Let's suggest/16

Let's suggest/16
Message de here4u posté le 10-06-2022 à 22:34:45 (S | E | F)
Hello, dear Workers!

Voici un nouvel exercice d'expression ... Espérons que vous allez vous y risquer ...

Je vous en prie ... Osez participer ! N'ayez pas peur de vous tromper, de faire des fautes, ou d'écrire "hors sujet". Les fautes nous sont utiles, puisqu'elles permettent de réfléchir, de faire des corrections et de donner des explications ...
Paradoxalement, faire une faute est la meilleure chose qui puisse NOUS arriver, à vous, comme à moi ! Merci à ceux qui en font !
N'ayez pas de scrupules, vous ne serez pas jugés, mais simplement guidés et aidés ...
C'est en pratiquant, encore et souvent, que les progrès viendront ! N'hésitez donc pas à intervenir, pour la correction des expressions de vos co-workers, comme pour l'écriture de votre propre expression si vous le désirez ... (Vous pouvez aussi - et certains ne s'en privent presque pas ...) écrire sur le "mode de la conversation", comme vous "parleriez" !)

Voici le rappel des modalités de la première partie de l'exercice :
1. Je vous demande une EXPRESSION sur le sujet proposé (un sujet unique par exercice) à m’envoyer en mp dès que possible … (=> 130 - 150 mots au maximum.)

2. Le plus tôt possible, une première expression est publiée sur le Forum, et CHACUN est libre de « corriger » UNE FOIS ( en collant le texte et indiquant les erreurs EN BLEU, et en soulignant ce qui vous semble maladroit et que vous voudriez changer, sans donner la « correction » (forme correcte), comme il se doit.) Un seul devoir à la fois sera publié pour corriger…

Les modalités complètes sont accessibles :
Lien internet


( Je vous les rappellerai au fur et à mesure de la progression du travail )
Cet exercice sera ... ce que vous en ferez, ou Correction en ligne le dimanche 26 juin 2022.

Voici le nouveau sujet !

"How important are friends in your life? Give examples." (130 - 150 mots au maximum.)

May THE FORCE be with You (with all of you! ) Everybody's welcome! Do not hesitate to write!

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Réponse : Let's suggest/16 de here4u, postée le 11-06-2022 à 19:43:40 (S | E)
Hello dear workers!

(I should say some of you are "fast workers"! Thanks for this!

EXPRESSION N°1: you may indicate possible mistakes in blue and underline what you think is clumsy!

Jane was another part of me. Though our tastes and personalities were different, we only had to look at the other to know what she was thinking.
-For me, mutual trust is the basis of any friendship. We owe each other the truth, even if it hurts sometimes.
-A good friend should be able, with words or facts, to help the other to achieve his or her goals. By working and pulling each other, in times of discouragements, we both succeeded at the university, but took different paths.
-Thanks to her physical or moral presence, a true friend is the one who is there, in the good and bad moments of life. I am the godmother of Jane's son, then, she was my bridesmaid.Later, how comforting it was for me to lean on her shoulder, for my mother's funeral !
I have nice friends I can count on; but I had only one best friend and I miss her!
155 mots

You can help... (por not!)

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Réponse : Let's suggest/16 de maxwell, postée le 11-06-2022 à 20:17:50 (S | E)
Hello!

EXPRESSION N°1: you may indicate possible mistakes in blue and underline what you think is clumsy!

Jane was another part of me. Though our tastes and personalities were different, we only had to look at the other to know what she was thinking.
-For me, mutual trust is the basis of any friendship. We owe each other the truth, even if it hurts sometimes.
-A good friend should be able, with words or facts, to help the other to achieve his or her goals. By working and pulling each other(je ne suis pas sûr de bien comprendre ), in times of discouragements, we both succeeded at the university, but took different paths. (l'absence de mot de liaison rend maladroite l'alternance entre des généralités sur l'amitié (au présent) et l'exemple donné par l'auteur (au passé)
-Thanks to her (her est bon si on parle spécifiquement de Jane. Mais cette phrase est une généralité sur l'amitié) physical or moral presence, a true friend is the one who is there, in the good and bad moments of life. I am the godmother of Jane's son, then, she was my bridesmaid.Later, how comforting it was for me to lean on her shoulder, for my mother's funeral !
I have nice friends I can count on; but I had only one best friend and I miss her!

(les tirets gagneraient à être remplacés par des mots de liaison !)

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Réponse : Let's suggest/16 de amalia80, postée le 13-06-2022 à 07:47:41 (S | E)
Hello !
Here are my corrections, following some of Maxwell's advice.

Jane was another part of me. Though our tastes and personalities were different, we only had to look at each other to know what we were thinking.
For me, mutual trust is the basis of any friendship. We must tell each other the truth, even if it hurts sometimes.
A good friend should be able, with words or facts, to help the other to achieve his or her goals. By working together and motivating each other, in hard times of discouragements , we both succeeded at the university, but took different paths.
Thanks to her or his physical or moral presence, a true friend is the one who is there, in the good and bad moments of life. I am the godmother of Jane's son, then, she was my bridesmaid. Later, how comforting it was for me to lean on her shoulder, for my mother's funeral !
I have nice friends I can count on; but I had only one best friend and I miss her.

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Réponse : Let's suggest/16 de here4u, postée le 13-06-2022 à 11:17:31 (S | E)
Hello dears!

On dirait qu'Amalia a donné (sans le montrer)la "version verte" !

"Green allowed", then!

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Réponse : Let's suggest/16 de maxwell, postée le 13-06-2022 à 20:27:45 (S | E)
Hello!
Je suis reparti de la version modifiée par Amalia car les corrections sont bonnes
EXPRESSION 1: SUGGESTIONS

Jane was another part of me. Though our tastes and personalities were different, we only had to look at each other to know what the other was(1) thinking.

For me, mutual trust is the basis of any friendship. We must tell each other the truth, even if it hurts sometimes.
A good friend should also be able, with words or facts, to help the other to achieve his or her goals. That's how (2) by working together and motivating each other, in hard times of discouragement, we both succeeded at the university, but took different paths(*).

In addition, thanks to their(3) physical or moral presence, a true friend is the one who is there, in the good and bad moments of life. For instance(2), I was(4) the godmother of Jane's son(5), then, she was my bridesmaid. Later, how comforting it was for me to lean on her shoulder, for my mother's funeral!

I have nice friends I can count on, but I had only one best friend and I miss her.

(1) la proposition d'Amalia est bonne mais je l'aurais plus naturellement dit comme ça
(2) mot de liaison essentiel pour passer de la généralité (présent) à l'exemple (passé)
(*) Même si c'est intéressant pour l'anecdote, j'aurais quand même supprimé ce bout de phrase car il n'appuie pas l'argumentation
(3) la proposition d'Amalia était bonne mais comme on a mis plus haut "his or her goals", ça m'a semblé lourd de répéter "his or her"
(4) j'ai peut-être tort de corriger le temps car on est marraine pour la vie. Mais l'enchaînement des faits ultérieurs exprimés au passé m'a semblé nécessiter un passé ici pour être logique.
(5) Une question pour Here4U car on en apprend tous les jours : est-il envisageable d'utiliser un double génitif ? Mais ça semble quand même un peu lourd... : "I am Jane's son's godmother" ?

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Réponse : Let's suggest/16 de amalia80, postée le 14-06-2022 à 07:43:37 (S | E)
Hello!
pour les corrections.
Je ne voyais pas la nécessité des mots de liaison. Pour moi c'était comme dans un film, avec des flash back et non pas une démonstration.
J'avais aussi pensé au double génitif mais c'est tout de même un peu lourd.
Thank you for your help!

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Réponse : Let's suggest/16 de here4u, postée le 15-06-2022 à 22:18:17 (S | E)
Hello dears!

Merci de votre gros travail à tous les deux ... Un petit rappel, cependant. Les deux premiers jours (sauf avis contraire) sont réservés à l'indication des fautes en bleuet des maladresses soulignées.

- Au bout de deux jours (ou après le signal ...) vous pouvez faire vos suggestions en vert. Elles peuvent être suivies de notes courtes ... Chacun a "droit" à une intervention de chaque couleur.

Puis, on met "en sommeil" et je reprends le tout au moment de la correction collective. OK ?

Voici l'EXPRESSION N°2 qui espère vos remarques (erreurs en bleu et maladresses soulignées).

There are several definitions of friendship… The old ones where you have ONE friend only, or not very many… and the new ones where every body have many many friends and seem to collect them and brag with them, stick up the number of your friends same if you haven’t never seen them or meet them.
For me, a friend is not a pal, it is more. With a friend you share your secrets, yours sorrows and he may help you if and when you need it. We must trust him, we must keep his secret and not repeat it, we must make every thing we can to raise his moral when he does not feel well. You play sport with him and others friends and you hang around together. The friendship is so precious because you may keep a friend all your life. 144 words

for your help!

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Réponse : Let's suggest/16 de amalia80, postée le 16-06-2022 à 10:35:41 (S | E)
Hello !
There are several definitions of friendship… The old ones where you have ONE friend only , or not very many… and the new ones where every body have many many friends and seem to collect them and brag with them, stick up the number of your friends same if you haven't never seen them or meet them.
For me, a friend is not a pal, it is more. With a friend you share your secrets, yours sorrows and he may help you if and when, you need it. We must trust him, we must keep his secret and not repeat it, we must make every thing we can to raise his moral when he does not feel well. You play sport with him and others friends and you hang around together. The friendship is so precious because you may keep a friend all your life. 144 words

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Réponse : Let's suggest/16 de maxwell, postée le 16-06-2022 à 20:28:29 (S | E)
Hello!
EXPRESSION 2:
There are several definitions of friendship… The old ones where you have ONE friend only, or not very many… and the new ones where every body have many many friends and seem to collect them and brag with them, stick up the number of your friends same if you haven’t never seen them or meet them.
For me, a friend is not a pal, it is more. With a friend you share your secrets, yours sorrows and he may help you if and when you need it. We must trust him, we must keep his secret and not repeat it, we must make every thing we can to raise his morale when he does not feel well. You play sport with him and others friends and you hang around together. The friendship is so precious because you may keep a friend all your life. 144 words

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Réponse : Let's suggest/16 de here4u, postée le 18-06-2022 à 17:08:56 (S | E)
Hello!

Green allowed, of course!

(Can we agree that green is always allowed after two days of "blue", even if not specified?)

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Réponse : Let's suggest/16 de magie8, postée le 19-06-2022 à 02:02:27 (S | E)
Hello!
EXPRESSION 2:
There are several definitions of friendship… The old one where you have ONE friend , or not () many (only a few…) and the new ones where everyone has many many friends and seems to collect them and brag about[ them. Reduce the number of your friends, vert]specially those you vert]have never[/vert seen() or met[().
For me, a friend is not a pal,] he[ is more] than[. With a friend you share your secrets,] your [sorrows and he ]can[ help you if and when you need it. We ]can[ trust him, ]we are able to[ keep his secret and not repeat it, vert]we must do all we can to cheer him up [/vert when he does not feel well. You play vert]sports with him and other[/vert friends and you hang around together. vert]() Friendship is so precious because you may keep a friend all your life. 144 words

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Réponse : Let's suggest/16 de maxwell, postée le 19-06-2022 à 08:30:49 (S | E)
Hello!
EXPRESSION 2: suggestions
There are several definitions of friendship… The old one(1) where you only have ONE friend or not many… and the new definition(1) where everybody has many, many friends: nowadays, everyone(2) seems to "collect" them and brag about them: they show the number of their friends even if they have never seen or met them.(3)

For me, a friend is not a pal, it is more than that. With a friend, you share your secrets, your sorrows and he may help you if and when you need it. You(4) trust him, you (4) keep his secrets and won't repeat them, you(4) do everything you can to cheer him up(5) when he does not feel well. You play sports with him -and other friends- and you hang around together.

Friendship is very precious because you may keep a friend for life. 144 words

(1) le pluriel ne me semble pas utile ici si la seule opposition est old/new. Par ailleurs, j'ai remplacé "one" par definition car on venait de rajouter "one" (friend) et on commençait à perdre en clarté
(2) la phrase était trop longue
(3) le sens était ambigu et je ne suis pas sûr d'avoir compris l'intention de l'auteur. J'ai interprété ainsi: dans la nouvelle définition de l'amitié, chacun se vante du nombre d'amis qu'il (ou elle) a, même si il (ou elle) ne les a jamais rencontrés.
(4) must me semble mal choisi ici : pour moi, "must" impliquerait une contrainte morale : on s'oblige à le faire, par devoir. Pour moi, si c'est notre ami, on le fait, tout simplement, parce que cela vient du coeur.
(5) il aurait fallu un "e" à morale, mais "cheer up" me semble plus naturel
Par ailleurs, j'ai essayé de maintenir "you" au lieu d'alterner "you" et "we", ce qui est un peu perturbant

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Réponse : Let's suggest/16 de here4u, postée le 19-06-2022 à 13:10:48 (S | E)
Hello!
Magie m'a parlé de ses difficultés avec les couleurs qu'elle a mises et remises plusieurs fois, en vain ... J'ai essayé d'éclaircir sa correction, sans rien rajouter à ce qu'elle avait mis ! Voici sa correction ! J'espère ne pas l'avoir trahie !

EXPRESSION 2:

There are several definitions of friendship… The old one where you have ONE friend, or not many (only a few…) and the new ones where everyone has many many friends and seems to collect them and brag about them. Reduce the number of your friends, specially those you have never seen or met.
For me, a friend is not a pal, he is more (than). With a friend you share your secrets, your sorrows and he can help you if and when you need it. We can trust him, we are able to keep his secret and not repeat it, we must do all we can to cheer him up when he does not feel well. You play sports with him and other friends and you hang around together. Friendship is so precious because you may keep a friend all your life. 144 words

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Réponse : Let's suggest/16 de here4u, postée le 19-06-2022 à 21:11:02 (S | E)
Hello dears!

Here is some more work for you!

EXPRESSION N°3: Please, indicate the possible mistakes in blue, and underline what you think is clumsy...

As far as friendship is concerned, I think that what matters is quality, not quantity... I don't have many friends but my best friend means so much to me!
Thanks to him, I never feel lonely. My greatest happiness is to talk to him: he always makes me laugh, and we speak from the heart in all circumstances. I trust him absolutely and so does he!
In addition, he always finds time for me, either to celebrate my successes or to cheer me up when things go wrong. He gives me confidence when I need it most.
He also has plenty of ideas of activities to get me out of my routine.
What's more, we constantly encourage each other to do better and we give good advice to each other.
Undoubtedly, my life wouldn't be the same without him.
142W

for your help!

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Réponse : Let's suggest/16 de here4u, postée le 22-06-2022 à 23:19:34 (S | E)
Hello!

BON ... personne n'a rien à dire ? Même pas un petit commentaire ? C'est peut-être parfait, après tout !

dernière chance pour vous .... et EXPRESSION N°4 demain!

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Réponse : Let's suggest/16 de here4u, postée le 23-06-2022 à 22:00:57 (S | E)
Hello dears!

OK, then! Here is EXPRESSION N°4!

Friendship is often compared at a form of love which cannot be explained: it can be either better, or not, but it is supposed to be more eternal. Love carries on three years, friendship can do it all the life. Friendship is knowing to give, knowing to listen, knowing to love, knowing to support, knowing to bear, knowing to keep secrets… It is very difficult, but when the friend has this feeling, it is not difficult at all. Even it’s a pleasure. Friendship is a priviledged link between two persons… It is incalculable happiness, and I’m on my nerves when I see the race getting so many friends that possible, just to break a record or to be popular. It’s a pity to debase a great feeling like this one. 135 words.

I do hope you're not on strike and will help this writer, indicating possible mistakes in blue and underlining what you think is clumsy!

Thanks for your help!

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Réponse : Let's suggest/16 de maxwell, postée le 24-06-2022 à 20:12:43 (S | E)
Hello!
EXPRESSION 4:

Friendship is often compared at a form of love which cannot be explained: it can be either better, or not, but it is supposed to be more eternal. Love carries on three years, friendship can do it all the life.(ça me semble utile de changer de paragraphe) Friendship is knowing XXX to give, knowing XXX to listen, knowing XXX to love, knowing XXX to support, knowing XXX to bear, knowing XXX to keep secrets… (ces répétitions rendent le texte trop lourd) It is very difficult, but when the friend has this feeling, it is not difficult at all. Even it’s a pleasure. Friendship is a priviledged link between two persons… It is incalculable happiness, and I’m on my nerves when I see the race getting so many friends that possible, just to break a record or to be popular. It’s a pity to debase a great feeling like this one. 135 words.

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Réponse : Let's suggest/16 de here4u, postée le 25-06-2022 à 21:39:07 (S | E)
Hello!

No other "correction"? Green allowed tomorrow morning!

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Réponse : Let's suggest/16 de maxwell, postée le 26-06-2022 à 08:13:45 (S | E)
Hello!
EXPRESSION 4: SUGGESTIONS

Friendship is often compared to a form of love which cannot be explained: it may be better than love (*) or not, but it is supposed to last longer. Passion(**) is said to last three years, friendship can do it all life.

Actually, friendship is knowing how to give, listen, love, support, bear(***), keep secrets… It seems very difficult to do, but when a friend has this feeling, it is not difficult at all. It’s even a pleasure. Friendship is a special bond between two persons… It is invaluable (****)happiness. That's why seeing the race to tag (****) as many friends as possible just to break a record or to be popular, really gets on my nerves. It’s a pity to debase a great feeling like this one. 135 words.

(*) ça me semble utile de préciser pour plus de clarté
(**) C'est l'amour passion qui dure 3 ans, mais on peut (heureusement) rester amoureux plus longtemps
(***) je ne suis pas sûr que bear soit bien choisi ici, mais dans le doute, je le laisse
(****) j'espère être fidèle à l'auteur ici

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Réponse : Let's suggest/16 de here4u, postée le 26-06-2022 à 22:35:35 (S | E)
Hello, Dear Workers!

Voici vos corrections, celles que vous avez suggérées, et mes réactions face à l'ensemble !

I) EXPRESSION N°1:

Jane was another part of me. Though our tastes and personalities were different, we only had to look at the other to know what she was thinking.
-For me, mutual trust is the basis of any friendship. We owe each other the truth, even if it hurts sometimes.
-A good friend should be able, with words or facts, to help the other to achieve his or her goals. By working and pulling each other, in times of discouragements, we both succeeded at the university, but took different paths.
-Thanks to her physical or moral presence, a true friend is the one who is there, in the good and bad moments of life. I am the godmother of Jane's son, then, she was my bridesmaid. Later, how comforting it was for me to lean on her shoulder, for my mother's funeral !
I have nice friends I can count on; but I had only one best friend and I miss her.(155 mots) TTB (Attention à la cohérence des temps, cependant !)

EXPRESSION 1: SUGGESTIONS

Jane was? (temps?) another part of me/ myself. Though our tastes and personalities were different, we only had to look at each other to know what the other (one)was(1) thinking.
For me, mutual trust is the basis of any friendship. We must tell each other the truth, even if it hurts sometimes.
A good friend should also be able, with words or facts, to help the other to achieve his or her goals. That's how (2) by working together and motivating each other, in hard times of discouragement, we both succeeded at/ in the university, but took different paths(*).

In addition, thanks to their(3) physical or moral presence, a true friend is the one who is [**] there, in the good and bad moments of life. For instance(2), I was(4) the godmother of Jane's son(5), then, she was my bridesmaid. Later, how comforting it was for me to lean on her shoulder, for my mother's funeral!

I have nice friends I can count on, but I had only one best friend and I miss her.

(1) Max dixit : « la proposition d'Amalia est bonne mais je l'aurais plus naturellement dit comme ça » ; j’ajoute : moi aussi !
(2) mot de liaison essentiel pour passer de la généralité (présent) à l'exemple (passé)
(*) Même si c'est intéressant pour l'anecdote, j'aurais quand même supprimé ce bout de phrase car il n'appuie pas l'argumentation. [Moi, il ne me gêne pas, et je le laisserais. Il prouve que même en ayant choisi des domaines différents, Amelia et Jane avaient beaucoup en commun.]
(3) la proposition d'Amalia était bonne mais comme on a mis plus haut "his or her goals", ça m'a semblé lourd de répéter "his or her" [OK. Préférer le pluriel qui est maintenant très courant. C'est beaucoup moins lourd et très facile !)]
[** Attention ! "there", marque toujours l’éloignement dans l’espace ou dans le temps. Pour indiquer l’amitié (la proximité), «here» est forcément meilleur.]
(4) "j'ai peut-être tort de corriger le temps car on est marraine pour la vie. Mais l'enchaînement des faits ultérieurs exprimés au passé m'a semblé nécessiter un passé ici pour être logique."[ L’un ou l’autre ne me gêne pas … ]
(5) "Une question : est-il envisageable d'utiliser un double génitif ? Mais ça semble quand même un peu lourd ...": "I am Jane's son's godmother" [Je ne l’utiliserais pas. La solution d’Amalia me semble bonne. ]
[J’ajouterais que pour pallier votre principale difficulté, qui mène à quelques lourdeurs, j’aurais choisi tout le long du texte, la solution du compromis (sur le «his or her» …): le pluriel ! D’ailleurs, le sujet était : "How important are friends [ au pluriel !] in your life? Give examples." Si vous vouliez ensuite parler de « votre meilleur ami(e) », why not ? You’re welcome ! C’est d’ailleurs ce qui a été fait dans l’EXPRESSION N°3 aussi. Attention, donc, de bien respecter le sujet et de ne pas le réduire d’emblée !]

II) EXPRESSION N°2:

There are several definitions of friendship… The old one where you have ONE friend only, or not very many… and the new one where everybody (have many many friends and (seem to collect them and brag with them, (stick up ? the number of your friends (same if you (haven’t never seen them or (meet them.
For me, a friend is not a pal, (it is more. With a friend you share your secrets, (yours sorrows and (he may help you if and when you need it. We must trust him, we must keep his (secret and not repeat (it(Phrase trop longue !), we must (make every thing we can to (raise his (moral when (he does not feel(aspect en -ing) well. You play (sport with him and (others friends and you hang around together. (The friendship is so precious because you may keep a friend (all your life. 144 words

EXPRESSION 2: suggestions

There are several definitions of friendship… The old one(1) where you only have ONE friend or not many… and the new definition(1) where everybody has many, many friends: nowadays, everyone (2) seems to "collect" them and brag about TB them: they show the number of their friends even if they have never seen or met them.(3)
For me, a friend is not a pal, [it : ce « it » me gêne vraiment !, même si l’on peut le comprendre comme = «friendship»!] is more than that. With a friend, you share your secrets, your B sorrows and he may help you if and when you need it. You(4) trust him, you (4) keep his secrets (C’est B d’avoir choisi le pluriel !) and won't repeat them, you(4) do everything you can to cheer him up(5) when he does not feel well. You play sports with him -and other friends- and you hang around together.
Friendship is very precious because you may keep a friend for life. 144 wordsTBien corrigé !

EXPRESSION 2:suggestions Magie

There are several definitions of friendship… The old one where you have ONE friend, or not many (only a few…) TB and the new (ones : [ici, je comprends «la nouvelle définition", au singulier !] where everyone has many many friends and seems to collect them and (brag about B them. Reduce (Un impératif ? un modal l'adoucirait !) the number of your friends, (specially those you have never seen or met.
For me, a friend is not a pal, he is more (than)[than that]. With a friend you share your secrets, your sorrows and he can help you if and when you need it. We can trust him, we are able to keep his secret and not repeat it, we must do all we can to cheer him up when he does not feel well. You play sports with him and other friends and you hang around together. Friendship is so precious because you may keep a friend all your life. 144 words
TB correction, Magie ! Bravo !

Reprise des suggestions de Maxwell et de Magie (qui sont très bonnes !) [Mes remarques – ou « arbitrages » sont écrits entre crochets. [XX].
(1) "le pluriel ne me semble pas utile ici si la seule opposition est old/new. Par ailleurs, j'ai remplacé "one" par « definition » car on venait de rajouter "one" (friend) et on commençait à perdre en clarté." [Bien ! C’était nécessaire ! ]
(2) La phrase était trop longue. [OK]
(3) Le sens était ambigu et je ne suis pas sûr d'avoir compris l'intention de l'auteur. J'ai interprété ainsi: dans la nouvelle définition de l'amitié, chacun se vante du nombre d'amis qu'il (ou elle) a, même si il (ou elle) ne les a jamais rencontrés.[J’ai compris la même chose … et je ne pense pas que le sens soit ambigu … C’est une critique de la superficialité des « nouvelles amitiés » !]
(4) "must" me semble mal choisi ici : pour moi, "must" impliquerait une contrainte morale : on s'oblige à le faire, par devoir.[Ou par obligation ...] Pour moi, si c'est notre ami, on le fait, tout simplement, parce que cela vient du coeur.[OK, mais comme tu le dis, c'est ton point de vue !]
(5) "il aurait fallu un "e" à "morale", mais "cheer up" me semble plus naturel [Tout à fait d’accord !]
Par ailleurs, j'ai essayé de maintenir "you" au lieu d'alterner "you" et "we", ce qui est un peu perturbant [OK]
(6) [Un lien intéressant pour en savoir plus sur le vocabulaire ( et les usages …) des réseaux sociaux … Lien internet
]


III)EXPRESSION N°3:

As far as friendship is concerned, I think that what matters is quality, not quantity... I don't have many friends but my best friend means so much to me!
Thanks to him, I never feel lonely. My greatest happiness is to talk to him: he always makes me laugh, and we speak from the heart in all circumstances. I trust him absolutely and so does he!
In addition, he always finds time for me, either to celebrate my successes or to cheer me up when things go wrong. He gives me confidence when I need it most.
He also has plenty of ideas of activities to get me out of my routine.
What's more, we constantly encourage each other to do better and we give good advice to each other.
Undoubtedly, my life wouldn't be the same without him. TTB
142W 0 faute réussi ! BRAVO !


IV)EXPRESSION N°4:

Friendship is often compared (at a form of love which cannot be explained: it can (be either better, or not, but it is supposed to be (more eternal ??? How can anything be «more eternal»?]. Love (carries on three years, friendship can (do it (all the life. Friendship is knowing XXX to give, knowing XXX to listen, knowing XXX to love, knowing XXX to support xxxxxx, knowing XXX to bear, knowing XXX to keep secrets… It is very difficult, but when the friend has this feeling, the not is ??? not difficult at all. It’s (a pleasure even. Friendship is a (priviledged link between two persons… It is incalculable happiness, and I’m on my nerves when I see the race getting so many friends that possible, just to break a record or to be popular. It’s a pity to debase a great feeling like this one. 135

EXPRESSION 4: SUGGESTIONS

Friendship is often compared to a form of love which cannot be explained: it may be better than love (1) or not, but it is supposed to last longer. Passion(2) is said to last B three years, friendship can do it all life.

Actually, friendship is knowing how to give, listen, love, support, bear(3 [ serait plus clair ,avec un complément !]), keep secrets…[J’aimais bien la répétition de «how to + verbe» qui donnait de la force au propos ; mais c’est OK sans !] It seems very difficult to do, but when a friend has this feeling, it is not difficult at all.[Pour moi, ce n’est pas très clair …] It’s even a pleasure. Friendship is a special bond between two persons… It is invaluable (4)TTB happiness. That's why seeing the race to tag (4) as many friends as possible just to break a record or to be popular, really gets on my nerves TTB(5) . It’s a pity to debase a great feeling like this one. 135 words.Bien. TB correction, mais il reste des phrases peu claires ...

(1) ça me semble utile de préciser pour plus de clarté [J’ai envie de dire « En quoi ? » Il FAUT éclaircir !]
(2) C'est l'amour passion qui dure 3 ans, mais on peut (heureusement) rester amoureux plus longtemps ! [Ah ! Good ! On a un spécialiste parmi nous ! ]
(3) Je ne suis pas sûr que "bear" soit bien choisi ici, mais dans le doute, je le laisse [Je le laisserais en l'éclaircissant !]
(4) J'espère être fidèle à l'auteur ici [Je pense que tu l’es ! ]
(5) [Bien pour la correction de l’expression : «To get on sby’s nerves».] Lien internet
Lien internet



Voilà un gros travail, encore ... Bravo à vous et bravo aussi pour la participation aux corrections ... Vous prenez tellement bien l'initiative que je n'ai plus beaucoup de corrections à rajouter ... C'est " le but du jeu " !

Si vous le désirez, vous pouvez, comme d'habitude, réécrire tout ou partie d'une ou des EXPRESSIONS qui ne vous sembleraient pas encore très claires dans un Follow up Work ... (J'avoue qu'il y a des passages que j'aimerais voir reconstruits, et nuancés ... ) mais je vous rappelle que ce travail complémentaire est facultatif. Je corrigerai tous les essais d'améliorations ...

Encore MERCI et BRAVO!

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Réponse : Let's suggest/16 de maxwell, postée le 27-06-2022 à 21:16:06 (S | E)
READY TO BE CORRECTED
Hello!
Je me lance

EXPRESSION 1: SUGGESTIONS

Jane was(1) another part of me/ myself. Though our tastes and personalities were different, we only had to look at each other to know what the other (one) was thinking.
For me, mutual trust is the basis of any friendship. We must tell each other the truth, even if it hurts sometimes.
A good friend should also be able, with words or deeds(2), to help the other to achieve their goals. That's how by working together and motivating each other, in hard times of discouragement, we both succeeded at/in the university, even though we(3) took different paths.

In addition, thanks to their physical or moral presence, a true friend is the one who is here, in the good and bad moments of life. For instance, I was the godmother of Jane's son, then, she was my bridesmaid. Later, how comforting it was for me to lean on her shoulder, for my mother's funeral!

I have nice friends I can count on, but I had only one best friend and I miss her.


(1) J'avais hésité: le présent se justifie car une personne que l'on aime reste dans notre coeur et notre mémoire toute la vie. Mais j'ai trouvé que le passé était habilement utilisé dès le début pour indiquer (avec pudeur) que l'être aimé n'était plus de ce monde. Je préfère "was".
(2) était-ce ce que tu attendais ?
(3) comme ça, ça me plaît




EXPRESSION 2: suggestions
There are several definitions of friendship… The old one where you only have ONE friend or not many… and the new definition where everybody has many, many friends: nowadays, everyone seems to "collect" them and brag about them: they show the number of their friends even if they have never seen or met them.
For me, a friend is not a pal, he(1) is more than that. With a friend, you share your secrets, your sorrows and he may help you if and when you need it. You trust him, you keep his secrets and won't repeat them, you do everything you can to cheer him up when he does not feel well. You play sports with him -and other friends- and you hang around together.
Friendship is very precious because you may keep a friend for life. 144 words

(1) J'ai choisi "he", car dans la suite du texte, on a fait le même choix. Fallait-il mettre "they" alors qu'on parle explicitement d'un ami ("With a friend")


III)EXPRESSION N°3:

As far as friendship is concerned, I think that what matters is not quantity but (1) quality ... I don't have many friends but my best friend means so much to me!
Thanks to him, I never feel lonely. My greatest happiness is to talk to him: he always makes me laugh, and we speak from the heart in all circumstances. I trust him absolutely and so does he!
In addition, he always finds time for me, either to celebrate my successes or to cheer me up when things go wrong. He gives me confidence when I need it most.
He also has plenty of ideas of activities to get me out of my routine.
What's more, we constantly encourage each other to do better and we give good advice to each other(2).
Undoubtedly, my life wouldn't be the same without him.
142W

(1) Etait-ce ce que tu attendais ?
(2) je ne vois même pas ce qui ne va pas. Fallait-il mettre to one another?

EXPRESSION 4: SUGGESTIONS


Friendship is often compared to love: like love, we can't explain why two people become friends. Friendship may be better than love (1) or not, but it often lasts longer. Passion is said to last three years, friendship can do it all life.

Actually, friendship is knowing how to give, knowing how to listen, knowing how to love, knowing how to support, knowing how to bear the small flaws of the other, knowing how to keep secrets… It seems rather difficult to do, but with your friend, it all becomes natural. It’s even a pleasure. Friendship is a special bond between two persons… It is invaluable happiness. That's why seeing the race to collect as many friends as possible just to break a record or to be popular, really gets on my nerves. It’s a pity to debase a great feeling like this one. 135 words

(1) Tant pis, je prends un risque : je ne sais pas si je suis fidèle à l'auteur ?

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Réponse : Let's suggest/16 de here4u, postée le 03-07-2022 à 00:00:22 (S | E)
Hello !

Merci pour ce Follow up Work...

Je commence ... Pas certaine de terminer ce soir (euh ... ce matin !)

EXPRESSION 1: SUGGESTIONS

Jane was another part of myself. Though our tastes and personalities were different, we only had to look at each other to know what the other (one) was thinking.
For me, mutual trust is the basis of any friendship. We must tell each other the truth, even if it hurts sometimes.
A good friend should also be able, with words or deeds/ actions, to help the other achieve their goals. That's how by working together and motivating each other, in hard times of discouragement, we both succeeded at/in the university, even though we took different paths.

In addition, thanks to their physical or moral presence, true friends are those who're here, in the good and bad moments of life. For instance, I was the godmother of Jane's son, then, she was my bridesmaid. Later, how comforting it was for me to lean on her shoulder, for my mother's funeral!
I have nice friends I can count on, but I had only one best friend and I miss her. TTB et TB corrigé!

EXPRESSION 2: suggestions

There are several definitions of friendship… The old one where you only have ONE friend or very few/ (not many)… and the new definition where everybody has many, many 'friends': nowadays, everyone seems to 'collect' them and brag about them: some people publish the number of their friends even if they have never seen or met them.
For me, friends are not pals, they're more than that. With friends, you share your secrets, your sorrows and they may help you if and when you need it. You trust them, you keep their secrets and won't repeat them, you do everything you can to cheer them up when they're not feeling well. You play sports with them and you hang around together.
Friendship is very precious because you may keep a friend, your best friend, for life. 144 words et TB corrigé

Là, j'ai choisi le parti pris du pluriel, pour mieux coller à mon sujet et parce qu'il est possible d'avoir deux ou trois "amis très proches" !


III)EXPRESSION N°3:

As far as friendship is concerned, I think that what matters is not quantity but (1) quality ... I don't have many friends but my best friend means so much to me! (mais dès le début, tu réduis mon sujet ... )
Thanks to him, I never feel lonely. My greatest happiness is to talk to him: he always makes me laugh, and we speak from the heart in all circumstances. I trust him absolutely and so does he!
In addition, he always finds time for me, either to celebrate my successes or to cheer me up when things go wrong.B He gives me confidence when I need it most.
He also has plenty of ideas of activities to get me out of my routine.
What's more, we constantly encourage each other to do better and we give good advice to each other(2).
Undoubtedly, my life wouldn't be the same without him.
142W

(1) Etait-ce ce que tu attendais ?
(2) je ne vois même pas ce qui ne va pas. Fallait-il mettre to one another? (J'aurais changé la structure et utilisé le verbe, moins lourd) ... Mais c'est OK! Un très bon travail et une bonne correction.

EXPRESSION 4: SUGGESTIONS

Friendship is often compared to love: like love, we can't explain why two people become friends. Friendship may be better than love (1) or not, but it often lasts longer. Passion is said to last three years, friendship can do it all life.

Actually, friendship is knowing how to give, knowing how to listen, knowing how to love, knowing how to support, knowing how to bear the small flaws of the other, knowing how to keep secrets… It seems rather difficult to do, but with your friend, it all becomes natural. It’s even a pleasure. Friendship is a special bond between two persons… It is invaluable happiness. That's why seeing the race to collect as many friends as possible just to break a record or to be popular, really gets on my nerves. It’s a pity to debase a great feeling like this one. 135 words (such?)

(1) Tant pis, je prends un risque : je ne sais pas si je suis fidèle à l'auteur ?Je ne trouve toujours pas que c'est clair ... mais je pense que c'est ce que l'auteur voulait dire ...

et de votre aide et de tout votre travail !

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