Correction/Expression écrite
Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En basCorrection/Expression écrite
Message de eliemaroun posté le 20-04-2019 à 18:22:57 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
J'ai réalisé une expression écrite en anglais. Pourriez-vous la corriger s'il vous plait?
Merci d'avance.
Sujet: You are Emma/Phil Wilson, an environmental activist. A new holiday resort is going to be built in the middle of a nature reserve. You write an article for Green Living magazine to denounce the problems raised by these plans and to suggest a few solutions.
Important: Say No for the news holidays center
Hi,
My name is Emma/Phil Wilson, I am an environmental activist since I have 17 years, and today, I have 31 years
Unfortunately, our wonderful states, Oregon records a rise in the tourist rate every year and consequences are several and the worst is the increase of pollution explain by these tourists. Today we are the states which pollutes least among all the other territories of the United States and if we do nothing, we will lose our place.
About that you have probably heard about the construction of a huge holidays center in full of the “SAUVIE ISALND WILDLIFE SANCTUARY”, a natural reserve. Yes, I know, still miliardaires who think about one thing: MONEY, MONEY, MONEY.
But, Apparently, this project appears a good idea to contribute at the tourist development. Tourist development: that the only advantage. I will tell you about the hidden side of this project.
- First this project was design by engineers who’s the only constrain is the cost, the structure of this center and the climatization, raw materials needed for construction are first not made in USA, but the worst is than this is not ecologic materials.
- Second is that in the middle of the “SAUVIE ISALND WILDLIFE SANCTUARY”. They will kill several natural species in the progress of extinction in our country.
- Third: The side will last 3 years, that will make loud noise emission and it will spoil the landscape.
- Fourth: these influxes of tourists will generate an increase in CO2 emissions due mainly to transport
Join our in a process to say no for this project. Ask Yourself: Would you accept this change over an infinite period.
I Count on you
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 20-04-2019 22:22
Message de eliemaroun posté le 20-04-2019 à 18:22:57 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
J'ai réalisé une expression écrite en anglais. Pourriez-vous la corriger s'il vous plait?
Merci d'avance.
Sujet: You are Emma/Phil Wilson, an environmental activist. A new holiday resort is going to be built in the middle of a nature reserve. You write an article for Green Living magazine to denounce the problems raised by these plans and to suggest a few solutions.
Important: Say No for the news holidays center
Hi,
My name is Emma/Phil Wilson, I am an environmental activist since I have 17 years, and today, I have 31 years
Unfortunately, our wonderful states, Oregon records a rise in the tourist rate every year and consequences are several and the worst is the increase of pollution explain by these tourists. Today we are the states which pollutes least among all the other territories of the United States and if we do nothing, we will lose our place.
About that you have probably heard about the construction of a huge holidays center in full of the “SAUVIE ISALND WILDLIFE SANCTUARY”, a natural reserve. Yes, I know, still miliardaires who think about one thing: MONEY, MONEY, MONEY.
But, Apparently, this project appears a good idea to contribute at the tourist development. Tourist development: that the only advantage. I will tell you about the hidden side of this project.
- First this project was design by engineers who’s the only constrain is the cost, the structure of this center and the climatization, raw materials needed for construction are first not made in USA, but the worst is than this is not ecologic materials.
- Second is that in the middle of the “SAUVIE ISALND WILDLIFE SANCTUARY”. They will kill several natural species in the progress of extinction in our country.
- Third: The side will last 3 years, that will make loud noise emission and it will spoil the landscape.
- Fourth: these influxes of tourists will generate an increase in CO2 emissions due mainly to transport
Join our in a process to say no for this project. Ask Yourself: Would you accept this change over an infinite period.
I Count on you
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 20-04-2019 22:22
Réponse : Correction/Expression écrite de laure95, postée le 20-04-2019 à 19:03:55 (S | E)
Bonsoir,
- I am an environmental activist since I have 17 years, and today, I have 31 years: since + present perfect + on n'utilise pas le verbe to have pour l'âge!
- our wonderful states: singulier.
- (article)consequences are several
- the increase of pollution explain (participe passé) by these tourists.
- Today we are the states (singulier) which pollutes (article)least
- among all the other territories of (in pas of)the United States
- About that you have probably heard (mal dit)about the construction of a huge holidays (pas de s)center
- in full of
the “SAUVIE ISALND WILDLIFE SANCTUARY”,- still (pas à la bonne place) miliardaires (mot français)who think
- this project appears (as) a good idea to contribute at (to pas at)the tourist development.
- First this project was design (participe passé)by engineers
- who’s: who's = qui est
- (article) raw materials needed for (article)construction are
- but the worst is than (pas le bon mot)this is (pluriel)not ecologic materials.
- Second is that in the middle of the “SAUVIE ISALND WILDLIFE SANCTUARY”: mal dit.
- in the progress of extinction: ?
- Join our (pas le bon mot: our = notre, nos.
- in a process to say no for (to pas for)this project.
- Ask Yourself: Would you accept this change over an infinite period: il manque un point d'interrogation
I Count on you
Réponse : Correction/Expression écrite de here4u, postée le 21-04-2019 à 10:14:28 (S | E)
Hello!
Il y a d'autres mots de liaison que "and" ... Raisonner par juxtaposition et coordination n'est pas la démarche demandée ...
My name is Emma/Phil Wilson, I am an environmental activist since I have 17 years(faux et maladroit!), and today, I have 31 years .
Unfortunately, our wonderful states, Oregon, records a rise in the tourist rate every year and XXX consequences are several. and the worst one is the increase of pollution explain by these tourists.
Today we are the states which pollutes XXX least among all the other territories of the United States and if we do nothing, we will lose our place.About that(punctuation?) you have probably heard about the construction of a huge holidays center in full of the “SAUVIE ISALND WILDLIFE SANCTUARY”, a natural reserve. Yes, I know, still miliardaires who think about one thing: MONEY, MONEY, MONEY.
But, Apparently, this project appears XX XX a good idea to contribute at the tourist development. Tourist development: that the only advantage
(No verb?). I will tell you about the hidden side of this project.- First this project was design by engineers who’s the(whose) only constrain is the cost, the structure of this center and the climatization
Lien internet, raw materials needed for construction are first not made in XXX USA, but the worst is than this is not ecologicXX materials.(You're mixing up singular and plural!)
- Second is that in the middle of the “SAUVIE ISALND WILDLIFE SANCTUARY”. They will kill several natural species in the progress of extinction (endangered species) in our country.
- Third: The side
will last 3 years, that will make loud noise emission and it will spoil the landscape.- Fourth: these influxes of tourists will generate an increase in CO2 emissions due mainly to transport
Join our in a process to say no for(refuse? / oppose?) this project. Ask Yourself: Would you accept this change over an infinite period.
I Count on you Punctuation...???
Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais
