Bac/Spaces and exchanges
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Message de palomalchy posté le 23-03-2020 à 15:59:49 (S | E | F)
Bonjour
je suis en train de faire mes notions de bac qui approche vite; j'aurais besoin d'une correction car mon anglais peut parfois laisser à désirer....
je vous remercie d'avance
I’m going to talk about the notion spaces and exchanges. A space matches with the different countries and societies. The exchanges are the migratory, cultural, economic, linguistic … flow. This notion deals with the immigration to the United States. In order to illustrate this notion I will try to answer the question:
Why the migrant goes to America and not in another country? It’s the best place to immigrate?
To answer the question we will start by talking about why they migrate to United-States. So the United-Sates the USA represents the American dream, it represents the new life, and especially the dream life. Indeed the USA is seen as countries with the living conditions are appreciable as explained by father flood in the text of written understanding Brooklyn because Eilis lives in Ireland and the living conditions are better in America than in Ireland. She can have a better job and a more financially enviable life. Again with the written understanding Dear Matka we know she left because life was better in the USA than at home. The migrants leave their country still because the living conditions are better elsewhere but also for the school system as we see in a video where students decide to integrate a very famous school in America and for that they need good results for their baccalaureate. But migrants came in America also for the financial side, the work and the population more pleasant than elsewhere as explained in the documents Brookyn, Dear Matka, with the photo of Ellis Island who we can see the island and New York next to Ellis Island. We can see that in the interview of Stephen Fry says the Americans are very nice and optimistic so this is one of the best countries to immigrate.
After that we are going to see the different problems when you migrate to the United States. Fist the trip is very long by boat and very expensive... lot of migrants don’t enough to make the crossing we see that in the written understanding Brooklyn and Dear Matka because Rose spent a lot of time on the boat before she arrived. Another problem is the fact that America is often a destination that is far from the native country and Eilis’s mother is afraid of the danger of the country as well as of not seeing her daughter again because she will be far and will not return or Rose in Dear Matka who writes a letter to his mother to give her news because she is far away. At the end we can say that in time, the reception conditions for migrants were not all correct: they were separated, passed several inspections and the oral understanding of Ellis Island and the photo of Ellis Island proves these sometimes unpleasant and nasty conditions
To conclude we can say that immigrants come to the United States because the living conditions, the work, the financial conditions are better than in their country. But the United-States are not without problems because the trip is expensive and long. That migrants leave their families permanently or not but they can't go back every time.
Message de palomalchy posté le 23-03-2020 à 15:59:49 (S | E | F)
Bonjour
je suis en train de faire mes notions de bac qui approche vite; j'aurais besoin d'une correction car mon anglais peut parfois laisser à désirer....
je vous remercie d'avance
I’m going to talk about the notion spaces and exchanges. A space matches with the different countries and societies. The exchanges are the migratory, cultural, economic, linguistic … flow. This notion deals with the immigration to the United States. In order to illustrate this notion I will try to answer the question:
Why the migrant goes to America and not in another country? It’s the best place to immigrate?
To answer the question we will start by talking about why they migrate to United-States. So the United-Sates the USA represents the American dream, it represents the new life, and especially the dream life. Indeed the USA is seen as countries with the living conditions are appreciable as explained by father flood in the text of written understanding Brooklyn because Eilis lives in Ireland and the living conditions are better in America than in Ireland. She can have a better job and a more financially enviable life. Again with the written understanding Dear Matka we know she left because life was better in the USA than at home. The migrants leave their country still because the living conditions are better elsewhere but also for the school system as we see in a video where students decide to integrate a very famous school in America and for that they need good results for their baccalaureate. But migrants came in America also for the financial side, the work and the population more pleasant than elsewhere as explained in the documents Brookyn, Dear Matka, with the photo of Ellis Island who we can see the island and New York next to Ellis Island. We can see that in the interview of Stephen Fry says the Americans are very nice and optimistic so this is one of the best countries to immigrate.
After that we are going to see the different problems when you migrate to the United States. Fist the trip is very long by boat and very expensive... lot of migrants don’t enough to make the crossing we see that in the written understanding Brooklyn and Dear Matka because Rose spent a lot of time on the boat before she arrived. Another problem is the fact that America is often a destination that is far from the native country and Eilis’s mother is afraid of the danger of the country as well as of not seeing her daughter again because she will be far and will not return or Rose in Dear Matka who writes a letter to his mother to give her news because she is far away. At the end we can say that in time, the reception conditions for migrants were not all correct: they were separated, passed several inspections and the oral understanding of Ellis Island and the photo of Ellis Island proves these sometimes unpleasant and nasty conditions
To conclude we can say that immigrants come to the United States because the living conditions, the work, the financial conditions are better than in their country. But the United-States are not without problems because the trip is expensive and long. That migrants leave their families permanently or not but they can't go back every time.
Réponse : Bac/Spaces and exchanges de laure95, postée le 24-03-2020 à 10:13:55 (S | E)
Bonjour,
- The (pas de the)exchanges are the (pas de the)migratory, cultural, economic, linguistic … flow (pluriel). T
- Why the migrant goes to America and not in another country? It’s the best place to immigrate? : revoir structure d'une question: mot interrogatif + auxiliaire + sujet + verbe à l'infinitif
- they migrate to (article)United-States.
- So the United-Sates the USA (choisir)represents (faute de conjugaison)the American dream,
- Indeed the USA is (pluriel)seen
- countries with (pas le bon mot)the living conditions are appreciable
- The (pas de the)migrants leave their country still (still ?)
- we (can)see in a video
- the photo of Ellis Island who (pas le bon mot pour un lieu)we can see the island
- We can see that in the interview of Stephen Fry (mettre un pronom relatif)says
- (article) lot of migrants don’t enough
to make the crossing- we see
- a letter to his (pas le bon possessif)mother to give her news
- the oral understanding of Ellis Island and the photo of Ellis Island proves (faute de conjugaison)
- But the United-States are not without (any) problems
- That (that + singulier) migrants leave their families
- every time: all the time.
Réponse : Bac/Spaces and exchanges de palomalchy, postée le 24-03-2020 à 14:25:34 (S | E)
je vous remercie, comme à chaque fois
Réponse : Bac/Spaces and exchanges de here4u, postée le 25-03-2020 à 07:56:26 (S | E)
Hello !
Ce qui est souligné est très maladroit, pas idiomatique du tout !
I’m going to talk about the notion XX spaces and exchanges. A space matches with the different countries and societies. The exchanges are the migratory, cultural, economic, linguistic … flow.= plural This notion deals with the immigration to the United States. In order to illustrate this notion I will try to answer the question:
Why the migrant goes = structure interrogative !Why + auxiliaire+ sujet + v = ? ...(ordre des mots)to America and not in another country? It’s : forme interrogative= verbe + sujet + ?)the best place to immigrate?
To answer the question we will start by talking about why they migrate to XXX United-States. So the United-Sates (the USA) represents (Oui!) the American dream, it represents the? a new life, and especially the dream life. Indeed the USA is seen as X countries with= where the living conditions are appreciable as explained by father flood ??in the text of "written understanding" Brooklyn because Eilis lives in Ireland(très très maladroit!) and the living conditions are better in America than in Ireland. She can have a better job and a more financially enviable life. Again with "the written understanding" Dear Matka we know she left because life was better in the USA than at home. The migrants leave their country
After that we are going to see the different problems when you migrate to the United States. Fist the trip is very long by boat and very expensive... lot of migrants don’t enough ??? verbe?)to make the crossing we see that in the "written understanding" Brooklyn and Dear Matka because Rose spent a lot of time on the boat before she arrived. Another problem is the fact that America is often a destination that is far from the native country and Eilis’s mother is afraid of the danger of the country as well as of not seeing her daughter again because she will be far and will not return(STOP! Phrase beaucoup trop longue et non construite!) or Rose in Dear Matka who writes a letter to his mother to give her news because she is far away. At the end we can say that in time, the reception conditions for migrants were not all correct: they were separated, passed several inspections and the oral understanding of Ellis Island
and the photo of Ellis Island proves these sometimes unpleasant and nasty conditionsTo conclude we can say that immigrants come to the United States because the living conditions, the work, the financial conditions are better than in their country. But the United-States are not without problems(sounds like French!) because the trip is expensive and long. That migrants leave their families permanently or not but they can't go back every time.
Il est nécessaire de retravailler cette préparation (construire des phrases (moins longues ...) au lieu de juxtaposer des idées en "vrac", soigner les mots de liaison - rendre ce travail beaucoup plus clair ...) As it is, it sounds terribly French!)
Courage !
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