conférence climatique /Correction

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conférence climatique /Correction
Message de morganoux20 posté le 18-11-2009 à 16:33:02 (S | E | F)
Bonsoir, tout le monde !

Est-ce que quelqu'un pourrait m'aider à trouver mes erreurs et m'expliquer comment les corriger (désolé, je pense qu'elles sont nombreuses)? Ceci fait partie d'un devoir d'anglais, où nous devons écrire une lettre supposée être envoyée à des scientifiques pour la conférence climatique de Copenhague 2009 (Je vous invite d'ailleurs à visiter leur site si ça vous intéresse).

[...]
In response to these threats, we have find some ideas to prevent the introduction of, control or eradicate those alien species which threaten ecosystems, habitats, or species :
-We support the creation of an international agency struggle against invasive species. This non-governmental organisation should have a lot of capitals (j'hésite avec "funds") to act all over the world.
-All the governments should make more prevention about invasive species by all the ways available.
-We also think that invasive species hunting should be improve and the trade of invasive species food or all using ways must be developed.
-The merchandising and travelling of wild species should be more controlled by rigorous international laws. That why we think manufacturers are a population to aware quickly.
-Volunteering against invasive species is developing, maybe we can help this associations to accelerate the process.
-At last, and not one of the less important point. We think that states must protect areas which are not yet invaded to slow down the phenomena.

I hope you will take in consideration ours ideas, and we hope that our ideas will be usefully for the good of all.
[...]

Merci à tous ;)

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Modifié par bridg le 18-11-2009 17:59

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Réponse: conférence climatique /Correction de robertbrou, postée le 18-11-2009 à 18:32:14 (S | E)
Bonjour,

Voici mes suggestions.

In response to these threats, we have find (participe passé) some ideas to prevent the introduction of, control or eradicate (utiliser la forme nom) those alien species which threaten (il paraît qu'il manque un adjectif) ecosystems, habitats, or species :

-We support the creation of an international agency struggle (1:utiliser synonyme, 2:à l'infinitif) against invasive species. This non-governmental organisation should have a lot of capitals (invariable) (j'hésite avec "funds" bien joué!) to act (utiliser synonyme) all over the world. (utiliser nom composé commençant par "world")

-All the governments should make more prevention about (je n'ai pas saisi) invasive species by all the ways (1:utiliser synonyme 2:placement) available.

-We also think (utiliser synonyme) that invasive species hunting (placement) should be improved and the trade of invasive species food or all (je n'ai pas saisi) using ways (voir ci-dessus n°1) must be developed.

-The merchandising and travelling (utiliser autre mot) of wild species should be more (placement) controlled by rigorous international laws. That why (traduire C'est pour cette raison...) we think (utiliser synonyme) manufacturers are a population to aware (je n'ai pas saisi) quickly.

-Volunteering against (je n'ai pas saisi) invasive species is developing, maybe we can help this (pluriel) associations to accelerate the process.

-At last, and not one of the less important point (double-cliquer sur 'last' et chercher l'expression idomatique), we think that states must protect areas which are not yet invaded to slow down the phenomena (mettre au singulier).

I hope you will take into consideration ours ideas, and we hope that our ideas will be usefully (utiliser adjectif) for the good of all.
[...]


Hope this helps!

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Réponse: conférence climatique /Correction de morganoux20, postée le 18-11-2009 à 19:55:46 (S | E)
Merci beaucoup de ton aide robertbrou !!! J'ai corrigé le texte, j'espère qu'il y n'y a plus d'erreur, enfin si il y en a moins c'est déjà pas mal :p

In response to these threats, we have found some ideas to prevent the introduction of, control or eradication those alien species which threaten (il paraît qu'il manque un adjectif : pas je vois pas lequel ?) ecosystems, habitats, or species :

-We support the creation of an international agency to fight against invasive species. This non-governmental organisation should have a lot of funds to take action internationally (Je n'ai pas trouvé le mot en question...).

-All governments should prevent more people about invasive species by all available means.

-We also believe that hunting invasive species should be improved. Reseach should focus on the using of Invasive species in industrial activities.

-The merchandising and flux of wild species should more be controlled by rigorous international laws. For these reasons we believe manufacturers are a population to inform quickly.

-Volunteers Associations against invasive species are developing, maybe can we help these associations to accelerate the process.

-Last but not the least point, we think that states must protect areas which are not yet invaded to slow down the phenomenon.

I hope you will take into consideration ours ideas, and we hope that our ideas will be useful for the good of all.

J'ai peur que ce soit pire :s à vous de me dire, et merci encore !!!

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Réponse: conférence climatique /Correction de morganoux20, postée le 18-11-2009 à 20:08:13 (S | E)
Oups, je confonds to aware et to warn pour dire prévenir...

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Réponse: conférence climatique /Correction de robertbrou, postée le 19-11-2009 à 18:50:29 (S | E)
Bonjour,

Ce n'est pas pire! Voici mes suggestions:

In response to these threats, we have found some ideas to prevent the introduction of, control or eradication those alien species which threaten ecosystems, habitats, or species (partout au monde, localisé? ... par exemple):

-We support the creation of an international agency to fight against invasive species. This non-governmental organisation should have a lot of capital (désolé pour la confusion) to take action worldwide.

-All governments should prevent more people (En anglais, you prevent somone from doing something. Quand je lis cette phrase, je pense immédiatement à "inform") about invasive species by all available means.

-We also believe that hunting invasive species should be improved. (How?) Research should focus on the usage of /ou/ using Invasive species in industrial activities (moi, je préférerais 'applications'.

-The merchandising and flux (faux ami-utiliser 'transport') of wild species should more (placement: more modifie laws) be controlled by rigorous international laws. For these reasons we believe manufacturers are a population to inform (question: qui informe qui?) quickly.

-Volunteers Associations against invasive species are developing. Maybe can we help these associations to accelerate the process.

-Last but not the least point, we think that states must protect areas which are not yet invaded to slow down the phenomenon.

I hope you will take into consideration ours ideas, and we hope that our ideas will be useful for the good of all.

Hope this helps!

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