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Places and forms of power/aide

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Places and forms of power/aide
Message de emi1225 posté le 14-12-2017 à 18:49:14 (S | E | F)
Bonsoir
J'ai fini mon oral d'anglais sur places and forms of power. Est-ce que quelqu'un pourrait me donner son avis et indiquer mes fautes pour que je me corrige s'il vous plait?
Bonne soirée.

ORAL ANGLAIS : PLACES AND FORMS OF POWER
The notion I’m going to deal with is “seats and forms of Power”.
Let me begin by defining “power”. It is the ability or official capacity to exercise control or authority over others. It can be a person, a group, or a nation having great influence over people. Power is exercised through a variety of relationships sustained or accepted, often internalized.
Since the beginning of the twenty-first century, citizens have not been afraid to show their opinions and to act contrary to the State, in particular in demonstrations.
The question we can raise is : How did citizens oppose political powers in the 2000s?
So, on the one hand, we are going to talk about the banking and financial crisis which marked the US. On the other hand, we are going to talk about the Women's March.

I - THE WOMEN'S MARCH
The first document I’m going to describe is about is video from the television news which dates to back to January 2017. The article reports on the Women's March. This demonstration established to promote the women rights, the questions of LGBT rights and to the reforms of immigration.
500 000 participants including men gathered in the street of Washington DC for the investiture of Donald Trump. A lot of people carried a pink hats with little ears of cats. Where from the nickname “pussy hats”. It is plays on words from Donald Trump in a scandalous video where he highlighted to have the ability to pay all women he desires.
Despite the many battles they had waged against the traditional conventions, it is clear that women are not still equal to the men in various subjects in particular at work. In my view, their fights are not over so that someday that there is a real equality between men and women.

II - SUBPRIME MORTGAGE CRISIS
The second document I’m going to describe is about is a cartoon from Clay Bennett. We can see a policeman arrest man in the street carrying a badge. In this badge, it is written 1% which represent the have nots.
At the beginning, it was a trouble bound to real-estate and it became a global economic crisis. Banks foreclosed. Banks and investors made a lot of money. Houses were reclaimed, more people became homeless and now belonged to the have nots.
More people couldn't have difficulties to make both ends meet. The movement started in NYC then around the world. It went viral. Today, because of social networks, people could all gather more quickly. People demonstrated in Wall Street, where it is located the New York Stock Exchange in lower Manhattan. Because Wall Street is a symbol of big money and financial market. The crowd demonstrated with placards like “Homeless, Jobless, time is hard” or “I'm the hopeless”. The movement denounced the huge discrepancy between the haves and the have nots. They confronted the big money, so the 1% representing the unemployment, and other social ills.
Conclusion:
To put it in a nutshell, despite that the USA is a country which support the freedom and the equality, there are still exist today numerous inequalities. As a consequence, these pacifist demonstrations are necessary to show our disagreements and to hope one day a world without inequalities.

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Modifié par lucile83 le 14-12-2017 22:37


Réponse : Places and forms of power/aide de laure95, postée le 16-12-2017 à 16:05:57 (S | E)
Bonjour,
- So, on the one hand, we are going to talk about the banking and financial crisis which marked (mettre au present perfect)the US.
J'utiliserai plutôt les formules "first" or "in the first part" et ensuite "second" or "in a second part" pour annoncer ton plan.

I - THE WOMEN'S MARCH (dans ton annonce de plan, c'est ta seconde partie!)
- to describe is about is video: ?
- which dates to (pas de to) back to January 2017.
- the women (il manque la marque de la possession)rights
- in the street (dans une seule rue?) of Washington DC
- A lot of people carried (pas le bon mot ici + mettre au preterit en be+-ing)a (a + singulier)pink hats with little ears of cats.
- Where from (pas le bon mot ici) the nickname “pussy hats”.
- It is plays: mal construit.
- he highlighted to have the ability to pay all women he desires (passé).
- Despite the (pas de the)many battles they had waged (present perfect)against the traditional conventions,
- equal to the (pas de the)men in various subjects
- In my view, their fights are not over so that someday that there is a(concordance des temps) real equality

II - SUBPRIME MORTGAGE CRISIS
- to describe is about is: ?
- a cartoon from (by pas from) Clay Bennett.
- We can see a policeman arrest (pas la bonne forme du verbe)man in the street carrying a badge.
- In (pas la bonne préposition)this badge, it is written 1% which represent (faute de conjugaison) the have nots.
- and now belonged (now implique le présent, pas le passé)to the have nots.
- More people couldn't have difficulties to make both ends meet: c'est plutôt le contraire!
- people could all (pas de all)gather more quickly.
- where it is located the New York Stock Exchange: mal construit.

Conclusion:
To put it in a nutshell, despite that the USA is a country which support (faute de conjugaison: le sujet est "a country")the freedom and the equality (généralité donc pas de "the" à ces 2 mots),
- there are still exist (mal construit)today (pas à la bonne place) numerous inequalities.
- without (any)inequalities.




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