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Need aids/ correction

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Need aids/ correction
Message from patricien posted on 07-01-2024 at 10:02:50 (D | E | F)
Hello everyone,
in this time I learn English myself and I'm aiming to participate in IELTS exams. I wrote this task 2 IELTS writing samples, which discuss the relevance of house possession.
Your correction is the most precious support for my linguistic study.
Thank you in advance!

Around over the world, the accommodation is always one of the most priorities for human life. The fact that, in certain countries, owning a home is more preferred than renting one and it’s very important for their habitats.
Why this is the case? It’s undoubted that possessing home brings to people the safety and comfortable feeling. Shelter is a place where most of human routine activities happen, for example: cooking, eating, body washing, leisure, relaxing, sleeping, recovering and so on. As a result, the desire of owning a home is inevitable to ensure not only the basic needs for human existence but also for civil life. Indeed, people consider house as an estate fortune, they can give it to their children become adults in order to prepare their life in the future. Therefore, the latter can stabilize early their living because of housing availability, either when they live alone or with their partner.
In my opinion, it is beneficial for people if someone else’s financial condition allows them to possess their own home, though the amount of money to buy a house is really big regarding individual average income in most countries. However, in the purpose of becoming homeowners, even having a house as comfortable as possible for them, people will have more motivation to work hard, earn more money, which contributes more particularly to the local economy and generally to national one. Concerning people renting home, no matter what their impact or their purpose is, I still recommend them to have a long-term plan for buying a house, it’s a long journey but totally direct.
In conclusion, the need of possessing home is relevant for people. Depending on individual financial condition and desire, each one should decide if they like to have their own house.


Re: Need aids/ correction from gerondif, posted on 08-01-2024 at 12:10:32 (D | E)
Hello
mistakes in blue
Around over (all over) the world, the accommodation is always one of the most priorities(most + adjective, the highest priorities) for human life. The fact is that, in certain countries, owning a home is more preferred (ranks higher) than renting one and it’s very important for their habitats.
Why this is (invert) the case? It’s undoubted (use undoubtable) that possessing home brings to people the safety and comfortable feeling. (a feeling of comfort) Shelter is a place where most of human routine activities happen, for example: cooking, eating, body washing, leisure, relaxing, sleeping, recovering and so on. As a result, the desire of owning a home is inevitable to ensure not only the basic needs for human existence but also for civil life. Indeed, people consider (their) house as an estate fortune, they can give it to their children (once they have ) become adults in order to prepare their life in the future. Therefore, the latter can stabilize their living early because of housing availability, either when they live alone or with their partner.
In my opinion, it is beneficial for people if someone else’s financial condition allows them to possess their own home, though the amount of money to buy a house is really big regarding individual average income in most countries. However, in the purpose of becoming homeowners, even having a house as comfortable as possible for them, people will have more motivation to work hard, earn more money, which contributes more particularly to the local economy and generally to the national one. Concerning people renting home, no matter what their impact or their purpose is, I still recommend advise them to have a long-term plan for buying a house, it’s a long journey but totally direct.
In conclusion, the need of possessing a home is relevant for people. Depending on individual financial conditions and desire, each one (everyone) should decide if they would like to have their own house or not.



Re: Need aids/ correction from gerondif, posted on 17-01-2024 at 13:03:00 (D | E)
Hello
I see that you came on the site on the fifteenth. You should write a note, just a brief thank you for example, so that the corrector can see that his message has been read, that he was useful.



Re: Need aids/ correction from patricien, posted on 21-01-2024 at 06:17:55 (D | E)
M.gerondif, thank you so much for your correction. I think you have taken too much time to read and correct my long writing.
Best regards.




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