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Aide/Black Friday

Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Aide/Black Friday
Message de lea128 posté le 04-02-2018 à 19:11:03 (S | E | F)
Bonjourn
Aidez-moi à corriger mon texte s'il vous plaît.
Merci pour vos réponses.

In class, we talked about two big events : Black Friday and Mega Monday.
The Black Friday takes place the day after Thanksgiving.
In order to appeal of a public less target : all walks of life ; during this event, traders lower their prices. So there are many persons in shopping centers and this, cause a violent fanatical crowd behavious .
Mega Monday it's the same concept of the Black Friday but the biggest difference between these two events is the way this unfold : all is on the in the internet. Thanks to this difference, people avoided meeting with the fanatical crowd behavious. Mega Monday takes place the day after the Black Friday.
We can considered these events can include the notion Idea of progress because thanks to the globalization, these two events became cultural. The Mega Monday it's a good progress because there are no crowd. Less violence. But, purchasers do bad things. They spend in a large amount and it's often things that they don't need. So, they can run into debs. Even so, this bad consumption permit an improvement of the economy of these societies.

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Modifié par lucile83 le 04-02-2018 22:26


Réponse : Aide/Black Friday de dsmith, postée le 05-02-2018 à 06:15:18 (S | E)
Bonjour lea128,

Je vais essayer de vous aider. Je vous donne quelques suggestions.

In class, we talked about two big events : Black Friday and Mega (Aux USA c'est "Cyber Monday" Monday.
The (supprimez "the" ici)Black Friday takes place the day after Thanksgiving.
In order to appeal of a public less target Je ne comprends pas trop...In order to have wide appeal without targeting anyone specifically? : all walks of life ; during this event, traders (stores) lower their prices. So there are many persons in shopping centers and this, cause (mauvaise conjugation) a violent fanatical crowd behavious (behavior) .
Mega (Cyber) Monday it's (supprimer it...c'est juste "is" the same concept of (enlever "of" remplacer avec "as") the (enlevez "the" Black Friday but the biggest difference between these two events is the way this (they) unfold : all is on the in the (enlevez in the) internet. Thanks to this difference, people avoided (mettez en présent) meeting with the fanatical crowd behavious (comme en dessus). Mega Monday takes place the day after (lundi n'est pas le lendemain de vendredi) the Black Friday.
We can considered (meetez en présent) these events can include the notion Idea (enlevez notion) of progress because thanks to the (enlevez "the") globalization, these two events became cultural. The Mega Monday it's a good progress because there are no crowd (pluriel). Less violence. But, purchasers do bad things. They spend in (pas besoin de ce mot) a large amount and it's often things that they don't need. So, they can run into debs. Even so, this bad consumption permit (mauvaise conjugation...mettez en singulier) an improvement of the economy of these societies.




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