Text/Science
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Message de emma22 posté le 01-04-2019 à 22:43:13 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
Etant en licence de Langues Etrangères Appliquées je m'entraîne à écrire des textes en anglais afin d'améliorer ma maîtrise de cette langue. Je me demandais si c'était possible d'avoir un avis sur ce texte au niveau de la syntaxe et de la tournure de mes phrases et une éventuelle correction.
Merci d'avance.
Cordialement.
Emma
To start, I think it's important to notice that science improved every day since many years and makes considerably improved the way of life and also grown up the life expectancy. That's why we can wondering until where the science is able to go to assure a better life in particular for the new-born one ?
First, I'm going to talk about the medicine babies. We studied the movie « My sister keeper » in which one we have seen that an eleven-year-old girl decides to make a complaint against her own parents because she had been made by scientists with the help of a technology called PGD Pre-implantation Genetic Diagnosis. It's a procedure created by scientists in order to select an embryo to give birth to a healthy baby. That's why it can be considered as a breakthrough because it can save lives, so that's a huge improvement in health. But this movie shows the point of view of that little girl who cannot refuse to give one of her organ and dispose of her own body so as Mooly Nash in the text « Saviour siblings ». That is the reason why these cases are considered as a scientific controversy and made headlines.
Moreover, this technology is now used to make designer babies. We had learned from the text « Designer baby » that it is a term used to refer to a baby whose genetic-makeup. It is presented as a scientific breakthrought because these babies had been artificially selected by engineering combined with InVitro-Fertilisation to ensure the presence or absence of particular genes or characteristics. But this procedure is used by some parents in order to make a perfect baby by choosing the color of the eyes and hair and also the sexe of the future baby and all of his physical characteristics. So such as the medicine babies, the designer babies made headlines too, because it could create all the same humans with the same physical standards seen as beautiful and made disappear the human diversity.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 01-04-2019 22:48
Message de emma22 posté le 01-04-2019 à 22:43:13 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
Etant en licence de Langues Etrangères Appliquées je m'entraîne à écrire des textes en anglais afin d'améliorer ma maîtrise de cette langue. Je me demandais si c'était possible d'avoir un avis sur ce texte au niveau de la syntaxe et de la tournure de mes phrases et une éventuelle correction.
Merci d'avance.
Cordialement.
Emma
To start, I think it's important to notice that science improved every day since many years and makes considerably improved the way of life and also grown up the life expectancy. That's why we can wondering until where the science is able to go to assure a better life in particular for the new-born one ?
First, I'm going to talk about the medicine babies. We studied the movie « My sister keeper » in which one we have seen that an eleven-year-old girl decides to make a complaint against her own parents because she had been made by scientists with the help of a technology called PGD Pre-implantation Genetic Diagnosis. It's a procedure created by scientists in order to select an embryo to give birth to a healthy baby. That's why it can be considered as a breakthrough because it can save lives, so that's a huge improvement in health. But this movie shows the point of view of that little girl who cannot refuse to give one of her organ and dispose of her own body so as Mooly Nash in the text « Saviour siblings ». That is the reason why these cases are considered as a scientific controversy and made headlines.
Moreover, this technology is now used to make designer babies. We had learned from the text « Designer baby » that it is a term used to refer to a baby whose genetic-makeup. It is presented as a scientific breakthrought because these babies had been artificially selected by engineering combined with InVitro-Fertilisation to ensure the presence or absence of particular genes or characteristics. But this procedure is used by some parents in order to make a perfect baby by choosing the color of the eyes and hair and also the sexe of the future baby and all of his physical characteristics. So such as the medicine babies, the designer babies made headlines too, because it could create all the same humans with the same physical standards seen as beautiful and made disappear the human diversity.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 01-04-2019 22:48
Réponse : Text/Science de laure95, postée le 02-04-2019 à 14:12:47 (S | E)
Bonjour Emma,
- science improved every day since (pas le bon mot devant many years + il faut employer le présent perfect)many years
- and makes considerably improved (infinitif)the way of life and also grown (infinitif) up the (pas de the)life expectancy.
- we can wondering: can + infinitif.
- until where (mal dit)the (pas de the) science is able to go (mal dit)to assure a better life in particular for the new-born one ?
- to talk about the (pas de the) medicine babies.
- in which one (pas de one)
- an eleven-year-old girl decides (present perfect)to make a complaint
- she had been made
by scientists- We had learned (present perfect)from the text
- a baby whose genetic-makeup: ?,
- these babies had been (present perfect)artificially selected
- and all of his (or her)physical characteristics.
- So such as the (pas de the) medicine babies, the (pas de the)designer babies made headlines too,
- made disappear the human diversity: ordre des mots.
Réponse : Text/Science de emma22, postée le 02-04-2019 à 15:22:59 (S | E)
Bonjour,
Je vous remercie pour votre réponse. J'ai modifié mon texte en espérant avoir corrigé ce qu'il fallait.
Voici mon texte modifié.
Cordialement
Emma
To start, I think it's important to notice that science has improved every day for many years and makes considerably improve the way of life and also grow up life expectancy. That's why we can wonder how far science is able to get to assure a better life in particular for the new-born one ?
First, I'm going to talk about medicine babies. We studied the movie « My sister keeper » in which we have seen that an eleven-year-old girl has decided to make a complaint against her own parents because she has been created by scientists with the help of a technology called PGD Pre-implantation Genetic Diagnosis. It's a procedure created by scientists in order to select an embryo to give birth to a healthy baby. That's why it can be considered as a breakthrough because it can save lives, so that's a huge improvement in health. But this movie shows the point of view of that little girl who cannot refuse to give one of her organ and dispose of her own body so as Mooly Nash in the text « Saviour siblings ». That is the reason why these cases are considered as a scientific controversy and made headlines.
Moreover, this technology is now used to make designer babies. We have learned from the text « Designer baby » that it is a term used to refer to a baby whose the genetic-makeup (= genotype) has been selected. It is presented as a scientific breakthrought because these babies have been artificially selected by engineering combined with InVitro-Fertilisation to ensure the presence or absence of particular genes or characteristics. But this procedure is used by some parents in order to make a perfect baby by choosing the color of the eyes and hair and also the sexe of the future baby and all of her physical characteristics. So such as medicine babies, designer babies made headlines too, because it could create all the same humans with the same physical standards seen as beautiful and made the human diversity disappear.
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