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Oral/ idée de progrès

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Oral/ idée de progrès
Message de magique1110 posté le 10-04-2018 à 12:08:41 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
je viens de finir la notion d'idée de progrès et je pense que c'est un peu trop long mais je ne sais pas quoi enlever.
Pouvez-vous me corriger s'il vous plait?.
Merci pour vos réponses.

First of all, we can define progress as a development towards a better life and future in modern condition. Nowadays when we speak of progress, we are making a reference at the evolution of society, economy, our way of thinking and living… For example the new technologies, the medical progress… It can improve peoples lives, but in some cases it can have negative consequences for some people. Is progress vital or should we fear it and abandon it ? On the one hand we can see the possitive aspect of Progress and on the other hand the negative consequences.

To begin with progress is essential to lives better condition in the future. It is an improvement of our way of lives. Fist progress allows a better comunication.
The cartoon « Screens everywhere ! » represent the modern communication with computer, cellphones… Nowadays people can write to each other even if they’re far one from another.
Progress is also essential to improve our lifestyle especially on the family life and the transport. Today we can move more easily, thanks to the car, bus.. In some job we can work in the best condition. We can even take pleasure to work !
In the oral Comprehension « Americas Young Inventors » we can invented 2 inventions to makes our lives easier. Firts a train detective device. It prevent car accidents drivers are warned thanks to a bell when a train is coming. And secondly a remote-controlled vacumm. This helps handiccapped people.
In the « Working from home », New technologies have allowed many people to work from home and that is an important evolution in our lives. It has many advantages : you don’t have working times, you can organize your life more easily. The same for « telecommuting ,it allows to have more time to spend with family, a better life quality, talking part in school events.
The progress has an impact a the future for exemple in « a baby please ! » A genetic test allows to remove serious diseases such as blindness or mental retardation. Maybe in the future we will be able to live in a word without diseases !

For some people progress has negative consequences. Firstly, the progress has a impact on our job, we must do attention what is said of internet.
For example in « the Joy of tech », we show 3 people who are jobless and who are became beggars. All that because of their stupid/ childish behaviour on social networks. This comportment has destroyed / ruined their lives.
There are also different way to working for example working from Home or telecommuting. This 2 aim posess drawbacks. For « Working a home », we are always at home, We feel lonely. And especially whe are too many distractions ( children…). The same thing for « tellecommuting ». It’s very boring. There are also in impact of the relation ships. In fact the people rest in their house everything since than the communication in the world is within easy reach. Nowadays the communication is more and more virtual. People communicate via screens and there is less an less face to face.
The cartoon « sreens everywhere » show the generation gap between father and son. A teenager is glued to this computer instead of being outside whith is father. The boy is addicted to the internet he lives in an imaginary world and thinks everything can be done online !
Then the progress is a big dangers particularly internet for the people. At all events, Many people are hurted and even killed.
For instance in the cartoon « the screens everywhere » the woman is watching a video showing 3 girls who had an accident while texting somebody. But the driver is watching the same video on his phone ! He’s not focused on the road. He has a dangerous behaviour : he may have accident/ get hurt or kill someone. The same thing when we walk on the sildwalk, we didn’t pay attention on the sign, because we are focused on our cellphone ! So didn’t see whats happening arround us, up to put ourselves in danger or hurt someone. And also in the « Is privacy dead » we can see that people can be stole your indenties, your personal information and used against you if you’re not careful enought. It’s stunning !
And finnaly the most inportante impact is on our future ! because whith the progress we does anything whith anything. We can change the human ! For example ine « A baby please ! » the parents we can choose the characteristics of their future chid like children choosing a doll !!! Although progress can improve our lives we should keep it under control if we don’t want to become robots in the future. In the « Brave new world » a scientific has be a succeess to create clones for create a wordl dominated by a totalitarian government. Whe has 2 part : the upper castes and the lower castes. That we show that with progress we can going far and do the world totaly different of now. We can destroyed the world !

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 10-04-2018 13:20


Réponse : Oral/ idée de progrès de gerondif, postée le 10-04-2018 à 14:31:12 (S | E)
Bonjour

avant de statuer sur la longueur, voyons un peu toutes ces erreurs de conjugaison de singulier pluriel, d'accord....
erreurs en bleu

First of all, we can define progress as a development towards a better life and future in modern condition(pluriel). Nowadays when we speak of progress, we are making(plutôt présent simple) a reference at(to) the evolution of society, economy, our way of thinking and living… For example the new technologies, the medical progress… It(à ôter, ou mettre they) can improve peoples(genitif, cas possessif) lives, but in some cases it can have negative consequences for some people. Is progress vital or should we fear it and abandon it ? On the one hand we can see the possitive aspect (pluriel) of Progress and on the other hand the negative consequences.

To begin with(virgule) progress is essential to lives(pas de s à l'infinitif !!) better condition in the future. It is an improvement of(in) our way of lives(singulier). Fist(fist, le poing, first, premièrement)(virgule) progress allows a better comunication.
The cartoon « Screens everywhere ! » represent(le s du présent simple 3ème personne !!) the modern communication with computer(pluriel), cellphones… Nowadays people can write to each other even if they’re far one from(inverser) another.
Progress is also essential to improve our lifestyle especially on the family life and the transport. Today we can move more easily, thanks to the car, bus(pluriel).. In some job(pluriel) we can work in the best condition(pluriel). We can even take pleasure in working to work !
In the oral Comprehension « Americas(cas possessif) Young Inventors » we can invented(oh là !! pas de ed derrière can) 2 inventions to makes(ojh là !! pas de s aux infinitifs) our lives easier. Firts(en vrac) a train detective device. It prevent(le s....) car accidents(point) drivers are warned thanks to a bell when a train is coming. And secondly a remote-controlled vacumm(vacuum)(vous voulez dire a vacuum-cleaner, un aspirateur parce que faire le vide autour de soi automatiquement, c'est mourir étouffé, or, depuis les nazis, on a renoncé heureusement à celà pour les handicapés !! Sauf en Syrie où la guerre chimique se perpétue....). This helps handiccapped people.
In the « Working from home », New technologies have allowed many people to work from home and that is an important evolution in our lives. It has many advantages : you don’t have working (schedules, horaires))times, you can organize your life more easily. The same for « telecommuting ,it allows to have more time to spend with family, a better life quality, talking part in school events.
The progress has an impact a(on) the future for exemple in « a baby please ! » A genetic test allows to remove serious diseases such as blindness or mental retardation. Maybe in the future we will be able to live in a word without diseases !

For some people(virgule) progress has negative consequences. Firstly, the progress has an impact on our job(pluriel), we must do attention(français traduit, à eviter !!) what is said of internet.
For example in « the Joy of tech », we(ah, vous êts un des auteurs ?) show 3 people who are jobless and who are became(conjugaison broyée) beggars. All that because of their stupid/ childish behaviour on social networks. This comportment has destroyed / ruined(tiens pourquoi deux possibilités ? vous avez travaillé au traducteur automatique ?) their lives.
There are also different way(pluriel) to(of) working for example working from Home or telecommuting. This 2 aim posess (en vrac ! sens ??)drawbacks. For(pourquoi introduire par "pour" ? j'aurais mis "dans") « Working a home », we are always at home, We feel lonely. And especially whe are(nous "sommes" trop de distractions??) too many distractions ( children…). The same thing for « tellecommuting ». It’s very boring. There are also in impact of(il y a un impact sur ? revoyez votre façon d'écrire et votre choix de mots) the relationships. In fact the people rest in their house everything (vous vouliez dire ils restent dans leur maison tout le temps ? Revoyez votre choix de vocabulaiore. to rest = se reposer everything = tout, tous les objets)since than (depuis que traduit mot-à-mot à revoir !!)the communication in the world is within easy reach. Nowadays the communication is more and more virtual. People communicate via screens and there is less and less face to face (ne se dit pas).
The cartoon « screens everywhere » show(le s au verbe !!) the generation gap between father and son. A teenager is glued to this(his) computer instead of being outside whith is(orthographe) father. The boy is addicted to the internet he lives in an imaginary world and thinks everything can be done online !
Then the progress is a big dangers(pas de s de pluriel aux mots singuliers) particularly internet for the people. At all events,(ne se dit pas) Many people are hurted(verbe irrégulier) and even killed.
For instance in the cartoon « the screens everywhere » the woman is watching a video showing 3 girls who had an accident while texting somebody. But the driver is watching the same video on his phone ! He’s not focused on the road. He has a dangerous behaviour : he may have an accident/ get hurt or kill someone. The same thing (manque un verbe) when we walk on the sildwalk, we didn’t(présent simple) pay attention on(to) the sign, because we are focused on our cellphone ! So didn’t(présent) see what's happening arround us, up to put(jusqu'à se mettre en danger ? mal ficelé) ourselves in danger or hurt someone. And also in the « Is privacy dead » we can see that people can be stole (infinitif)your indenties, your personal information and usedit against you if you’re not careful enought. It’s stunning !
And finnaly(orthographe) the most inportante impact is on our future ! because whith the progress we does(oh là ! Revoyez votre façon de conjuguer) anything whith anything. We can change the human(ne va pas, human est un adjectif et il se sent bien seul) ! For example ine « A baby please ! » the parents we c(double sujet)an choose the characteristics of their future child like children choosing a doll !!! Although progress can improve our lives we should keep it under control if we don’t want to become robots in the future. In the « Brave new world » a scientific(est un adjectif) has be(mauvais verbe il a eu du succèe, pas il a être un succès) a succeess to(in + ing) create clones for(to) create a wordl dominated by a totalitarian government. Whe(revoir l'orthographe de nous: WE) has(revoir la conjugaison du verbe avoir) 2 part(revoir le pluriel!) : the upper castes and the lower castes. That we show that with progress we can going (oh là ! pas d'ing derrière can) far and do the world totaly different of now(construction à revoir). We can destroyed(base verbale derrière can, pas de ing, pas de ed ...) the world !
Waouh 30 minutes depuis que j'ai copié "bonjour"!!




Réponse : Oral/ idée de progrès de here4u, postée le 10-04-2018 à 15:38:45 (S | E)
Hello!
Je confirme, c'est trop long ... beaucoup trop long ... Aucun examinateur ne "supportera" un exposé aussi long ... et vous serez incapable d'apprendre cette synthèse trop longue. La prise de parole en continue doit tenir en 5 ou 6 minutes au plus pour laisser place aux questions, à l'interaction (que les élèves essaient toujours d'éviter ) avec l'examinateur et les questions non traduites automatiquement ... ) Plus le contraste entre le début (souvent, hélas, appris par coeur ... et mal récité) et la suite (forcément improvisée) est grand, et moins la note sera bonne.
Ce qui convient est :
- un plan détaillé (avec l'introduction connue) qui expose les idées importantes des différents documents.
- un peu de commentaire personnel sur la question soulevée et un élargissement sur le problème qui se raccroche à l'actualité, si possible.
Tout ceci se travaille au fil des documents, toute l'année ... Ces documents sont connus en profondeur ... mais votre professeur a bien dû vous expliquer tout ceci ...




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