Correction/ devoir
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Message de amel66 posté le 24-04-2022 à 11:46:36 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
J'ai un devoir à rendre avec cette consigne :
"Faites un bilan du semestre du module éloquence anglaise (semestre d'impro en anglais). Votre devoir doit être étayé et argumenté. Un regard critique constructif est bienvenu. Ce format est volontairement libre. Je veux voir comment vous vous êtes approprié les concepts abordés et les conseils donnés et comment cela nourrit votre réflexion personnelle dans l’acquisition de compétences associées à votre éloquence. N’oubliez pas de bien structurer votre devoir. Ne négligez pas vos introduction et conclusion. Barème : anglais /10 ; structure/réflexion/concepts-clés compris et appropriés /10".
Pourriez-vous me corriger/ me donner votre avis ?
Voici ce que j'ai écrit :
This semester I attended for the first time improv classes without any theatrical experience. I was taught techniques that are specific to this discipline but also developed personal skills. Those could be reused in my future professional life as well. We can then wonder : "What did it bring me ?". This question will be answered through the exploration of different themes (my expectations, what I learned...).
I wanted to join this class for the reason that I mentioned when I applied : I often searched my words when I spoke. To avoid it, I thought about what I wanted to say before saying it. It made conversations with natives complicated. The main reason I came was to improve my spontaneity. Also, I knew people that did improv and they seemed so pleased that I wanted to try this activity but never dared to do it. I eventually took the plunge at the university because my friends wanted to give it a go too. Coming to this class allowed me to kill two birds with one stone.
Even if we didn't have a lot of time per week, I realized I improved in this domain : I have more ideas than when I began. I feel more confident when speaking English. Indeed, I don't have to think before speaking anymore. I somewhat overcame my fear of saying something « stupid » or that did not fit perfectly. Although, I still have to work on my eloquence (speaking louder, having a better pronunciation) and my ease to speak in front of many people. Nonetheless, I think that improv was the best option to begin my journey of learning public speaking. It puts less pressure as we don't have to write something and then recite it perfectly -which is difficult for me as I don't have a good memory-. This competence will be useful for my job as I want to be a mathematician. Speaking in front of people all day, teaching maths or participating in conferences to share my research will be an important part of my daily work.
During the semester, we improved our listening and concentration. We learned to be in the moment and to let go. We also learned the 10 rules of improv and discovered the notion of tilt but also the importance of having a character purpose firstly through extracts of Impro for Storytellers by Keith Johnstone and then through our scenes.
I was surprised by the accessibility of the exercises because I saw several improv shows before and it seemed really hard. Moreover, I feel like I memorized vocabulary much better than in a "classical" English class even though I didn't study it out of school. As we worked on essential things in everyday life while having fun, I actually would like to continue taking improv classes in English or even in French. I liked that everyone was benevolent and that we could pick a character purpose if we didn't have one instead of being completely helpless.
I still wish that we treated how to show the public that a scene is a flashback though. I would also have liked to learn the techniques used in long-form improv but I am conscious that it is complicated to set up as we are beginners and have little time to practice.
Finally, I can say that this course allowed me to work on personal skills such as active listening or being more spontaneous and to discover public speaking. Also, I met new beautiful people. Moreover, it allowed me to start to gain eloquence by allowing me to speak freely in front of other people. I hope to keep learning the art of public speaking, which will be a real asset to my professional life and amazes me.
Merci d'avance de vos réponses et d'avoir pris le temps de me lire,
Bonne journée.
Message de amel66 posté le 24-04-2022 à 11:46:36 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
J'ai un devoir à rendre avec cette consigne :
"Faites un bilan du semestre du module éloquence anglaise (semestre d'impro en anglais). Votre devoir doit être étayé et argumenté. Un regard critique constructif est bienvenu. Ce format est volontairement libre. Je veux voir comment vous vous êtes approprié les concepts abordés et les conseils donnés et comment cela nourrit votre réflexion personnelle dans l’acquisition de compétences associées à votre éloquence. N’oubliez pas de bien structurer votre devoir. Ne négligez pas vos introduction et conclusion. Barème : anglais /10 ; structure/réflexion/concepts-clés compris et appropriés /10".
Pourriez-vous me corriger/ me donner votre avis ?
Voici ce que j'ai écrit :
This semester I attended for the first time improv classes without any theatrical experience. I was taught techniques that are specific to this discipline but also developed personal skills. Those could be reused in my future professional life as well. We can then wonder : "What did it bring me ?". This question will be answered through the exploration of different themes (my expectations, what I learned...).
I wanted to join this class for the reason that I mentioned when I applied : I often searched my words when I spoke. To avoid it, I thought about what I wanted to say before saying it. It made conversations with natives complicated. The main reason I came was to improve my spontaneity. Also, I knew people that did improv and they seemed so pleased that I wanted to try this activity but never dared to do it. I eventually took the plunge at the university because my friends wanted to give it a go too. Coming to this class allowed me to kill two birds with one stone.
Even if we didn't have a lot of time per week, I realized I improved in this domain : I have more ideas than when I began. I feel more confident when speaking English. Indeed, I don't have to think before speaking anymore. I somewhat overcame my fear of saying something « stupid » or that did not fit perfectly. Although, I still have to work on my eloquence (speaking louder, having a better pronunciation) and my ease to speak in front of many people. Nonetheless, I think that improv was the best option to begin my journey of learning public speaking. It puts less pressure as we don't have to write something and then recite it perfectly -which is difficult for me as I don't have a good memory-. This competence will be useful for my job as I want to be a mathematician. Speaking in front of people all day, teaching maths or participating in conferences to share my research will be an important part of my daily work.
During the semester, we improved our listening and concentration. We learned to be in the moment and to let go. We also learned the 10 rules of improv and discovered the notion of tilt but also the importance of having a character purpose firstly through extracts of Impro for Storytellers by Keith Johnstone and then through our scenes.
I was surprised by the accessibility of the exercises because I saw several improv shows before and it seemed really hard. Moreover, I feel like I memorized vocabulary much better than in a "classical" English class even though I didn't study it out of school. As we worked on essential things in everyday life while having fun, I actually would like to continue taking improv classes in English or even in French. I liked that everyone was benevolent and that we could pick a character purpose if we didn't have one instead of being completely helpless.
I still wish that we treated how to show the public that a scene is a flashback though. I would also have liked to learn the techniques used in long-form improv but I am conscious that it is complicated to set up as we are beginners and have little time to practice.
Finally, I can say that this course allowed me to work on personal skills such as active listening or being more spontaneous and to discover public speaking. Also, I met new beautiful people. Moreover, it allowed me to start to gain eloquence by allowing me to speak freely in front of other people. I hope to keep learning the art of public speaking, which will be a real asset to my professional life and amazes me.
Merci d'avance de vos réponses et d'avoir pris le temps de me lire,
Bonne journée.
Réponse : Correction/ devoir de gerondif, postée le 25-04-2022 à 11:46:48 (S | E)
Bonjour
Erreurs en bleu. Suggestions en vert.
This semester I attended for the first time improv(c'est sans doute un nom de marque, le verbe étant to improve) classes without any theatrical experience. I was taught techniques that are specific to this discipline but also developed personal skills. Those could be reused in my future professional life as well. We can then wonder : "What did it bring (to) me ?". This question will be answered through the exploration of different themes (my expectations, what I learned...).
I wanted to join this class for the reason that I mentioned when I applied : I often searched (erreur classique : to search, c'est fouiller, chercher avec ses mains, alors que to look for, c'est chercher, rechercher) my words when I spoke. To avoid it, I thought (I would think, un fréquentatif exprimant une manie) about what I wanted to say before saying it. It made conversations with natives complicated. The main reason why I came was to improve my spontaneity. Also(familier et bizarre en tête de phrase. Moreover serait plus "classe"), I knew people that did(plutôt un plus que parfait. Est-ce que "to do improv" va parler à un anglais ? Peut-être "people who had attended improv classes) improv and they seemed so pleased that I wanted to try this activity but had never dared to do it. I eventually took the plunge at the university because my friends wanted to give it a go too. Coming to this class allowed me to kill two birds with one stone.
Even if we didn't have a lot of time(signifie ne pas avoir beaucoup de temps, être pressé. Peut-être dire : Even if we only had a few classes a week) per week, I realized I improved (j'aurais mis soit I had improved, soit I was improving) in this domain : I have more ideas than when I began. I feel more confident when speaking English. Indeed, I don't have to think before speaking anymore. I somewhat overcame my fear of saying something « stupid » or that did not fit perfectly. Although (although est une conjonction, il vous faut un adverbe au sens de pourtant comme yet, still, however), I still have to work on my eloquence (speaking louder, having a better pronunciation) and my ease to speak in front of many people. Nonetheless (nevertheless est plus courant), I think that improv was the best option to begin my journey of learning public speaking. It puts less pressure as we don't have to write something and then recite it perfectly -which is difficult for me as I don't have a good memory-. This competence will be useful for my job as I want to be a mathematician. Speaking in front of people all day, teaching maths or participating in conferences to share my research will be an important part of my daily work.
During the semester, we improved our listening and concentration. We learned to be in the moment and to let go. We also learned the 10 rules of improv and discovered the notion of tilt (c'est quoi ?) but also the importance of having a character purpose firstly through extracts of Impro for Storytellers by Keith Johnstone and then through our scenes.
I was surprised by the accessibility of the exercises because I saw several improv shows before and it seemed really hard. Moreover, I feel like I memorized vocabulary much better than in a "classical" English class even though I didn't study it out of school. As we worked on essential things in everyday life while having fun, I actually would like to continue taking improv classes in English or even in French. I liked that everyone was benevolent and that we could pick a character purpose if we didn't have one instead of being completely helpless.
I still wish that we had treated how to show the public that a scene is a flashback though. I would also have liked to learn the techniques used in long-form improv but I am conscious that it is complicated to set up as we are beginners and have little time to practice.(practice est l'orthographe du verbe américain, practise est l'orthographe du verbe anglais)
Finally, I can say that this course allowed me to work on personal skills such as active listening or being more spontaneous and to discover public speaking. Also, I met new beautiful people. Moreover, it allowed me to start to gain(j'aurais plutôt mis un gérondif) eloquence by allowing me to speak freely in front of other people. I hope to keep learning the art of public speaking, which will be a real asset to my professional life and amazes (fascinates) me.
Réponse : Correction/ devoir de amel66, postée le 25-04-2022 à 14:28:04 (S | E)
Bonjour, merci de votre réponse !
J'ai des questions :
- Sur le fond vous en pensez quoi ?
- Quand peut-on utiliser although ?
- Quand utilise-t-on le pluperfect ? Je ne sais jamais quand l'employer à la place du prétérit, par exemple.
Pour vous répondre, un tilt c'est quelque chose qui va faire avancer la scène ou va faire changer le statut entre 2 personnages.
Par exemple, (platform) un employé qui amène un compte-rendu de réunion à son boss
(tilt) l'employé sort un pistolet, lui dit de démissionner et de faire de lui le nouveau boss sinon il le tue
(resolution) le boss accepte.
Il peut y avoir plusieurs tilts en une scène, surtout si elle est un peu longue.
N'hésitez pas si vous avez d'autres questions.
Bonne journée
Réponse : Correction/ devoir de lucile83, postée le 25-04-2022 à 16:21:13 (S | E)
Hello,
N'hésitez pas à nous renvoyer votre corrigé surtout
Regards,
lucile83
Réponse : Correction/ devoir de gerondif, postée le 25-04-2022 à 17:24:12 (S | E)
Bonjour
Sur le fond, c'est bien. En fait, j'ai la flemme de chercher ce qui pourrait être mieux, je ne vois pas de faille.
Although / though est une conjonction et signifie bien que : Although /though he was ill, he came.
Les adverbes : though, pourtant, yet, pourtant, cependant, however, cependant, pourtant, nevertheless, neammoins, s'utiliseront seuls avec une virgule.
He was ill. Still/Yet/However/Nevertheless, he came.
He was ill. He came, though. existe aussi.
Devant un nom : In spite of his illness, he came.
Le pluperfect s'utilise quand il y a antériorité.
Si seulement nous avions pu voir telle notion : I wish we had studied that subject.
Je vois, en lisant du Peter James par exemple, que cette antériorité disparait parfois en anglais moderne ou américain et que des prétérits sont employés à tort à la place du pluperfect, ou des "ago" à la place de "before", quand le point de départ est dans le passé. Mais tout est bien respecté chez Elisabeth George par exemple.
Réponse : Correction/ devoir de amel66, postée le 25-04-2022 à 18:39:41 (S | E)
Merci de vos réponses
Ah oui lucile83 !
Voici donc ce que j'ai fait :
This semester I attended for the first time improv classes without any theatrical experience. I was taught techniques that are specific to this discipline but also developed personal skills. Those could be reused in my future professional life as well. We can then wonder : "What did it bring to me ?". This question will be answered through the exploration of different themes (my expectations, what I learned...).
I wanted to join this class for the reason that I mentioned when I applied : I often looked for my words when I spoke. To avoid it, I would think about what I wanted to say before saying it. It made conversations complicated. The main reason why I came was to improve my spontaneity. Moreover, I knew people that had done improv and they seemed so pleased that I wanted to try this activity but had never dared to do it. I eventually took the plunge at the university because my friends wanted to give it a go too. Coming to this class allowed me to kill two birds with one stone.
Even if we only had one class a week, I realized I improved : I have more ideas than when I began. I feel more confident when speaking English. Indeed, I don't have to think before speaking anymore. I somewhat overcame my fear of saying something « stupid » or that did not fit perfectly. However, I still have to work on my eloquence (speaking louder, having a better pronunciation) and my ease to speak in front of many people. Nevertheless, I think that improv was the best option to begin my journey of learning public speaking. It puts less pressure as we don't have to write something and then recite it perfectly -which is difficult for me as I don't have a good memory-. This competence will be useful for my job as I want to be a mathematician. Speaking in front of people all day, teaching maths or participating in conferences to share my research will be an important part of my daily work.
During the semester, we improved our listening and concentration. We learned to be in the moment and to let go. We also learned the 10 rules of improv and discovered the notion of tilt but also the importance of having a character purpose, firstly through extracts of Impro for Storytellers by Keith Johnstone and then through our scenes.
I was surprised by the accessibility of the exercises because I saw several improv shows before and it seemed really hard. Moreover, I feel like I memorized vocabulary much better than in a "classical" English class even though I didn't study it out of school. As we worked on essential things in everyday life while having fun, I actually would like to continue taking improv classes in English or even in French. I liked that everyone was benevolent and that we could pick a character purpose if we didn't have one instead of being completely helpless.
I still wish that we had treated how to show the public that a scene is a flashback though. I would also have liked to learn the techniques used in long-form improv but I am conscious that it is complicated to set up as we are beginners and have little time to practise.
Finally, I can say that this course allowed me to work on personal skills such as active listening or being more spontaneous and to discover public speaking. Also, I met new beautiful people. Moreover, it allowed me to start gaining eloquence by allowing me to speak freely in front of other people. I hope to keep learning the art of public speaking, which will be a real asset to my professional life and fascinates me.
Qu'en pensez-vous ? J'ai essayé de corriger au mieux et j'ai gardé les suggestions (en vert) de gerondif.
Merci d'avance,
Bonne soirée
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