:54:16 (S | E)
bonsoir,

je crois que c "its" non? mais après réflexion j'ai décide de recommencer mon texte et j'espère que vous voudrez bien me corriger en espérant qu'il y aura moins de fautes que la dernière fois ^^

I was born and I grew in France, my native land. But never had I asked the question “Do I love my country?” Perhaps, because I always lived in this country. Regardless I already have an opinion over subject.


I have mixed feelings over this question. France is a nice country to live but he has also disadvantages. First of all, it’s a beautiful country for various reasons. She diversified owns landscapes like the sea, the mountain, the green verdure, the valleys, the river… Many departments all also different each other known features precise like burgundy for the wine, Brittany for seafood etc that make charm of country. Of course, a capital city, Paris famous in the world and that make the pride of France. With its food, its fashion with its fashion week, its emporium haute couture, its architectures, its sights like the Eiffel tower and theses beautiful formal garden. I like France also for his history, heritage that she leaves us. Then a population diversified, gathers together several origins, get along with, much as all the cultures. Finally, this French language that everybody know and so nice. But like I say, she also has disadvantages. A fine language but not as universal as English, peoples little enthusiasms, talkative, size up, smooth-polished, but the people aren’t principal trouble. There are also the beautiful landscape sometimes vitiated for the bad weather very present as well as the cold temperature. But it’s that qualifies France with its good and bad sides!


Lastly, I come at the conclusion that I love my country. This question helps me to ponder pros and cons because I realize there are more positives points whereas I canned think the contrary. Like this, I can say that I love France for the good and the bad things.

merci et à bientôt j'espere.



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